All-American Road Trip

I think I’ve tortured everybody enough with my various dream road trips whether in France, Italy or Western Europe in general.  There’s only been one in the U.S., but even that involved furrin cars and -women.

So am I going to quit?  Hell, no!

Today’s trip is going to be All-American, in that the choice of car and female companion will feature no foreign entanglements* of any kind.

The trip?

Actually, you have a choice there too:  U.S. 1 (and 1A where available) along the East Coast, from Miami – Bar Harbor ME:

…and U.S. 101 (the Pacific Coast Highway/PCH) along the West Coast from San Diego to Seattle:

The East Coast trip is nearly 400 miles longer, and if you wish, you could skirt NYFC (or add to your pain by doing a loop around Long Island).

You can do the trip north – south or vice-versa (please specify which), and at a time of year which suits you (do tell).  The only hard and fast rule is to avoid interstate highways wherever possible.  The goal is to keep the shoreline on the side of the car as much as you can.  You may go through any of the cities you wish, but you can also skirt those which would make you homicidal with rage (NYFC, LA, Boston etc.) while trying to deal with the traffic and congestion.

As always with these scenarios, assume you’ll have trouble-free motoring en route, and a (shall we say) willing partner of the female persuasion in the passenger seat, and she will be as pictured.  Also assume that you are of an age which would do the driving and overnight stops, so to speak, justice.

Now the fun part:  the cars and companions. I’ve tried to avoid listing any of the cars and the women in earlier posts, which has made it quite difficult.  Here we go, and remember:  no substitutions.

1. 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz and Angie Harmon

2. 1957 Studebaker Golden Hawk and Candace Cameron

3. 1957 Corvette and Katherine Lanasa

4. 1957 Chevy Bel-Air and Mary-Louise Parker

5. 1957 Ford T-Bird and Téa Leoni

6. 1954 Kaiser-Darrin Roadster and Marg Helgenberger

7. 1956 Chrysler Imperial and Daisy Fuentes

(*I know, Daisy was born in Cuba.  Shuddup or she’ll be replaced with Whoopi Goldberg.)

Let’s go a little earlier, car-wise:

8. 1935 Auburn 851 Speedster and Nancy Wilson

9. 1936 Cord 810 and Eva Amurri

10. 1932 Duesenberg SJ and Dana Delaney

11. 1940 Packard Super-8 and Lynn Russell

12. 1933 Lincoln KB Victoria and Lisa Edelstein

That’s my delicious dozen.  If you’re unfamiliar with any of the options, you know where to look (duckduckgo).

Oh wait!  A wild card!

13. 1958 Chevy Apache and

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Ginger Nuts

…that would be me.  Crazy ’bout them redheads.

Apparently, today is Kiss A Ginger Day (don’t ask how or why, I just report what I read SOTI).  Ordinarily I’m opposed to made-up holidays (e.g. MLK Day or Secretary’s Day), but I think I could bend the rules for this one.

Sadly, though, I’ll not be able to get into the spirit of the thing, for all sorts of reasons (including being married, and to a non-redhead withal, and not actually knowing any real redheads at the moment).  And my innate sense of self-respect (not to mention fear of los federales ) prevents me from just planting a smooch on the cheek of a random redhead I may encounter in the street.

However, I can play a game, that being:

Of the redheads pictured below, which ONE (as pictured) would you like to kiss above all the others?

And to make it interesting, there’s no chaste peck-on-the-cheek bullshit;  it would be a long, tongue-‘n-teeth affair which could get you arrested in twenty states.  Here they are:

Amy Adams

Ann-Margret

Angela Scanlon

Deborah Kerr

Gina Lollobrigida

Greer Garson

Cassandra Peterson

(a.k.a. Elvira, Mistress of the Dark)

Gillian Anderson

Isla Fisher

Jessica Chastain

Sarah Rafferty

Alicia Witt

Kathy Douglas

Maureen O’Hara

Lindsay Lohan

Jill St. John

Karen Gillan

Emma Stone

Maisie Smith

Patsy Palmer

Shirley-Ann Field

Kate Walsh

Poppy Montgomery

Rhonda Fleming

Perhaps the ultimate Ginger:

Tina Louise

And finally:

Just any old ginger will do, thanks

If I’ve omitted your favorite ginger, feel free to tell me all about it in Comments.

Just remember that Christina Hendricks isn’t a real redhead… if that’s important.

Lady Readers may go below decks, so to speak:

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