Tag: Humor

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…leading to the question:  why the fuck did they get stimulus checks to start off with?  (This is the same government that the Left wants to run healthcare and pretty much everything else.)

…to which my response is:  fuck off, Dumbledore.

…which is what happens when you give low-level flunkies power over other people by over-broad restrictions.

…and whoever is making these claims should be flogged in the public square.  Especially if they’re non-Europeans wearing jeans and using cell phones.

…which is okay.  We Murkins have other places we can visit, until the Euros come to their senses and decide they can’t do without out Yankee tourist dollars.  And we may or may not come back, because if we want to see anarchist punks rioting in cities, we can do that right here by visiting Seattle, Austin or New York.

And now three related headlines:

…and to paraphrase some other smart guy:  Don’t trust Pakistan.  Pakistan is asshole.

…yeah, I know it’s satire.  Fake, but accurate.

…somebody needs to remind me why we don’t impose mandatory execution of people convicted of this.  Maybe that would shut these fucking perverts up.

…to the surprise of precisely… nobody.

And now, one example of how to do things properly:

…and another way which will lead to failure:

…which would be like going to a restaurant, but not being allowed to eat or drink anything.  Morons.

Good grief but the news is getting boring these days.  No wonder the New York Times is creating fake news left, right and center (mostly about the Right, but that’s a story for another time).

We persevere nevertheless, just like Olympic athletes (two links):

…just as absolutely nobody expected they would.  [/maxi-sarc]

…oh great;  your mediocre products don’t suck enough already, but now you’re going to bugger them up even more by inviting under-qualified tokens to work on them.

…right, Noam.  And your old asshole buddy Josef Stalin was just a peach of a human being.  You Commie fuck.

…wait:  weren’t lack of pollution and fewer vapor trails supposed to be a good thing?  So the “good” things are now going to cause a “bad” thing.  Unless, of course, the “experts” who came up with this warning are as full of shit as all the other “experts” we hear from nowadays.  Ummmmm I’ll take that option for $400, Alex.

…funny, I thought that the Brits were kinda the masters at this game.  And speaking of mastery:

…and Augusta National is doubtless going to fold like a damp shirt in the face of this bullshit, just like they did when they allowed women to join the club.

One of Monty Python’s old sketches involved a group of contestants trying to answer questions about the writings of Marcel Proust.  As none of them could satisfactorily explain the rococo intricacies of Proust’s prose [sic], the judges instead gave the prize to the lady in the front row with the big tits.  That’s what I’m going to do now, by ending with some news that’s so irrelevant, so pointless and so silly, it is a perfect summation of how bored I am with the whole business.

…it’s not my fault;  society’s to blame.  [/Monty Python]