Why Rejuvenation?

Here’s one that got me thinking:

Scientists have found ancient [herpes] viruses locked inside Neanderthal bones that are 50,000 years old — and experts could be set to recreate them.  The team who made the discovery now plan to try and synthesize these viruses to see how they compare to modern ones.

Clearly, the modern, largely-incurable herpes viruses aren’t enough for us to deal with.

Okay, let’s have them explain themselves:

“These Jurassic Park-like viruses could then be studied for their reproductive and pathogenic traits and compared to present-day counterparts.” 

Actually, no.  The last fucking thing we need is to find out how they reproduced themselves.  Why?  Because once we do, the shit will be able to reproduce itself.

Wuhan, anyone?

The hell with that.  I’m very supportive of Scientific Curiosity and all that, but sometimes you just have to draw the line.

And frankly, if we’re going to bring old stuff back to life, what’s wrong with resurrecting the mid-1950-era Mercedes 300 SC?

They could be made in all pretty colors, with- or without soft tops, etc., etc.

Oh wait, I forgot:  that’s engineering, not !Science!

Still, I put it to my Readers that having the world flooded with fine 300 SCs would be far more beneficial to life than doing the same with a 50,000-year-old pox.

Feel free to propose other extinct things you’d like to bring back to the modern world;  but I have to warn y’all, I got fibs on crucifixion.

More Expert Bullshit

Oh, how we laughed:

It’s a mystery that has puzzled scientists for years, but one scientist believes he may finally know what’s behind the Bermuda Triangle disappearances.

The Bermuda Triangle is an area of the North Atlantic ocean near Bermuda, where several ships have disappeared over the years. Some have claimed that there’s a whirlpool hidden there, while others suggest that aliens may be to blame for the disappearances. But one expert claims that rocks may explain the mystery.

Speaking in a Channel 5 documentary, Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle, Nick Hutchings, a mineral prospector, explained: “Bermuda’s basically a sea mountain – it’s an underwater volcano. 30 million years ago, it was sticking up above sea level. It has now eroded away and we’re left with the top of a volcano. We have a few core samples, which have magnetite in them. It’s the most magnetic naturally occurring material on Earth.”

On the programme, Mr Hutchings then conducted an experiment using some of the rock and a compass. When the rock was placed on a flat surface and the compass was moved over it, the needle went crazy. This is due to the fact the rocks contain magnetite. Mr Hutchings added: “You can just imagine the ancient mariners sailing past Bermuda. It would be very disconcerting.”

…especially as said ancient mariners would have been sailing in wooden ships.

Not Trusted

Like we didn’t know this before:

The former head of the MI6 who was in charge during the UK’s invasion of Iraq has claimed scientists’ warnings about the dangers of artificial intelligence can necessarily be trusted because of incorrect claims they made about Covid-19.

Sir Richard Dearlove said that as ‘brilliant’ scientists had gone ‘off piste’ during the pandemic, he was sceptical of experts telling him AI will destroy humanity.

Uh huh.

But to take this to its Schrodingian feline conclusion:

I don’t believe what spooks tell me either.

See how that works?

Give ‘Em An Inch

…and they’ll take 1.6 kilometers.  Or not.

Longtime Readers will all know the hatred I have for the putrid metric system, whereby commonsense units of measure (inches, yards or feet) got turned into incomprehensible gibberish by (of course) the French, who shouldn’t be entrusted with anything other than perhaps wine- or cheesemaking, let alone a new universal system of measurement.

Here’s a lovely old article which goes into more depth on the topic.

And a miss is not as good as a thousand meters.

Wait A Minute

So we have this breathless headline:

MIT scientists filed two patents on a new, 2D material that’s stronger than steel

Ummm… I always thought that two dimensions (length and width) mean that in mathematical and scientific terms the figure has no thickness — no matter how thin, the third dimension must exist for the figure to have substance — otherwise, it’s just a drawing.

And the explanation in the article doesn’t help:

“Instead of making a spaghetti-like molecule, we can make a sheet-like molecular plane, where we get molecules to hook themselves together in two dimensions,” said Strano, in the MIT blog post. “This mechanism happens spontaneously in solution, and after we synthesize the material, we can easily spin-coat thin films that are extraordinarily strong.”

It doesn’t matter if the third dimension (of the “thin film”) is only a trillionth of a micron thick, or the thickness of a molecule, it’s still >0.

Is this some kind of new math, or did somebody send out a memo redefining the dimensions?

I’m relying on a Reader Of Greater Brain than I to explain this to me.