Oh, How Nice

Here they come.  First it was the tech companies coming to Dallas and Austin, now it’s the fucking movie people?

Hollywood stars are leaving Tinseltown behind to recast their lives in Austin, Texas.

What comes next?  Did you have to ask?

Yet even those accustomed to Austin’s growing pains have been stunned by the pandemic’s fallout, which rocketed housing prices by 43 percent in one year — the steepest climb of any major metro area in the country. Tales abound of home sellers being bombarded with all-cash offers the moment a property hits the market. During the first half of the year, 1,440 Austin-area houses sold for more than $100,000 over asking (versus 22 houses in the same period the previous year).

Here’s the good news, though.  Leaving L.A. for Austin is like jumping from a pile of dogshit into a pile of cowshit.

The homeless problem created by Adler and the city council has had a decidedly negative impact on the city and its residents. Crime involving homeless suspects has seen a drastic increase over the past two years.

To make matters worse, the “defund the police initiative” and the anti-police sentiment that has been encouraged by the far-left politicians that govern Austin have pushed an alarming number of officers to resign or move to other departments. Each of these factors has contributed to making the city less safe, but the city council and Mayor Steve Adler don’t seem to care.

Welcome to Los Angeles-lite, assholes.

Not Racism

Here’s another example of the stupid calling out the equally-stupid:

Bette Midler faced an angry backlash last night after ridiculing Melania Trump’s accent and calling her an ‘illegal alien’ while the first lady spoke at the Republican National Convention. The award-winning performer, 74, launched a tirade against Melania on Twitter in which she said: ‘Oh, God. She still can’t speak English.’
Midler was immediately branded a ‘racist’ and ‘xenophobe’ by critics including Piers Morgan, and accused of ‘dunking on an immigrant’ who became a US citizen after emigrating from Slovenia in the 1990s.

When faux  outrage is uttered, can Piers Morgan be far behind?  Let’s attack this quantum stupidity on all fronts, starting with the woman who got her start singing in the Turkish baths of New York.

Dear Bette:  after you reach a certain age, your vocal cords stiffen, becoming less and less able to speak in different tongues, so to speak, without retaining your original accent.  (The cut-off age seems to be about age 18 or so.)  That’s why it’s best to teach young children a foreign language as early as possible rather than attempting to do so as adults.  After nearly a quarter-century of living in the United States, for example, my own accent is irretrievably that of my native Johannesburg — for the simple reason that I was in my early 30s when I embarked on the Great Wetback Episode and my vocal cords were as stiff as boards by then.  I can imitate the occasional Joyzee or Texan phrase, but not carry on an entire conversation in the patois without sounding like an idiot.  (When speaking Afrikaans, however, my accent is perfect — no South African can tell if I’m Afrikaans or “English” — simply because from birth I grew up speaking both English and Afrikaans.)  So if the First Lady — who emigrated Over Here in her 20s — still has much of her native Slovenian accent, that’s why.  It’s not stupidity, Bette, and certainly nowhere near the level of yours.

Let’s move on to Our Piers and his ilk.  If I make fun of an Irish or Scottish accent, or (to be even less microscopic) a French or German one — which I frequently do — how can it possibly be “rayciss” when all members of the above, including myself, are of the same (sorta-Aryan) race?  It’s a simple matter of confusing “race” with “ethnicity”, unless we’re going back to the time when talking about the Irish or Spanish “races” when meaning ethnicity.  The problem for these dweebs is that there’s no pejorative term for ethnic mockery or chauvinism, so they have to get sloppy  and use the “eeeeevil rayciss” epithet.  It’s not only imprecise but incorrect;  but I don’t expect morons like Morgan to understand that.

And finally:  making fun of other people’s accents is about 50% of all humor, and maybe still more in my case.  I mock, with equal frequency and ferocity, the various accents which make up these United States and Europe — whether Joyzee, Texan, Frog, Kraut, whatever —  and that’s all fair game and funny;  but as soon as I be makin’ fun of Ebonics, nigger, or mock an actual African expression like “Aiiiisssshhhh, yehbo Bra!”  that’s suddenly OMG Beyond The Pale [sic] ?

Fuck that for a tale.  All these Wokesters and scolds can kiss my lily-white African-American ass.


Afterthought, for Bette Midler:  Melania Trump speaks five languages, while you speak only one, stupidly.

Enough Already

You know, there are people in the news who really shouldn’t be, because they’ve made themselves pretty much irrelevant to the world by now.  If they ever made a contribution to society, that’s now over and I can’t see them ever doing anything of worth or value ever again.  They are the grains of beach sand in society’s bathing suit, the stones in society’s shoe, the ticks on society’s skin.  As such, I don’t want to see or read about any of the following ever again:

  • the Royal Ginger and Duchess Caringslut
  • Gwyneth Paltrow
  • Hillary Clinton (unless she’s doing the perp walk in prison orange)
  • Bill Clinton (ditto)
  • any of the Obamas
  • George Clooney (unless he’s releasing a new Oceans movie)
  • Lena Durham
  • the entire Kardashian coven, and their assorted consorts

I will make an exception for impending imprisonment (see the Clintons above) or obituaries — maybe.

All these festering carbuncles have been in a media spotlight for too long (mostly undeservedly), and they need to disappear from it.  Hooked stick, yank off stage, toss in a dumpster somewhere, fade to black, The End.

Feel free to add your personal social irritants to the list.