Category: Bad News

...looks like the fix is in.
#California #NoSurpriseThere

And:

Justice Department uncovers hundreds of Washington
registered voters it believes may be noncitizens
...see California, above.

However:

Complaint urges Texas officials to investigate more than
1,000 duplicate voter registrations in south Texas
...fucking hell.  I don’t feel good about this.

...as if we needed any more proof that she’s delusional.

...only two versions?  I fucking wish it were that simple.

...and nobody cares, as long as the environment is protected… right?  Oh, wait...

Study Finds Paper Straws More Harmful
to the Environment than Plastic
...well, well, well… guess it’s back to plastic, then?

...I wonder if these self-important twats realize just how ridiculous they appear to ordinary people.

...I dunno.  Was it perhaps the pallets of $100 bills shipped over to Teheran in the dead of night that gave the game way?

...Mexicans.  Not kidding, either.

...yeah, good luck with that.  Whatever it is, it won’t work;  you heard it here first.

...no doubt causing confusion among the band’s many retarded ‘fans’.

...sorry, I’ve never heard of her either.  Maybe she’s an A.I. creation.

...yeah, try peddling the fear thing somewhere else.  We’re done with it.

...to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

...curfews being about as useful as gun control laws for constraining the lawless.  And:

...yup.  Keep the pool clean and you won’t have bacterial outbreaks in the water.

...and if anyone thinks that this will result in lower utilities prices in Britishland, I have a NYC bridge to sell you.  Speaking of morons:

...final proof that prolonged smoking of weed can fuck your brain up irreparably.

...wake me up for the perp walk.
#NotGonnaHappen

...remember this incident the next time ICE agents shoot some asshole for trying to run them over.

...until the AfD is banned outright.
#EuroAssholes

Alfa Romeo’s New Giulia Shooting Brake
Looks Too Good to Be True
...it’s just a station wagon, FFS.  (Alfa Romeo:  manufacturers of disappointment since 1975.)

...in other news, Lee surrenders to Grant at Appomattox.

...well, so much for that approach.

...which would be one reason why White Brit women seem to be so enamored of African men.  And speaking of chicks who won’t cause erections:

...oh, joy.  She was horrible back then, and the passing of time has not made any improvements.  (No pics because mass vomiting.)

Airline passenger asked to tip 18% at
self-checkout kiosk
…#PayCashToAvoidRipoffsLikeThis

...I wondered where she’s been.  Hiding under several men, no doubt.

...finally, some body [sic] worth looking at.  [insert “fine vintages” line here]

...”French students are revolting!”  Well, yes;  ’twas ever thus.

...thank you, Captain Obvious.

...errr you might want to check with France to see how that’s working out for them.

Still on the illegal immigrants theme:

...and then they’d turn to crime, because how else to afford all that crack and heroin?

...ummm nazzo fast, Guido.

...never let the truth get in the way of a good story.  Especially if you’re an anti-Semitic cocksucker like Mamdani.

...probably because they’ve pussified the game with all those silly new rules recently.
#DickButkusSadFace

From the Great Clanging Brass Balls Department:

...I bet it was.  Even better:  he actually had a gun, but didn’t use it in case he shot the dog by mistake.

From the Stick To Playing Music, Asshole Department:

...hey Don, you greedy little shit:  your little band was just another country rock group until Joe Walsh joined you.

...hey Phil:  everyone knows that your solo music was never as good as the Genesis stuff, so go ahead and prove it.

And a little piece from the Grannies Behaving Badly dossier:

...at least she wasn’t doing them on the street, where someone might have got hurt.  Then there’s this sniffy poll at the end of the article:

Okay, that last option was my suggestion.

...that’s because he’d fallen afoul of the dreaded Witchcraft Lobby.

...got news for you, buddy:  it never does.  I was in Dachau in 2005, and still haven’t forgotten it.

...works for me, and I suspect, works for just about everyone except the farmers who’ve been feeding at the ethanol subsidies trough.

...yeah, they said it would be “free energy” (and it isn’t), and they said it would cause energy costs to go down (and they haven’t).  A pack of fucking lies from top to bottom.

Update:

Conservatives:

...lest anyone gets the wrong idea, here’s a reminder:

...ummm [insert something about the Supremacy Clause here]

...I think that when they answered the job ads, they didn’t quite understand the “job for life” offer.

...I just wonder how he managed to fit those two GIANT BRASS BALLS into that lil’ rowing boat.

...you know, if she wanted to get smacked around and punched in the face, she could have just married a rapper.

...and if they’d just stuck to the old inconvenient Sony Discman and a CD collection, they wouldn’t be having this problem now, would they?

From the Sweeney Files:

...I hope she makes more than a hundred jillion dollars out of all this exposure [sic], just because all the Usual Harpies On The Left™ hate her for being beautiful and conservative.

...typical Socialist:  if you can’t win elections, change the voting rules so that you do.

...remember, comrade:  Marxism dictates that all property belongs to the State.

And for a parallel development in Krautland:

...typical Marxist playbook:  create a crisis, then “fix” it by stepping on the rights of others.

But back to Blighty:

...yeah, never mind all that “will of the people” nonsense;  the Party knows best.

...I’m trying to think when this wasn’t Labour Party policy — or the Conservative Party’s, for that matter.

...next step for Labour:  nationalize the bourgeois banking system, because that’s working so well for the ChiComs, after all.

...I’m struggling to think how it could get any worse than the current system.  And speaking of immigrants:

...begging the question:  “Why was he released in the first place?”

...as Labour’s “NetZero” policies come home to roost.

...keep milking the People to pay for the system:  once again, Marxism rules. Also:

...which would be most Brit city households, of course.  Both the above and this move have, as their unstated goal, the abolition of privately-owned transport.

...hard to see how Britishland will stop the next Argy invasion of Las Malvinas, isn’t it?
#GuttedMilitary

In Real Estate News:

...ah yes, Burnham’s “mansion tax” at work, in the world’s most overpriced residential market.

Finally, in the Police State of Britishland:

...ya think?

...because the Union Jack is a symbol of intolerance and racial hatred, you see.  Unlike the Palestinian flag.

And in the Colonies:

...because that patriotism stuff is so intolerant and racist, you see.

And to end this summary, a moment of sanity.

...I know the question on everybody’s lips:  “Is the tree okay?”

...there was a time when the visual of Susan Sarandon in handcuffs might have been quite titillating [sic], but sadly, no more.

...just in time to be banned, of course.

...what is this “international ordure” everyone keeps talking about?

...wow, not even caused by a) Glueball Wormening or b) Donald Trump?  How did that happen?

...the “Democrat” in the headline is totally redundant, but I guess this bill would end all those drive-by BB shootings in his neighborhood.  Also: opthalmologists would be hardest hit.

...I’m guessing that the ChiComs make their own pagers.  Anyway, Trump says it’s bullshit, so make your own decision about this.

...all together now:
♫ ♪ ♫ ♪The stars at night
are big and bright ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
[clap-clap-clap-clap]
…and y’all know the rest, of course.

From motorcycles to booze, US ban on $1 billion worth of Canadian imports goes into effect
...never cared for Canadian Club (and never heard of any of these brands), Molson’s is shit beer, don’t like the taste of maple syrup;  so yeah, whatever.

Finally, from the Pussification Chronicles:

...bloody hell, it’s bad enough that men have to pay for those overpriced geegaws without having to make wifey happy by queuing to buy them as well.
#GheyBritMen