Major Irritant

What goes:  “Fuck. Double fuck.  Double-doublety-double fuck”?

That would be me.

When my Logitech mouse starts randomly double-clicking when I tap the key once.

Yesterday I tried to see whether it was a software or hardware issue, so I tried going to Logitech’s “Customer Support” site (okay, you can stop laughing now).

  1. Tried blowing compressed air under the key, as helpfully suggested by Rajib “Logan”  — didn’t help.
  2. “Enter the serial # of your mouse, then we’ll know exactly what it is”  — fucking hell, I could barely read the thing with a magnifying glass, and every time I turned it over to read it, the cursor wandered out of the chat panel, never to be seen again.  Eventually, after uttering Sentence #1 of this post a few times, I managed to get the thing entered.
  3. “Do you have another PC or laptop where you can test your mouse?” — good idea.  Then we can see if it’s a laptop software issue or a mouse issue.  Hopped over to New Wife’s PC in the next room.  Once I’d called her to get the login password — shuddup — I connected it up and… nope, still doing it, the little fucking fucking double-fucking piece of shit.  Go back to laptop.
  4. “Session has timed out.  Do you want to log in again?” — where’s the 1911?  Oh yeah, in pieces on the table waiting to be cleaned. So I log in once more.
  5. “We’re sorry, but your warranty expired on 02/22/21.  We cannot replace your mouse.”

So I shot bit the bullet — not literally, ammo is spendy — and ordered another one.  From Amazon.

“Your order may be delayed as the product is on back order.”

            

[several lines of cursing omitted]

Too Much Automotive Bullshit

I’ve ranted on and on about how I hate the intrusion of technology into the simple act of driving, but my ire is approaching volcanic levels.  Try this little snippet (via Insty, thankee, Squire):

While it’s often easier to sync your phone to a vehicle, it doesn’t allow the company you purchased the vehicle from to maximize its data harvesting capabilities. It also lets you circumvent their operating system to a large degree and any apps that might be tied to commerce, which is why automakers are now trying to sweeten the pot. The ultimate goal is to basically convert your vehicle into something that can sweep up just as much information about you as your smartphone — if not more.

“If you’re using Android Auto or Apple CarPlay, then you’re kind of limited [for use of applications]”, Alexander Schoenhals, a Mercedes-Benz engineer working on third-party apps, explained.

Do they even realize how sinister this all sounds?  Every time I read shit like this from MB, BMW or VW, I want the 8th Army Air Force group to be re-constituted just to fly over and bomb their fucking factories into rubble (and repeat with Detroit on the return leg), simply to weed this bullshit out and force the aforementioned data harvesters to start from scratch all over again.

I’m unlikely to buy a new car anytime soon, if at all — more likely, I’ll be driving New Wife’s Fiat 500 forever, once my non-technological Tiguan has breathed its last drop of 89 octane unleaded.

But mark my words;  I will never drive some information vampire like the modern breed.

I’d rather find a way to get my hands on something from the pre-technology era (1970s) like a VW Thing, a Jeep CJ5 or others of that ilk (other suggestions in Comments), and deal with their discomfort and unreliability.

As for modern car manufacturers:  fuck ’em, and the motherboard they’re surfing in on.  I want no part of their shit.

Remote Silliness

It’s a well-known fact that if a criminal scrote wants to get into your car, he will.  But why make it easier for him?

Got a car with keyless technology? It’s twice as likely to be stolen: Insurer reveals changing face of motor theft as brazen criminals shift tactics.

This is one modern geegaw I’ve never understood the need for, let alone wanted in my car.  What is so difficult about inserting a key into the ignition and turning it, that you have to make it “wireless”?

Of course, there’s this:

  • Price of electronic starter fob when added to your car’s selling price:  > $300
  • Price of metal key:  ~$1.

Fuck ’em.  If I ever get a new car (highly unlikely), the first thing I’ll have done is get the fob disabled.  And if it can’t be disabled and is the only way to start the car, I’ll get another car with a fucking metal key.

This has nothing to do with a resistance to change;  it’s resistance to pointless, expensive and unnecessary change.

Next:  electronic handbrakes.

Disconnected

I read this guy’s story with something akin to dread:

And that’s when I realized that little by little, my phone had gotten the best of me.

I’ve often prided myself on one of the few people not shackled to my phone, but after reading this guy’s story, I chided myself for my arrogance.

As much as I hate to admit it, my phone is now an integral part of my existence, as much as my glasses or my car.

We’ve been one-carring it since the beginning of the week — first, my car had to (finally) get completely fixed after my collision with the highway crocodile a few weeks ago, which meant that while New Wife was driving to and from work, I sat at home, isolated.  Then I had to get some errands done (Rx refills etc.) so I had to drive her to and from work for a day.  Then, just as we were going to pick up the Tiguan, I got this call:  “My check engine light just came on.”

So we picked up my car and dropped hers off, to get the oil changed as well as getting whatever the warning light entailed seen to.  All manageable (except the total repair cost for the two cars — I’m going to have to sell a gun or two, and I’m not kidding), but having one car was an inconvenience, really.

However:  had my phone disappeared on me during this time, that would have been simply catastrophic.  Calls to the auto repair shop, calls to New Wife to organize pickup times… the list of critical calls was far longer than I was comfortable with.  And don’t even ask me how I’d have got through to anyone without my phone’s contact list.

Like many people nowadays, we don’t have a landline phone in the apartment.  But I’m starting to rethink that — or else I’m going to get a no-contract burner phone for emergencies.

This modern life is bullshit, and it sucks green donkey dicks.