Nobody seems to know who Sean Lock is in the U.S. (unless they watch stupid Brit TV quiz shows), but I for one am going to miss him, the sour, dark, cold bastard.

Question:  Does the full moon cause people to commit crime?
Answer:  No, it doesn’t.
Sean Lock:  Then why do I go out killing every month?

Sean Lock:  It’s amazing how many people will talk to you in a pub when you throw a pint of beer in dog’s face.

Question:  What is the traditional sport in which the contestants get thrown into a lava cauldron afterwards?
Sean Lock:  Show jumping.

Sean Lock:  I really wish they would.

Here’s Sean about Twitter…

…and relationships, and Glueball Wormening

…and political correctness, and why women earn less than men.

Anyway, Sean died of lung cancer last week, age 58.

Which makes the opening of this routine really ironic.

Real Enthusiasm

So why would anyone believe or have any time for a movie stuntman (!) talking about his favorite tanks?

About one-and-a-half minutes in, you’ll see exactly why.

Money quote:  “If you can’t afford a Spitfire, [an Achilles tank] is the next best thing.”

Absolutely brilliant.

Then there’s this caustic take on horrible British tanks by a man after my own heart.

Money Quote:  “It’s not really bullet-proof.  Except from a revolver.  For a while.  From a distance.”

I have never before subscribed to any EwwwChoob channel, but I think I’ll do so for The Tank Channel.


Her late father was easily one of the funniest writers in the English language;  her brother is a renowned (and very good) restaurant and food critic, and like both father and brother she is a graduate of Oxford University.  Unlike the other two male relatives, she is also a champion poker player and constant guest on cooking- and quiz shows on Brit TV, where she tends to overawe most of the other competitors (and quiz masters) with her frightening intellect and acidic tongue.  She’s also married (alas) to one of the most effete, yet funniest and angriest comedians on television, and I would pay a small fortune to have them both as dinner guests.

Her name is Victoria Coren (Mitchell), her father was Alan Coren, her brother is Giles Coren, and her husband is David Mitchell — and each one of those men is worthy of a post all to himself.  But they pale beside Victoria.

And I’ve had a massive crush on her for well over a decade.

Here’s one of the compilations from when she appeared as a contestant on the ghastly Countdown  series.   And then there’s QI, where she gets into arguments with the equally-intellectual Stephen Fry and Sandi Toksvig.

And here’s when she and her husband appeared together on Would I Lie To You?  (which is a hysterically funny show).

Class, intelligence, sense of humor, good looks. and a penchant for erotic spanking… ask me to explain again why I love her.


Can’t Go, Might Go, Won’t Go

Via Insty:

Dallas International Guitar Festival (DIGF) is back at Dallas Market Hall April 30-May 2. The world’s largest and oldest guitar show is excited to emerge from their cocoon after a year-long quarantine caused by the pandemic.

Fantastic.  I wasn’t going to be able to go because I would have been at Boomershoot;  but subsequent events made it possible for me to go this year.


Dallas Market Hall will still have a mask mandate in place during the event. Masks, along with social distancing, will be a requirement.

Fuck you.  I’ve been vaccinated, I’m sick of people telling me to do stupid shit when it’s all unwarranted, and I refuse to wear a face condom anymore, anywhere.  Maybe next year, then.  Or not.

As for this:

“[All this nonsense] will help on-site attendees and exhibitors feel more safe and comfortable attending the Dallas International Guitar Festival this year.”

And fuck their paranoia and need for a security blanket, too.

Just What We Needed

This is going to end well:

A UK technology company is inserting customised product placement into films and TV shows – even those that were originally released decades ago.
London-based firm Mirriad inserts products or signage, like a branded beer bottle on a table to a clothing advert on a giant billboard, into streaming content.

I know what you’re thinking.  But:

The company used its experience to make inserted ads look as realistic as possible – so viewers would never know they weren’t present in the original shoot.

Uh huh.  I can see it now:

Not to mention:


And even in our favorite classics, like The Devil In Miss Jones :

Is nothing sacred anymore?