Okay, Then

Frankly, upon looking at the women who seem to be all up in arms about this issue, I don’t think they realize the actual value of the goods they’re planning on withholding.

Morality Tale

…and it is a tale:

“You now have the freedom to do whatever you want,” Williams told The Post about her revelation. “If you want to sleep with two men on the same day, you can. If you want to have a tryst in the middle of the day, you’re free. The only person who can judge you is yourself. And if you’re fine with it, screw everyone else.”

Apparently, her lust knew no bounds — she says she bonked eight men in that first year after her divorce.  Hence the “tale” bit.

I hate to break it to her, but eight men in a year is actually quite a low number for a late-40s divorcee, even a fairly plain-looking one like her.  I personally know one woman who bonked about three or four men a month after hers, and she did it for well over three years before finding a guy she wanted to stay with.  (I would have been one of them — I always had the hots for her — but I was living in another state far away at the time, and she told me her story after she’d moved in with The Guy.)

Frankly, I think I think our slut-wannabe New Yorker is telling a tale — the rule of thumb for most women who divulge their “number” nowadays is to take what she says, and double it — triple it if she’s a barhopping party girl.

So… sixteen in a year?  Not bad.  Otherwise, meh.

Working Off Debt

Here’s an interesting little morality tale.

My wife slept with our mechanic to settle a £500 bill we couldn’t afford to pay

We’ve been struggling to make ends meet ever since my wife lost her job last year.  My salary won’t stretch to cover our food, rent and energy bills.  That’s why we’re £2,000 in debt on our credit cards.

So it was the cherry on the cake when we were told our car failed its MOT last week. The mechanic told us his repairs would cost us nearly £500.  To add insult to injury it was obvious he fancied my wife.

Panicking, I asked if we could pay in instalments.  While looking my wife up and down he cheekily suggested if we didn’t have the money he could think of another way we could pay.  He said we could think about it overnight. Walking away, I asked her what she thought.

Her answer shocked me: “You know I’d do anything for us, babe.”

So the next day my wife went to his house while I waited in the car outside — it was the longest 30 minutes of my life.  I consoled myself with the idea that she’d be hating this as much as me, but when she finally emerged she seemed defiant and said: “Now I know I’m contributing just as much as you.”

It broke my heart and I’ve only got myself to blame.  Now she thinks it’s the answer to all our financial problems.  She even suggested I could manage her diary of clients.  I’m worried she even enjoyed having sex with this mechanic.

Well, that’s one way of “taking one for the team”, innit?

I actually feel sorry for the guy, because it seems to me he’s uncaged a tiger — and it’s small wonder, when all the Brit newspapers are full of tarts making X thousand a month for showing off their bodies and doing the dirty on prostitution sites like OnlyFans;  and in truth doing nothing on SugarBabies different from Mrs. Debtfire above.

It’s always gone on, only now it’s out in public.

I just wonder how these people account for the revenue on their tax return… because if they don’t, it’s called “tax evasion”, and the collection agencies (I mean tax offices hem hem) of both the U.K. and the U.S. respectively take quite a dim view of it.

Bedehr Gesocht

Alert Reader Mike M sends me this cheerful little piece:

A Florida man is facing criminal charges for alleged “lewd, indecent and obscene acts” aboard a Boston-bound flight.

Yeah, fine, whatever, Florida Man doing strange shit, nothing to see here, move along.  Until we read the very next sentence:

Donald Edward Robinson, 76, Bonita Springs, was arrested Sunday morning at Logan International Airport and charged by criminal complaint with one count of lewd, indecent and obscene acts.

Seventy-six years old?  Man deserves a medal, not prosecution.  Then further on:

Robinson is accused of masturbating and exposing his penis in front of a 21-year-old woman who was seated next to him.  The woman recorded a 24-second video clip of Robinson allegedly touching and manipulating his penis through his pants shortly after the flight took off, authorities said. Robinson allegedly then exposed his penis.  The woman tried to point Robinson out to a flight attendant after landing but was unable to point him out due to the number of people trying to exit the aircraft.  Security footage captured Robinson exiting the terminal.

Spoilsports.  As the title of this post indicates, we should all be so lucky to have such lascivious thoughts, so well past our threescore years and ten.

As Always, Behind The Times

In my normal bottom-feed from the UK Daily Mail  comes this item:

A couple from Redcar in Yorkshire are four months pregnant with their second child after using a sperm guide.

Shows you what I know;  I always thought a “sperm guide” was a classy term for a penis.

And then there’s this little snippet:

An Estonian women claims to be able to orgasm without any physical stimulation through the use of tantric yoga techniques and has taken a blood hormone test to prove it.

I’d never even heard of “tantric yoga” before (or if I did, I ignored it as some useless foreign shit).

Anyway, I’m starting to revise my opinion of my late mother, whose morals would have pleased Jesus, but who was also… a yoga teacher.  No wonder she was always in such a relaxed mood.