From Reader Ken S:
Hi Kim:
I saw this originally on Slashgear.com, and thought that this is the perfect intersection of affordable manual shift and adult fidget device. It looks well made, too.
As Mr. Free Market commented when I showed it to him:
“Genius. The perfect way to fuck with Gen Z.
Firstly, it’s a pen.
Secondly, none of them can drive a manual.”
The usual reminder: I get no kickbacks.
According to this rather lengthy video, Rolex is dropping hundreds of smaller Rolex “dealer” outlets and instead creating Rolex megastores in “prime” locations such as London (!!!) and Manhattan (!!!).
It would appear that the main reason behind this is that Rolex wants to protect their brand by limiting the number of outlets, dropping smaller stores (regardless of relationship longevity) so that they can control the whole “Rolex buying experience” and provide their customers with the proper treatment with fine ambience, better-trained staff and so on. Also, these larger stores can carry the extensive Rolex range that a smaller store couldn’t.
It all sounds well and good, except that the actual reason, it seems to me, is that during the sales spike caused largely by the Great Covid Panic of 2020, the people who really made money weren’t Rolex themselves but the profiteers who bought their watches and resold them on the “grey” market — and Rolex, like Ferrari, wants to keep as much of the market to themselves. (Same tactics, different product.)
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing. As long as there are people willing to pay the inflated prices of their products, then good luck to them.
My own personal take on the thing is that I’m indifferent because (regardless of any lottery winning) I would never be a Rolex sucker buyer in the same way as Ferrari would forever be outside my list of automotive choices (except maybe a Dino, although given the current price list of same… nah, never mind). Sorry, I’m no longer impressed by brand names, especially when the brand’s “value” is artificially pumped up by fools and suckers with more money than sense. And even more so when the brand operates in a commodity category like watches.
And finally, I happen to think that those big, blocky things like the Submariner are just… ugly. I’m not a scuba diver so I’ll never need one, and anyway, there are other watches just as good for half the price and a tenth of the Rolex attitude (once again, see: Ferrari dealers).
A pox on all their houses.
Even though I’ve pretty much decided that the Tissot Classic is my watch for life (background here), that doesn’t stop me looking around at other watches. And if I’m doing the Lottery Dream stuff, I look even more.
Here’s my problem (stop me if you’ve heard this before): my criteria are firm, and immutable. They are:
Then in my wanderings, I discovered Schaumburg watches, and I got excited. From the blurb:
Schaumburg watches have been produced since 1998 in a small factory in the idyllic town of Rinteln, in the Schaumburg region of Germany. This exceptional watch brand specializes in producing mechanical watches of high quality and attractive design. Every Schaumburg watch is handmade, which is why the company’s watches are true works of art. Schaumburg watches are exceptional in every detail.
So, to recap:
Try these two. First, the Unique 30:
…and the Unique 33:
I like that Industrial Revolution look, very much. Had they been around back then, I feel that Isambard Brunel would have worn one, without question. (They make IWC’s Engineer line look quite fussy, even effeminate.)
And each Unique is under the magic $6,000 mark.
Now… where did I put that lottery ticket?
After I talked about my favorite watch of all time — Tissot Heritage — a couple of people wrote to me to ask about the brand. (I’m astonished that people had never heard of the amazing company, which sells more watches than any other Swiss brand, period.)
Here’s Teddy Baldassarre’s take on the whole thing, and like his other discourses, it’s excellent. For those with a limited budget but are interested in a super-accurate chronometer, by the way, it’s worth noting that Tissot makes the cheapest such in the whole market, and its performance equals many of the (very) spendy models like Rolex.
(They typically cost between $800 to $2,000 depending on the model — but the chronometer’s action is automatic, and therefore of no interest to me, a self-winder devotee.)
Yer welcome.
Never having had the financial wherewithal to buy any upper-end watches, I’ve never let that stop me from looking at the market — just as not ever having had the money to buy a Ferrari hasn’t stopped me from looking at expensive sports cars and that market.
Yet even if I had the funds, I’d never buy a Rolex watch.
I know, Rolexes are (generally speaking) well-made timepieces and may be worth the moolah necessary for their acquisition. All the cool kids wear them — which is actually a negative for me, of course — but besides that, if you want to get a watch that will essentially last your entire life, the Rolex is a good bet. And of course, if your hobbies take you underwater, then Rolex reigns supreme. (If like me you’re unwilling to venture into an unfamiliar medium filled with things with teeth and murderous intent, then obviously this would not be a factor.)
But the reason that I’d never buy a Rolex is that they’re big, chunky and bulky, and while that may be the current fashion (another reason for my unwillingness), I’m more of the dress watch persuasion.
And of course, because I prefer a manual-wind over automatic- and quartz (battery-powered) watches is yet another reason. (Of digital watches we shall not speak: in other words, if you want to extol all the virtues of your $25 Casio-type watch, please restrain yourself because that just irritates me.)
Here’s a typical Rolex (I say “typical” because like members of certain ethnic groups, they all look the same to me):
Oh, and did I mention that I can’t wear metal bracelet straps because I have hairy arms, and the stupid things catch on and tug at the hairs until I rip the thing off and throw it across the room? (I know, the Rolex might survive such an action, but whatever.) It’s pretty much leather for me, in other words, and Rolex doesn’t like their watches to be thus equipped, so screw ’em.
Finally, like the aforementioned Ferrari, Rolex also plays reindeer games with potential customers, restricting access to certain models, thereby driving up the price and thus making them all the more “exclusive” (i.e. only available to the gullible and status-hungry). I’m not going to play that game, ever, in any market.
And for those who want something of quality like a Rolex but of sane pricing, here are some alternatives across all five popular Rolex models: Submariner, Datejust, GMT, Explorer and Daytona. I’m not in the market for any of the alternatives, of course, because they’re all still chunky and use metal bracelets straps. For the watch geeks on the same topic, there’s always Teddy Baldassarre.
My biggest fear is that my beloved Tissot Heritage model may one day break irretrievably, and I won’t be able to find a replacement. #Discontinued #OldSpiceFreshRedux
(yeah, that’s my hairy wrist)
At some point, Someone In Marketing thought that this design change would be a good idea for Roger Depuis watches:
I leave it to your imagination as to the average cost of a Depuis watch… now double it, and you’ll be closer.
I’m always reminded of the immortal words of another Roger, Roger Moore: “The point of language is to communicate your thoughts in the shortest possible time and in the clearest possible way.”
Now translate that into telling the time, and apply to wristwatches.