Here’s one that got me giggling:
Donald Trump will not be given the honor of addressing Parliament during his state visit as Emmanuel Macron did this week, The Telegraph understands.
The date of the US president’s trip is being deliberately timed for mid-September, when there is a parliamentary recess, handing the UK an excuse for not offering the speech.
Mr Trump is also not expected to visit Buckingham Palace, which is being restored, or enjoy a ceremonial carriage ride down the Mall in London – features of many past state visits from world leaders.
I’m sure the “deliberate timing” was to prevent Trump from embarrassing the Labour Party with his normal “fuck you” style of speaking in the Commons, and his uncomfortable (to them) habit of telling it like it is, e.g. “You assholes locked up an old lady for an angry tweet? WTF?”
Never mind. I’m sure his press conferences are going to be epic — if the Brits allow them to be published or aired, that is.
The only way this could be more fun is if the Brit government were having ArgyPres Javier Milei and EyetiePM Giorgia Meloni over at the same time, for a threesome (so to speak).