Schadenböner Alert

You would have to have a heart of stone not to pee yourself laughing at this one, and I don’t:

Several Harvard University students came out quickly after Saturday’s terrorist attacks in Israel to blame Israelis for the carnage and support Hamas.

Public scrutiny fell on these individuals and now many appear to regret their pro-Hamas position.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has reportedly put out a statement requesting aid for the students whose first reaction was to stand in solidarity with the terrorists who raped, killed, captured, and decapitated innocent civilians.

”They may require legal counsel, healthcare, mental health support, financial aid, or mentorship to navigate these turbulent and uncertain times,” the statement reads.

The Harvard Arab Alumni Association has expressed concern for the students’ “immigration status and future career prospects.”

Deport those who qualify, and put the rest on food stamps for, oh, the next twenty years.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend to my clothing.

Dept. Of (Self) Righteous Shootings

Rule #1 when handling all loaded firearms, children?

Keep the booger-hook off the bang-switch!

Seems like this scrote didn’t get the memo:

A carjacker died after he accidentally blasted himself in the chest while trying to smash a window with the butt of his shotgun, an inquest has heard.

Officers investigating the death of Reece Ramsey-Johnson said they were satisfied there was ‘no third party involvement’ as they closed the probe into his killing.

Witnesses who saw the 22-year-old dying from gunshot wounds in the street outside a Lloyds bank in Sydenham on Sunday, September 8, said his own gun may have gone off when he used to to hit a car window.

Opening the inquest at Southwark Coroner’s Court on Thursday September 26, Dr Andrew Harris confirmed the police investigation had now ended.

He said: ‘The investigating officer is satisfied there is no third party involvement.

You may now do what I did when I first saw the report (and thanks to all who sent it to me):

Oh and by the way:  criminals are not allowed to possess firearms in Britishland, so this report may be Russian disinformation. [/eyecross]

Quote Of The Day

From some houri  OTI:

“I don’t have sex on Friday the 13th, it could end a relationship.”

…or end up in a relationship, depending.  Triskaidekaphobia  at its finest.

I’m reminded of the old Jewish question:  “What makes this day different from all others?”

In this chick’s case, probably that.

More Expert Bullshit

Oh, how we laughed:

It’s a mystery that has puzzled scientists for years, but one scientist believes he may finally know what’s behind the Bermuda Triangle disappearances.

The Bermuda Triangle is an area of the North Atlantic ocean near Bermuda, where several ships have disappeared over the years. Some have claimed that there’s a whirlpool hidden there, while others suggest that aliens may be to blame for the disappearances. But one expert claims that rocks may explain the mystery.

Speaking in a Channel 5 documentary, Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle, Nick Hutchings, a mineral prospector, explained: “Bermuda’s basically a sea mountain – it’s an underwater volcano. 30 million years ago, it was sticking up above sea level. It has now eroded away and we’re left with the top of a volcano. We have a few core samples, which have magnetite in them. It’s the most magnetic naturally occurring material on Earth.”

On the programme, Mr Hutchings then conducted an experiment using some of the rock and a compass. When the rock was placed on a flat surface and the compass was moved over it, the needle went crazy. This is due to the fact the rocks contain magnetite. Mr Hutchings added: “You can just imagine the ancient mariners sailing past Bermuda. It would be very disconcerting.”

…especially as said ancient mariners would have been sailing in wooden ships.