No Longer

Guy Stuff, Toys

I think I’ve outgrown this kind of thing:

Men who like watches are split into categories. There are those who delight in intricate movements, what writer and watch obsessive Gary Shteyngart once described as ‘a small city of silver and gold gears and wheels, a miniature three-dimensional universe in which everyone is running to catch the next bus’. These men turn their noses up at overly commonplace brands like Rolex, which makes in the region of one million watches per year. Their preferred marques are rare and meticulously hand-crafted by the boutique manufactures of Breguet, Patek Philippe and Vacheron Constantin. A highly collectible Patek Philippe model, the limited-edition Calibre 89 (the world’s most complicated watch, with 33 functions and 1,278 parts) sold at auction in 2004 for more than $5 million.

…and that’s possibly because as I’ve got older and the chances are getting increasingly smaller of winning a lottery that could fund such an obsession, the prospect of being a horologista (what?) as explained in the above article.  (I also detest this linguistic tic of turning words into ur-Spanish derivations, but that’s a topic for another time.)

Also, I have begun to prefer simple things —  a stick shift over a Formula 1-style steering-wheel button gear-shifter, for example — and as far as watches are concerned, this has coincided with finally finding the watch I’m wearing at this very moment, a Tissot Heritage Petite Second manual:

…which happens to satisfy all my needs in that it’s simple, inexpensive, not showy or a “snob” brand, and made in Switzerland rather than in some Asian sweatshop.

A funny thing happened when I first strapped this watch on:  in an instant, I lost almost all desire to own another watch — in fact, since that day I’ve not worn any of my other watches, and even in that lottery dream, the desire to own that Vacheron Constantin or Patek Philippe has almost disappeared.

My distant-#2 favorite watch is also a Tissot:

…but it’s driven by a battery (ugh) and the only reason I like it at all is that it has Roman numerals — that classical background is very difficult to shake off, let me tell you.  I wear it pretty much only when I’m going to do something that may cause damage to what I’m wearing on my wrist, and at about $200 retail (under half the cost of the Heritage), I’m not going to slit my wrists if the thing gets busted.

All that said, I understand the fascination that watches hold for men — it’s almost exclusively male, this watch fetish — just as I understand (only too well) what makes men lust after certain cars, guns, cameras or any of the countless number of gadgets that take our fancy.

And as with all such obsessions, price is seldom a factor unless it’s stupid — stupidity as defined by the individual himself and not the uncomprehending others.

I recently showed a Dino Ferrari with a half-million dollar price tag — which is, as I said at the time, stupid money for a Dino.  On the other hand, I see that Iain Tyrrell is restoring a Dino of similar vintage, and I estimate that the depth of said restoration will cost the Dino’s owner about a hundred thousand dollars — and for him, it’ll be worth every penny.

It wouldn’t be, for me;  but I sure as hell understand why it would be, for him — just as I understand why someone would drop a still-greater amount on a Vacheron Constantin Overseas model, like this one:

Lovely, innit?  If you’re into that kind of thing.

14 comments

  1. You can get them at the East Rand Flea Market for about ten bucks. My nicad powered Submariner ripoff was so accurate that the national observatory used to ring me to get the right time.

  2. What irritates me is that the current trend is for the watch itself to be enormous. It’s like having a giant heavy bracelet dangling on your wrist rather than a watch. I don’t want some piece of over-priced mechanical jewelry that just screams “look at me” all the time.

    I have an older and much more regular sized Citizens that keeps time and looks tidy. Clean looks and low weight, not cheap but not expensive. I also have a much more cheaper no-name for exercise. The Tissot you showed above looks interesting, nice and clean. Good style.

    1. I agree. These massive chunks on the wrist are quite a giveaway, especially if said wrist is of the hipster/girlyman-skinny type.

      Fine for a diver or even a pilot; not so fine otherwise.

      39-40mm is my absolute limit.

      1. Yup. Unfortunately I’m cursed with skinny arms and especially skinny wrists. Never mind that the muscle I do have is rawhide and barbed wire, it looks like I’d have trouble lifting a pitcher of lite beer. So yeah, small old-style watches are the only thing that look even halfway correct on my “girly” wrists.

    2. I hear you. My bride and I just recently took a cruise and a number of the shops on board were watch shops and the majority of them were these half to three-quarters of an inch thick gaudy monstrosities that didn’t look good to me no matter what precious metal they claimed they were made of.

      My grandfather bought me a watch for my 12th birthday and I’ve worn one every day since. My fancy dress watch is a very simple Citizen eco-drive watch which I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to adjust the time (not counting daylight savings start/end). My every day watch is a smart watch which doesn’t enter into this discussion (but even there, I keep the watch face simple).

      For me, a good watch keeps good time and demonstrates elegance in simplicity. The simplicity of the Tissot above is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about. If I want endless features and movements, I can emulate all of that on my smart watch. When I’m dressed to not detract from my bride’s beauty, an elegantly simple watch is all I want.

      I also like the Tissot shown above but since I don’t replace watches until they fail and replacing is less costly than repair, I don’t believe I’ll be replacing my Citizen anytime soon.

    1. …but for the rest of us who live in the real world, it’s sadly often quite necessary.

  4. I was never interested in the overly busy watches or the great big watches that are utterly gaudy.

    I prefer mechanical, hours minutes, seconds, calendar easily read with a simple clear face.

    JQ

    1. My Breitling Chronograph has served me well for 35+ years, but I no longer use the complex digital Chrono features since my phone does all that and more much better which does help battery life. Now it runs for 18 – 24 months before it needs to go to NY for a week As I recall they were available in different sizes. The smaller size face fit my wrist better. An oversized watch face is just going to snag on something and create all manner of unneeded problems.

  5. The watch bug bit me seriously several years ago, though to be honest, they’ve always intrigued me. I have too many now. The watch community considers them “affordable,” but a rational person might not.

    I view them as socially acceptable man jewelry that I enjoy looking at. My go-to watch is my Damasko DH1.0. It’s aggressively legible, and I use the timing bezel pretty much every day. I never leave for lunch on time, so it’s easy to time an hour with. I time things in the oven or laundry.

    (begin ramble) When oldest daughter moved out, she came to our house and started an enormous (3,000-piece? 5,000-piece?) puzzle, then lost interest. I decided for some stubborn reason that that puzzle was getting finished. The pieces left to be placed were all nearly (to my eye) the same color. I used the timing bezel to count how many pieces I’d gotten in a particular night.

    Anyway, it’s nice when you find just the watch you like.

  6. After losing an Accutron Astronaut by leaving it on the ledge above the wash-basin at one of the Marina heads, a gold plated Tissot with matching mesh band in an armed robbery the first day on a new job, and a Seiko chronograph at a race-track head after a long day on the track; I gave up on watches and just settled for the time-piece built into the phone.

  7. My Dad had a 1956 Omega Seamaster with a beautiful honeycomb dial that he bought new that I loved as a kid. It was in kind of rough shape and he basically threw it in a drawer. Years later I asked him about it and he gave it to me. I sent it off to Omega to be rebuilt and they did a fantastic job. It looks like new and runs, well, like a Swiss watch.
    I have a bunch of watches, but this is the one I wear almost every day.

  8. I wear a fitbit Charge5.

    Not only does it tell me the time, day of the week and date, it is rechargeable and runs 5 days between charges. It monitors my heart rate and sleep and all that other fitness jazzaroo, most of which I ignore

    It’s most important function is to link via the app with my fitbit scale and tell me I’m a fucking liar and I should grow up, eat less and walk more.

    It’s annoying to be told off by a little electron pusher that’s right, but unfortunately for my pride it seems to have saved my life.

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