More Expert Bullshit

Oh, how we laughed:

It’s a mystery that has puzzled scientists for years, but one scientist believes he may finally know what’s behind the Bermuda Triangle disappearances.

The Bermuda Triangle is an area of the North Atlantic ocean near Bermuda, where several ships have disappeared over the years. Some have claimed that there’s a whirlpool hidden there, while others suggest that aliens may be to blame for the disappearances. But one expert claims that rocks may explain the mystery.

Speaking in a Channel 5 documentary, Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle, Nick Hutchings, a mineral prospector, explained: “Bermuda’s basically a sea mountain – it’s an underwater volcano. 30 million years ago, it was sticking up above sea level. It has now eroded away and we’re left with the top of a volcano. We have a few core samples, which have magnetite in them. It’s the most magnetic naturally occurring material on Earth.”

On the programme, Mr Hutchings then conducted an experiment using some of the rock and a compass. When the rock was placed on a flat surface and the compass was moved over it, the needle went crazy. This is due to the fact the rocks contain magnetite. Mr Hutchings added: “You can just imagine the ancient mariners sailing past Bermuda. It would be very disconcerting.”

…especially as said ancient mariners would have been sailing in wooden ships.

Amateur Drunk Day Warning

Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day, wherein all people with Irish blood more diluted than a ripoff bar’s house gin can get together and get shitfaced.

Also, there are the traditional parades in Irish ghettos like Boston, New York and Chicago to contend with.

I’m not “Irish” in any way, shape or form except on occasion that I have been known to enjoy blowing things up.  I hate corned beef and cabbage, Irish stew (just the mention of which makes me want to gag), their soda bread is inedible and I don’t care much for Guinness either.

Don’t even get me started on unpronounceable names like Aisling, Saoirse, Eoin, Eoghan, Líadain, Aoibheann, Aoife, Meadhbh, Caoimhe, and Tadhg.

Mr. Free Market has been known to opine that if ever there’s a 1,000-ft tsunami heading east from the mid-Atlantic Ocean, at least the doomed English will get to live a half-hour longer than the Irish.

Which says it all, really.

And that goes for their poxy holiday as well.

Let Austin Sink

Who could ever have predicted this outcome?

Texas’ woke capital, Austin, is in the midst of a policing crisis with over 300 vacancies and cops quitting because they feel disrespected, multiple sources tell The Post.

Another 77 officers are expected to retire before the end of March — on top of 264 existing vacancies, according to the Austin Police Association.

Austin Police Department’s staffing is so bad, 911 calls are being redirected to the 311 non-emergency number because there aren’t enough cops to solve crimes.

So… who could ever have predicted this outcome?

Anyone with a fucking brain, is who.

Which effectively excludes anyone who supports Austin politics, that is to say a large majority of people who live there.  Enjoy the apocalypse, assholes.

Coming Restrictions

Here’s yet another ghastly story about drunken passengers, the only surprise being that the flight didn’t originate in Manchester:

A British passenger has been arrested after starting a huge brawl on a Wizz Air flight to Crete, throwing punches at other travellers and even the pilot, holidaymakers said.

The mass fight started shortly after the flight landed on the Greek island and saw women and men injured in the melee on Tuesday night.

The passenger and his friend were badly behaved throughout the flight and his anger boiled over when he was told police would escort him from the plane.

Yup.  I can see the time when passengers will be required to take a breathalyzer test prior to boarding, and those over a certain limit pushed onto a later flight.

And then everyone will whine and moan about not being able to “steady their nerves before the flight” (what bullshit), when in truth, as always, the problem has been caused by fools.