Category: Bad News

Let’s get on with it:

...combining mythology, fantasy, superstition and bad grammar all in one headline. (And no, there’s no link… are you kidding?)

Speaking of superstition, here’s the latest from the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© Dept.:

…

…okay:  I’m no fan of this foul broad but even I’m on her side here.  Considering that she was only blowing/shagging her hubby, I don’t see how this qualifies as “prostitution”. [#KillAllGovtLawyers]

...FFS, when she’s not incoherent, she’s moronic.

...and hundreds of DMV employees flock to volunteer for the jobs.

...soon to be followed by a massive increase in the murder rate as the scumbags no longer face the chop.  You heard it here first.

...keyword:  France.

...and to everyone’s amazement, her album shoots to #2 in the charts the week afterward.

From Captain Obvious, Inc:

...in another report, actual sex is apparently more enjoyable than phone sex.

...and the media are still bemused by the fact that most Americans hate, fear and distrust the Fibbies.

And in some truly magnificent INSIGNIFICA:

 

Finally, some Good News.

...the only way this show could get any better would be if Lisa Hogan (51) were to be filmed in the nude in each episode:

 

I mean, she is Irish, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem for Clarkson.

So on with the news… ugh.

...wait till they see 2023‘s numbers.

...next step?  I know: let’s press-gang some of those illegal immigrants!  What could possibly go wrong?

...I know, it’s terrible when 99% of a population gives all the rest a bad name.

In Crime News:

...”gun dealer” in Britishland being a worse sobriquet than “child molester”.

…

...given that the D.C. locals elected a bunch of “soft-on-crime” officials, one is almost tempted to cook up a bowl of popcorn.

...To Serve and Protect*
*unless we’re a bunch of fraidy-cats.  [/Uvalde cops]

...should have just offered some of the council members a kickback from the loot;  problem solved. [/South Africa]

...I dunno;  she’s kinda hot, so:  her own TV reality show, a multi-million dollar book deal, an OnlyFans account?  This is Biden’s America, after all.

...hmmm a vegan saying that narcissism is A Bad Thing?  How droll.

In Travel News:

...keywords:  Newark (NJ) en route to Dublin (IRE).  Like Manchester to Malaga, only with less class.

Time for a small helping of INSIGNIFICA:

 

 

Finally:

...my guess is that it’s not that often, but whatever.

And that’s the end of the bouncy-bouncy news.

Today is hereby proclaimed as SEX NEWS DAY (because I’m sick of all the other shit).

...key word: Romanian.

...there are Southern Baptist biker gangs in Britishland?  Who knew?

...only a cousin?  They should just move to Mississippi.

...when “horny bastard” is translated into New English — “untreated sex addict”, my aching nuts.

...keyword:  Virginia?  This should play well with the voters [/sarc];  unless her district includes Alexandria, in which case all bets are off.

...”sexual health doctor”?  Which medical school offers this speciality?

…

From the Dept. of Sex Education:

...not a bad idea;  it’s not like anyone is going to snitch on them, after all.

...judging by her pic, the “miracle” is that the kid could get it up in the first place.

...#Catholic Church

...wait till you see the pics.

...but she’s okay with having orgasms with other guys, for money?  I got nothing.

And in (link-free) SEX INSIGNIFICA:

  ...”granny grabber”, we got it.

...headline edited for clarity.

Must say, she’s a little light in the superstructure for me, but the legs are pretty good.

And into the carnage we dive:

...if by “trials”, Sarah means “mass hangings”, then I agree.

...using Commie money to bail out failed Commie regimes — sounds about right.  And right on cue:

...and speaking of failures:

…

...not included:  listening to anything that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says.

And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:

...of course, Africa collectively contributes nothing to the “problem” [/sarc], but that won’t stop them from hustling to get more money from Whitey.

...just another entry in the Climate Lies Journal.

And speaking of that thing:

...yet another example of “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

...I dunno;  I would say that vodka is a more essential part of the “college experience” than 90% of professors, and just behind condoms.

...actually, for any nation’s crime.

...key word:  Canada.  (Okay, India.  Fooled you there for a minute though, huh?)

...whatever punishment she suggests, under the Equal Protection Clause it should be inflicted on 99% of women.

...one might say the same thing about having a conversation with women.

...nice to know that it’s not only Murkins and Brits who can be “asshole tourists”.

In today’s INSIGNIFICA:

       

...why anyone should be interested in this fat old tart’s sexual preferences is beyond me.

By the way, if you know what she looks like, you’ll have this reaction to a visual of her in “reverse cowgirl”:

Finally, a heartfelt “Welcome back!” to Paige Three News:

...share it with us, baby:

I think we can end the slaughter there.

Speaking of pineapples:

...yeah, that’s the ticket:  cash to furriners’ wars instead of to disaster-struck Americans.  Speaking of morons:

...clearly, he’s sick of being governor.

…leave it off, KMac.  By the time you’ve marshaled the lawyers, got it though the House only to have it voted down by the Senate, he’ll either be dead of old age, totally ga-ga or else Clintoned.

In Political News (Brit Edition, no links because irrelevant):

...yeah, and if you idiot Brits vote him into power, every single promise he’s made will be broken, and you’ll still be bent over the desk.  (Afterthought:  Britain still makes steel?  Who knew?)

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:

...lessee:  Africa’s principal exports (so far):  AIDS, West Nile virus, millions of criminal “asylum seekers”, hurricanes which flatten the Caribbean and eastern U.S., radical Muslim terrorists and now, searing heat to the U.K.  And people still wonder why I want to let the whole fucking continent sink.

...you don’t say.  Electrical systems short out and catch fire when submerged under water, who’d a thunk?

...wait, it wasn’t Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©?

...you had me at “Biden” and “no real intelligence”.

In the Dept. of Totally Bloody Useless Anti-Crime Measures:

...the Britcops being still too busy checking the Internet for hate speech.

...wait, he was arrested in NYC?  Clearly, Fake News.

From the Department of Education:

...and they said the Age of Romance was dead.  And finally:

...as opposed to the 95% online garbage that’s been generated by humans so far?

And now, ’tis INSIGNIFICA time:

 

...maybe if she filmed every scene in the nude, I’d watch it.

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The above is actually a personal endorsement.  I had lunch there on one pf my road trips a while ago, and the food was outstanding.  Can’t remember where it was, though:  just outside one of those redneck speedways in the South (Bristol? Martinsville? Darlington? whatever).

...next:  suing cutlery makers for making knives so easy to stab with.

...so that’s why they’re not going to build any more nuke power stations, then?

...sounds presidential.  As opposed to:

...seems like the hurricane hit the wrong part of Florida.

...in which we play the “Guess The Race” game once again.

From the Department of Education:

...keyword:  Canada.

In the battle of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:

...keyword:  again, Canada.

...keyword:  Australia (lol you thought I was going to say “Canada” again, dint ya?)

...it didn’t really matter who had deckchair rearrangement duty on the Titanic, either.

...even more shocking:  she wasn’t their schoolteacher.

...if only he hadn’t picked the farmer’s favorite.

And talking about cow-shaggers and dead-horse floggers:

…

...for three days a year.

...I’m just amazed they had the staff left over to do some actual policing, what with all the parent harassment, Internet snooping and crazed gunman avoidance.

And in (guaranteed link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

…dunno why she was worried:  she’s always had far better tits than the skinny and bulemic Lady Di.