Surfing on a bellyboard along the waves of Teh Intarwebz, I was struck by something, and not for the first time.
Readers of this corner will of course be familiar with golf hottie Paige Spirinac, who possesses quite possibly one of the best female bodies around, as evidenced in these pics:
Now here’s the thing. While young Paige’s derrière is by no means underrepresented, it’s not by any means over-large, e.g.
So why have huge buttocks become a thing?
Maybe the trend started with screechy pop star Jennifer Lopez:
… and was amplified [sic] by the awful Kim Kardashian (who has never been slow to ride a trend, so to speak):
It seems, however, that this trend has no upper limit — and I speak not of all-over fatties like Lizzo, but of “Playboy models” like this one:
It’s been decades since I looked at a Playboy, but if this is the trend of their models, it will be decades more before I do it again, if ever. Horrible.
Another example is “plus-size” model Ashley Graham, who despite having an exquisitely-beautiful face, has a backside that would fill a school bus:
Among African tribes, a large pair of buttocks is a feature of attractiveness, because it speaks not only of fertility but also of the owner thereof being well nourished (a source of pride for their husbands as providers).
But that’s in Africa. We live in the West, and have a European standard of beauty. And I speak not of ultra-skinnies and the like (that being more a creation of homosexual fashion designers), but of women who have proportional statistics.
Here’s actress Sasha Alexander, for instance, who has what I would consider a decent set of proportions:
Note: no inflated breasts, nor a bulbous backside. Another example? Sure, why not? Here’s the rather Mumsy-looking Laura Hamilton, who in in her forties and has two kids:
Let me say in summary that I’m not asking for women to strive for some impossible ideal of beauty: anything but.
What I’m asking for is proportion, and not grotesqueries.
And yes, I’m familiar with the contradiction of all the above, considering that pneumatic sexagenarian Carol Vorderman often appears on my back porch:
…as does the equally-balloony Kelly Brook:
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty face.