Language Nannies

And then there’s this development:

Google has announced the launch of an “inclusive language” function to help users eliminate politically incorrect words and expressions. The feature is being introduced initially to Google’s “enterprise-level” users and will include both warnings and suggestions as part of Google’s new assisted writing features in Google Docs.
Typing in the word “landlord,” for instance, generates a warning the term “may not be inclusive to all readers” as well as the suggestion to replace the offensive locution with “property owner” or “proprietor.”

Similarly, Google takes issue with the word “mankind” and proposes substituting it with the more appropriate “humankind.” Use of “policemen” and “housewife” provokes a correction as well, and Google will urge replacing them with the gender-neutral “police officers” and “stay-at-home spouse.”

Curiously, the new software seems targeted only at a specific sort of communication infractions.

How nice.  Wait till this feature turns into “obligatory” rather than just “advisory”…

My message to Google:  take your wokist nonsense and stick it up your excretion aperture.

Oh, and fuck you.  And your poxy email.

Old News

Here’s a lovely one from Woke Disney:

Disney began an extensive review of its film library as it prepared to introduce the streaming service in 2019, according to a New York Times report. As part of the initiative, called Stories Matter, Disney added disclaimers to classic movies for containing “negative depictions or mistreatment of people or cultures.”

The Stories Matter team privately flagged certain characters as potentially problematic, with the findings distributed to senior Disney leaders, two current Disney executive told the Times.

One of them was Tinker Bell, who raised concern because she is “body conscious” and jealous of Peter Pan’s attention, according to the executives.  Captain Hook was another potential liability because he could expose Disney to accusations of discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities because he is a villain.

Disney also flagged Ursula the Sea Witch from The Little Mermaid, saying her dark complexion could be construed as racist and her flamboyant mannerisms could come across as “queer coded,” or homophobic.

Fucking hell.  There is just no end to this bullshit.

Anyway, I don’t know about Hook and Ursula, but Tink has always been problematic for Disney, especially at the hands of the brilliant satiric (satyric?) artist Julius Zimmerman (warning:  link is so NSFW you could face termination of the extreme kind, let alone just the loss of your job or your eyesight).

Disney is whizzing beyond comedy into self-parody faster than the speed of a single cartoon cel through a projector.

And Disney?  Your stories don’t matter as much as you think they do.

Entitled — Not

Here’s one that’ll make you shake your head:

Ringo Starr’s granddaughter moans to court she earns £800 a month in a café… while Beatles star is worth £265million

Note the sense of entitlement;  he’s got it, lots of it, and she should get some because he’s her grandaddy.  (Note that she’s one of eight grandchildren, the other seven of which we hear not a word.)

Of course, Ringo worked his ass off to earn the money (and to keep it;  remember that the Beatles broke up in 1970, and many a fortune’s been lost in less time than fifty-odd years).

Unsurprisingly (and unlike Ringo), this little totty is pretty much a drag on society, to whit:

[Ringo’s son Zack Starkey] married Tatia’s mother Sarah Medikides when she was born in 1985 – the first of Starr’s eight grandchildren.  In 2016, [Tatia] herself had a child with Adam Low, making Starr a great-grandfather.

So, to recap:  single mother in her mid-30s, mediocre musician, waitress, already coining well over a grand a month from Grandpa Ringo, and whining about the Unfairness Of It All.

Too sad for words.

By the way, here’s Granddad at age 75, still performing.  And his buddies are from the following bands:  Santana, Toto, Billy Joel, Mr. Mister, ELO, and of course there’s Mr. Todd Rundgren.  Not bad company… and Our Tatia probably thinks she deserves a spot in the band, ahead of (ahem) Richard Page of Mr. Mister.

Okay, I couldn’t stand it.  Here’s Africa, played by those same buddies.

Reason #472

…why I won’t use Microsoft Word:

The function produces a purple line beneath words or phrases it deems problematic while offering more ‘inclusive’ alternatives, and is included on the Office 365 version of Microsoft Word from 2019 onwards.

Recommended improvements to your usage:

  • Whitelist > Accepted List
  • Postman > Postal Worker
  • Mankind > Humanity
  • Maid > House Cleaner
  • Showgirl > Performing Artist
  • Master > Expert
  • Mistress > Lover
  • Manpower > Workforce
  • Heroine > Hero

For the record, I quit using Microsoft Office decades ago, for all sorts of reasons, among them:

  • Word has too many features that I can’t, don’t or won’t use
  • Excel is a shit spreadsheet program (Lotus 1-2-3 and Quattro were far better)
  • Don’t get me started about Outlook, ever since MS killed Express
  • None of the other Office products are of any use to me since I retired, and I preferred Paradox to Access anyway when I was still working
  • MS Office is WAY too expensive for its actual utility.

So I use Apache OpenOffice, which while it has a few drawbacks of its own, is at least free (Writer and Calc work just fine for what I do), and Thunderbird for email.

I remember pointing the Son&Heir at OpenOffice many years ago when he was at college, and he found it worked for all his writing assignments and math homework.  He’s been grateful to me ever since, and I don’t think he’s ever used MS Office (although since he moved to Global MegaBanc Inc. that may have changed, I must ask him).

So fuck Microsoft, fuck their wokedom and by the way, fuck Windows 11, for which I’ve started getting those irritating little spam pop-up messages.

Righteous Firing

Read this story and tell me she didn’t have it coming:

Stylist Lisa Thompson was collared by salon owner Luke Daniels after she turned up to work looking ‘untidy’ with unwashed, scraped back hair and no make-up and wearing leggings, a bobbly long black cardigan and flip flops.  The company owner handed her £100 to buy herself nice clothes and offered her a free treatment worth £150 to ‘enhance the appearance of her hair’.

But that’s not all, he wrote.  Follow the link for the full story.  Judge got it right.

I think I’m going to start a new department dedicated to all these asswipes who think they’ve been hard done by, when in fact they earned everything that came their way.