Top Picks

I wish we had more interesting surveys Over Here in Murka, but we don’t.  Here’s yet another one from over there, and a sample thereof:

Top 5 People We Wanna Bonk:

My top 5 wouldn’t include Margot or Kylie (Australians) or Emma Watson (Hermione).  My longtime restraining order  infatuation with Carol Vorderman is well known in these herrre parrrts, but girl-next-door Sandra Bullock has never really got my morals to begin their takeoff run.

As for the men… whatever, although the oily Paul Hollywood makes me want to punch him in the nose whenever I see him on screen.

Here’s another question from the survey:

Assuming that nobody’s lying about this (a big assumption), one out of ten people will be trying to shag someone else at the office Xmas party, assuming anyone gets to have a party this year (another big assumption).  Whatever that actual number is, I would be fascinated to see how many women are planning a little festive bonk, with hubby all unsuspecting.

No Double Standard

Apparently, rent boy-lookalike actor Paul Rudd has, at age 52, been declared the “Sexiest Man Alive” by some magazine (details unnecessary).

Predictably, Teh Womyns are going all whiny, saying that no woman age 52 would be considered for the appellation in their gender (because men are pigs and ageism is eeevil etc. etc. etc. oh FFS #KillMeNow).

Really?  I throw this open to my Loyal Readers, and ask them whether at least one of the following women (all of a similar vintage to Rudd) would fail to make their Top 5 Sexiest Women Alive, against the current crop of youngins (and all the pics are recent, no older than two years):

Salma Hayek (55)

Liz Hurley (55)

Nigella Lawson (56)

Caprice Bourret (50)

Nicole Kidman (54)

Monica Bellucci (57)

(I know, I know shuddup) Helena Bonham Carter (55)

And reaching back a few more years:

Michelle Pfeiffer (63)

Sela Ward (65)

Jennifer Tilly (63)

…and let’s not forget

Carole Vorderman (61)

Now I know that a lot of women of this vintage will have had some surgical restoration done — but guess what?  Men do it, too — especially in show business, where most of these “contestants” are drawn from.

Feel free to add your (50+) nominations, in Comments.

Funny As Hell

Apparently, some guy had an argument with his girlfriend, and the next day left her an “I’m sorry” offering of presents, along with a note which made me giggle like a schoolgirl:

“The chocolates are cos I love you.
“The flowers are cos I’m sorry.
“The Tampax is cos I’m still not sure why I’m apologising so I guess you’ll need these any day now.”

Needless to say, some people have failed to see the humor in it because, as we all know, no woman has ever been pre-menstrually irritable.

Of course, it’s only going to make things worse for him, as all experienced men will acknowledge, but it’s worth it.

Oh, and for those who think it’s “passive-aggressive”, what would you think if he’d just plonked down a box of Tampax and his note read, “Take one and call me in the morning.”

Now that’s  aggressive.

Oh, Why Not?

Executive Summary:  Single mother of four young kids has two jobs (barmaid and elder-care worker), but can’t keep her head above water financially.  Then she quits both, starts her own work-from-home business, and makes literally thousands per week.

Here’s the story.  I have no problem with this, but no doubt somebody will.

This is the lady in question:

This kinda follows on from my long-ago post about changing my position on prostitution.  If all she has are those outstanding attributes, and guys are willing to pay to look at them, then why not?

I just hope that she’s putting money away for the future, because as fine as those attributes are, they are very much a depreciating asset.