Category: Bad News

Starting off with some good news:

...and all he had to do was fire a bunch of government workers and close their departments.  Jealous, I am.

...”about fucking time”?  Well, I would have said that.

In Tech News:

...except when it comes to censoring conservative content and making it disappear from their search engine.

In the Lawn Order Dept.:

...in which we play the our always-popular “Guess the Race” game.  Also keyword:  Chicago.

And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...to the surprise of absolutely nobody with any common sense, as we’ve noted before.

...and anywhere else, he’d be losing his mind permanently as his body temperature reaches that of the room;  but not in Britishland.

...which somehow manages to combine both The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© and Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©.

And speaking of the unspeakable:

...which would concern me if I actually gave a flying fuck about the snowflakes’ opinion of me — especially as:

...well isn’t that special.  Let’s send a few (hundred) thousand of them to live in Gaza, then.

And speaking of Unspeakable Wokism:

...in which we play our new “Guess The Sex of the CEO” game.

From the Sports Desk:

...is it just me, or does “German surfer” create the same cognitive dissonance as, say, “Swiss Naval Officer” or “Haitian chess player”?

In the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.:

...aren’t we glad that the U.S. doesn’t do titles?

In the Dept. of Health:

…

And, of course, there’s always some link-free 

 

 

And in a stroll down :

...well, let’s see what awaits the throbbing phalli of Teh Brits:

All together now:

♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “Run Britannia!  Britannia run away!” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

And that’s all the news anyone needs, I think.

They’ll never catch on.   Anyway, speaking of lies:

Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:

...because if all they spoke was the truth, there’d be no “climate change” doctrine, period.

...for “planet” read “Catholic Church”.

…

...and the Taiwanese yawn.  Also, F- for the fucking awful puns.

In the Dept. of Irony:

...black pot, meet kettle.  (Vince Foster and Jeffrey Epstein were unavailable for comment.)

In Technology News:

...[yawn] let me know when they come in .45 ACP.

From the Tourism Bureau:

...thus making Europe’s most expensive hotels now stratospheric.

In Political News:

...and yet, amazingly, in that 11-day period he’s still managed to vote fifteen times, three times each per bill.
#TypicalDemocratVoting

...I’m hoping for a higher death toll, myself.  (no link because PPV)

...I’m just amazed that there’s a Target still open in St. Louis.

From the Dept. of Health:

...and he was related to her.
#ScourgeThenExecute

And from the Dept. of Education:

...because grades are so, like, rayciss.

...in which we play our ever-popular game of “Guess The Race”.

...or even with young boys.

In the department known as 

     

Finally. on Paige Three:

...let’s see what’s so bad about this bikini, shall we, that FecesBook is getting agitated:

Nope;  not much more to see here (other than the usual).  And from the recently-finished tournament at Augusta National:

You most certainly can, sweetheart.  And that’s the news.

So let’s look at the news, which will also cause you to break wind.

From the Dept. of Health, Nutrition and Religion:

...tastes like shit, is bad for you:  just like vegans themselves, I’m told.

Speaking of religions:

…

And while we’re on the Jew-Hate train of thought:

...wait:  sexual activity?  If looking at those Holocaust pics gives you a woody, you need help.

From the Dept. of Education:

...this all started when the courts decided that illegal immigrant children were entitled to free state education.
#DontCare #ReapTheWhirlwind

...Go Huskers!  And while we’re there:

...sadly, only in rural areas, where there isn’t too much danger from random assholes.  In the city schools, however, where there IS that kind of danger, the schools need to rely on the cops.
#UvaldeAgain

Still with the kiddies:

...but but but…isn’t underage sex illegal!  You mean making something illegal doesn’t end the problem?

From the Lawn Order News Desk:

...and of course he will;  in 2050, when it’s used against his side.

...at gunpoint, perhaps?  I think he just means “run them over”. [/Insty]
#NudgeNudgeWinkWink

And The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues apace:

...promises made by government, promises not kept by government.  Welcome to the U.S.A.
#CivicsLesson

In the Romance Dept.:

...errrrr no, I think you’ll find it was actually the heroin.
#AutopsyReport

And now for some linkless 

         

And living in :

...actually, she’s always been kinda fond of the sparkly dress stuff:

And on that powerfully-erotic note, we end the news.

And if ever we needed beer:

...I don’t wanna say “I told you so!!” but…

And completely unrelated to the above:

...no, you shouldn’t buy “an” AR-15.  You should buy at least two because, as the old saying goes, “Two is one and one is none.”  Three would be better, and four (one or two for you, and a couple for your friends, if needed) is just dandy.

Some International News:

...wait:  Japan’s getting upset by this?  It has to be bad.

...not so nice when it happens to you Arab assholes, is it?
#Payback

...and then were promptly arrested for destroying an endangered species, I bet.

Some Murkin News:

...name ONE, asshole.  Get specific.

...did they overturn Kelo?  No?  Then nobody cares.

...priorities:  they’re important.

And in the Dept. of Education:

...it’s called “free enterprise”, guys;  leave her alone, dammit.  Also, keyword:  Houston.

In Business News:

…

And now, ’tis time for  

...welcome to the boys’ club, honey.

And on that note, it’s time for our little journey down  :

Unlike the news, that’s just the way we like it.

Starting off with Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...or, “How To Fuck Up A State, just Like Gavin Newsom Does”.

...unexpectedly.  Lessee:  cars that nobody wants, “renewable” energy sources that don’t work, “green” infrastructure that is more harmful than what it’s replacing… can’t imagine why people would want to bail on it all.

And in more Economic News:

...FJB.

From The Swamp:

...yeah, but they’ll find some way of bringing the fucking thing back to life.  You heard it here first. (UPDATE:  told you so.)

From Police Files:

...cops planting evidence?  Say it ain’t so.

...also to be found in the Dept. Of The Blindingly Obvious.

...in Chicago, that is a routine traffic stop.

From the Dept. of Education:

...forget it, Jake Glenn;  it’s California.

...perhaps the WashGov should ban horny teachers instead of natural gas?  Just a thought.

...nature studies, so to speak.  Very educational.

...I remember back when the Nazis referred to Physics as the “Jewish” science.  Oh how we laughed at them, the idiots...

...from Glenn’s mouth to God’s ear.

In the Hearts Of Stone Dept:

...on the one hand, it could be said that OLAS was really looking after him (not);  but on the other hand, maybe he was one of those priests (if you know what I mean), and just got what he deserved...

And in today’s 

   

And in :

...apparently, they signify something or other (see link).

I have to say that I find her kinda plain-looking (like Lady Gaga?).

And that’s the news.