Great Excuse

Imagine how this little story would have ended, had the sexes been reversed:

A wife who stabbed her husband in the chest for falling asleep while she was talking to him has been spared jail after her victim told the judge the attack was a ‘one-off’.

Canterbury Crown Court was told how Deborah Stallard carried out the attack after becoming ‘irritated’ when her husband Barrie had appeared to fall asleep when she began talking about her life problems.

Mr Stallard required emergency medical treatment for the stabbing, but asked the judge at a sentencing hearing on Friday not to put his wife behind bars — blaming the violent outburst on her menopausal symptoms.

Oh sure:  the always-reliable “menopause” defense.

Note that she didn’t just prick him with a knife;  she stabbed him hard enough to be hospitalized.  That’s some kind of “irritation”, you betcha.

Of course, nobody’s talking about how she could have used other, less-injurious methods — e.g. shaking or even (gasp!) slapping the guy awake — but because Teh Change is involved, Madame is spared the consequences of her actions.

And by the way:  Barrie?  You’re a fucking pussified twerp.

Quote Of The Day

Seen here:  Progressive Culture and the Crisis of the American Male

These were all humiliation rituals… struggle sessions aimed at traditional American men and their favorite pastimes. All of them engineered and prosecuted by the Progressive Left. And they are working precisely as they were intended, which is to say badly, for American men.

And really: ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “It was twenty years today” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ (or thereabouts) that someone wrote this.

I still prefer my trenchant description.

Writer Loses Balls

…and to his own daughter, no less:

Four Weddings and a Funeral writer Richard Curtis says he was ‘stupid and wrong’ for the way he wrote about women and joked about people’s size in his films after he was confronted by his own daughter.

Curtis, 66, says he regrets much of his work and he was ‘unobservant’ and ‘not as clever’ as he should have been.

The comedy screenwriter poured scorn over many of his films and said he would never use the words ‘fat’ and ‘chubby’ again.

Oh FFS.  One of the best parts about the achingly-funny Four Weddings  movie was that I could recognize every single one of those appalling female characters in girls of my own acquaintance.  I had also been to weddings of similar ilk several times — okay, nobody actually died of a heart attack during any of them, but someone in the bridal party did noisily puke her guts out during the groom’s speech, which surely qualifies.

Also, one of the main attractions of Four Weddings  was the realistic dialogue — once again, I’ve heard people say things precisely as they were uttered in the movie, only with a South African accent.

Four Weddings And A Funeral  was of its time, people actually spoke, thought and behaved like that, and it saddens me to no end to think that its creator has forgotten the whole point of the satire he so wonderfully wrote.

All because his pissy little woke daughter objected.

Fighting Off The Bully

Apparently, dogs attacking people is becoming a thing in Britishland.

Here’s one to make you wonder:

Fighting off an XL bully is nearly “impossible,” according to a martial arts expert. Self-defense tycoon Matt Fiddes, 44, has called for a ban on the beasts and said that if anyone finds themselves confronted by one then do your best to run away.

Run away from a dog?  Yeah, that’ll work.  The exercise will just make him hungrier.

Of course, Over Here we don’t have to listen to bullshit like this because we have recourse to fine tools like this one:


…loaded with your choice of .410 goodness (I’m kinda torn between #2 and #5, but I can be persuaded, in Comments):


Of course, the Brits could use pepper spray — no wait:  “Carry and use of pepper spray by common citizens is banned under Section 5(1)(b) of the Firearms Act 1968”.

What about tasers or stun guns?  “Stun guns are considered firearms, and as such are also controlled under the Firearms Act 1968”.

Looks like they’re stuck with:


…although they’re probably also banned under the “Dangerous Club Act 1968”, or something.

Sure must be nice to live in such a state of fear — hooligans, thugs, dangerous dogs etc. — all because of stupid laws.

I prefer living in the state of Texas, thank you.

Where Are They Now?

Via Reader Old Texan in his Friday email, I see this lovely little thing:

…which leads me to ask:  whatever happened to cap guns? 

I grew up with the things — I mean, that one on the pic could have been the one I had as a kid, except my gun’s ur-nickel plating was long gone through much pocketing and abuse.  And my poor mother had to deal with my constant nagging each Saturday morning (when I got my paltry allowance) to take me to the hardware store or drugstore to get five rolls of those excellent caps (which would last me till, oh, Sunday afternoon;  I haven’t changed much).

I’d assumed that they’d been declared illegal because eeeevil guns, and caps ditto because EXPLOSIVE MATERIAL!!!!  but I see that plastic ones (eeewww!!!), die-cast revolvers and even cap roll guns are sold through Amazon.  Sadly, the first two of these use “ring caps” which are terrible because boys can’t create mini-explosive devices out of them, as we did with the cap rolls when I were a Lad Of Extreme Mischief.  (I should point out that my Dad showed me how to do this, which says it all, really.)

But can you buy ring caps or paper roll caps through Amazon?  Silly rabbit, of course you can’t, no doubt because you have to fill out ATF Form #4376-5-3 or some such bullshit before such a sale can be “allowed”.

I think you can still buy the cap rolls at Tractor Supply stores and ring caps at Big Lots! (note: they are out of stock in both outlets).  But wait:  what have we here?  Aaahhh, Tin Toy Arcade to the rescue:

 

I have to say, though, that relatively speaking, those guns are Colt Python-expensive, for toys.  Especially when you can get the Real Thing for a little more than three times the price:

 
…and the plainer .22 LR-only version for little more than double:

…as used by Daughter as her first gun.

But let’s not go there.

I suspect, by the way, that societal pressure is forcing these lovely cap guns to be disappearing fast because We Cannot Allow Children To Play With Violent Toys.

What a load of old bollocks.

Therapy?

Oh good grief:

Will Smith has sought help in the wake of his infamous slap of Chris Rock at the Academy Awards.  Smith, 53, ‘has been going to therapy after the Oscars incident’.

Don’t need therapy, bro — just a testosterone injection will do the trick.

Bitch-slapping a guy for insulting your wife:  good.

Getting therapy to deal with fallout from said incident:  total pussy.

Be a man:  express no remorse and tell ’em all to fuck off.