Category: Morons & Idiots

Pure Comedy

Morons & Idiots, Politics

Fine, I know he’s the prime contender for the late Sheila Jackson Lee’s title of “Stupidest Person In Congress”, but even for him, this is rich:

Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA) said Wednesday on ABC’s “The View” that it was “hard to find someone better qualified in our history to become president” than Vice President Kamala Harris.

Ummm I can think of half a dozen, and that’s just since 1900.  (Okay, since you ask:  Taft, Coolidge, Hoover, Eisenhower, Nixon and Reagan.  Hell, Warren Harding was better-qualified than the DEI VP, never mind the lesser Republicans like the two Bushes.)

And if we go further back in our history… oh, Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Jackson, Lincoln… need I go further?

I would suggest that Schiff undergo a lobotomy, but I suspect he already has.

Stupid Is (Part Deux)

Africa, Morons & Idiots

Okay, there’s stupid (voting for a Democrat Socialist), very stupid (waterbombing Danny Trejo)… and then there’s ultra-stupid:

A Spanish tourist reportedly has been “trampled to death” by elephants in South Africa after he tried to get close to them to take pictures. 

If you look up the word “pendejo”  in the dictionary, that’ll be his pic you see, right above that of the Trejo Waterbomber.

I remember one time I was driving friends around the Kruger Park when we suddenly came upon a solitary elephant.  I stopped, of course, at a distance of about thirty yards.

“Get a little closer!” urged one friend (American, first time in Africa, in fact I think it was the first time she’d ever left New England).
Of course, I refused.
“He’s just standing there,” she said.
“See how his ears are flapping?”
“I know, it’s so cute!”
“He’s warning us off,” I said, and put the minibus into reverse.

Then the elephant took three giant steps towards us, whereupon I tried my very best to break the world speed record for reversing a VW minibus down a dirt road.  Even so, he got to within about ten yards of the bus before our acceleration took us clear.  Fortunately, the road was straight and after a minute or so the elephant stopped, flapped his ears at us one more time, and exited stage right.

I took the opportunity to turn the bus around, and got the hell out of the area.

One of the others managed to get a single pic of Dumbo, right before he got on the road and decided to shoo us off.


(in the very left-hand bottom of the pic you can see the car windowsill, to give an idea of how close he was, no zoom lens)

Get out of the car? Close to a herd with calves?

I guess the Spanish guy felt that he knew all about elephants, having done the African River ride at DisneyWorld where the elephants frolic charmingly along the river banks, rather than trampling people to death.

Afterthought:  phew, if the whole herd got in on the act as the report says, all that remained must have been some bloody mud with bone splinters, with pieces of El Stupido’s iPhone mixed in.

 

Stupid Is

Guy Stuff, Morons & Idiots

…and you know the rest.

I have to tell y’all, I am generally not a fearful man.  That’s not a boast, that’s a summary of my reaction to several (very) scary incidents that have tested me over my six-score years or so of adult life.

That said, if you told me that my next dare was to throw a water balloon at Danny Trejo, I’d back away whimpering and head to the bar.

I don’t care if he’s 80 years old.  I wouldn’t care if the lion you wanted me to tease with a stick was that old in lion-years, or assured me that the black mamba I’d have to kiss had been de-fanged.

Ain’t no way.   NFW.  Not Danny Trejo, no water bomb.

Yet some pendejo  did just that and gave Trejo the goods.

And was surprised when ol’ man Danny laid a big can of whup-ass on him.

Clueless

Marketing / Advertising, Morons & Idiots, Travels

Also in my Inbox, this time from American Airlines:

Bearing in mind that I live in north Texas and have pretty much all the heat I can handle (and more), which garden spots can AA be pimping?

#1:

It’s also known for its crime and tourist ripoffs.  Also, isn’t hurricane season just around the corner?  Pass.  Next:

#2:


Ah yes… NYfC in the summer heat.  Always a pleasure, in a place whose crime and ripoffs make T&C look like a bunch of complete amateurs — and that was before all the recent silliness.  As they say there, fuggeddabahdit.  Next:

#3:

In Texas terms, going to Florida in summer is described as “out of the frying pan and onto the gas ring.”  Thanks, but if I want heat and humidity, I can just step out onto my patio.  And finally:

#4:

Yeah, thanks.  If I want Mex street food, we’ve got a couple taco trucks that can be found the apartment parking lot every Friday and Saturday.  And… Aztec ruins, in Mexico City?  I thought the conquistadores  kinda leveled them.  But I could be wrong, as I may be wrong about Mex City’s crime rate.

Great promotion, American.  You utter dicks.

Working Well, Then?

Anti-Gun Nannies, Crime, Gummint, Morons & Idiots

Here’s yet another abject failure of Nanny Government and gun control:

One gun is being seized in London every day as gangs fuel a ‘vicious cycle’ of drugs-related violence, a Met commander warned today – as footage emerged showing officers finding a loaded weapon in a child’s drawer. 

Cdr Paul Brogden said more than half of shootings in the capital are related to drugs gangs or organised crime, with firearms being used to take out rivals or threaten people who owe money.

This is clearly fake news, of course, as the BritGov banned private ownership of handguns many years ago;  so this is doubleplusunpossible.

But we all knew it was a waste of time — well, by “all” I mean sentient people (of any nation) whose collective head was not stuck up its ass.

Not Shocking; Hilarious

Morons & Idiots

If this little story doesn’t make you guffaw with laughter, we can’t be friends:

This is the shocking moment a King’s Guard horse bites a tourist after she touches the animal while posing for a photo.  Video footage, which has gone viral on social media with over 855,000 views, shows the woman putting her hand on the horse’s neck while posing for a photograph.  The horse then swings its head towards the woman before clamping down on her saree.

My only regret is that it didn’t bite the fool woman’s tit off.  It tried its best, though.

Where do people get the idea that the world is their own personal little stage where they can do whatever they like, without suffering any consequences?

Update:  Heeeeeerrrre comes another one!  This time, Snowball got a good grip.