Category: Drive Time

Yeah, so Ferrari’s not-so-little Duracell car has been widely panned, e.g.:

..which is kinda what they did, I think.  (No pics because I refuse to be party to mass vomiting, y’all.)

Best comment is from a former Ferrari honcho:

“At least the Chinese won’t copy this car.”

As someone commented underneath:  “Somebody call the burn ward.”

For those looking for relative values:

And yes, I know they probably did it to bypass the EU’s version of our awful CAFE nonsense.  Don’t care.  The Loo-chay looks like shit — about the same as the new Jaguar Faerie model — and who the hell wants an overpriced kitchen appliance anyway?

I bet they sell a jillion because it’s Ferrari, and the tifosi arrivisti  have never been renowned for their brains.  They’re welcome to it.

Here’s the thing.  If someone pointed a gun at my head and said “Here’s half a million-odd euros, but you have to spend it on a Ferrari or we’ll kill you”, I’d spend it gladly.

But it would have to be a creditable threat.

In Comments:  which Ferrari would you buy under those circumstances?  (And for the last time:  I don’t care about your fucking ’64 F-100 or 2003  Adam  Toyota Corolla.  Play the game.)

I love videos like this one, where Jason Cammisa compares a bunch of speedsters in a drag race.  The best part?  All are nominally available for under $35,000 — which sticks in my throat, of course, but these are the times we live in.  The cars tested:

• Ford Mustang Ecoboost
• Subaru WRX
• VW GTI
• Hyundai Elantra N
• Mini Cooper S
• Mazda3 Turbo, and
• Toyota GR86.

All but the Mustang and the Mini have available stick shifts.  (No stick option on that Mustang?  WTF?)

Longtime, or even recent Readers will know of my abiding love for the old-fashioned manual transmission*, so the new double-clutch quick-change autos leave me unmoved… because I’m not interested in drag racing.

Come to think of it, I’m not interested in any racing;  but I tend to prefer rather more powerful engines over anemic ones, which is why I was interested in the video.

So:  if the above were the only cars I could pick from, which would get my dollars?

Probably the VW GTI, because I have a long and cordial relationship with VW cars in general, and the GTI is still acceptably quick (even though it got skunked in this drag race) and it has room to hold all my stuff (gun bags and cases, grab ‘n go bags, etc.)  I know that the latter was not part of the criteria for the video, but it’s one of my major criteria, so there.

I don’t hate any of the others, mind you:  I think they’re all pretty good cars, by and large, and wouldn’t feel hard done by with any of them.  A few are just too small for me (Mini, Subaru and Toyota GR86) and the Mustang is just too heavy (despite being the fastest of the above, by far).  But taken as a whole, it’s not a bad group of cars.

That Hyndai Elantra surprised me.  I had no idea the N model was a pocket rocket, but then again, I’ve never been interested in Hyundai ever since renting an Elantra for a weekend road trip and having my back and ass ache for days afterwards.  That was a long time ago, though, so maybe they’ve improved.

I kinda wish that Jason had included the Honda Civic Type R, but it fails the $35k criterion miserably so I understand.

*for the same reason I prefer revolvers to semi-auto handguns**, bolt-action to semi-auto rifles, and manual-wind watches to Duracell models:  I like to operate and control my machinery.
**yes, I know I generally carry a 1911 semi-auto, but if somebody said I had to carry a large-caliber revolver instead, I’d be perfectly happy with that.

Listen,  you bastards  Gentle Readers:  there’s little point in my taking a sabbatical when you keep sending me stuff which gets my juices running and such.  Here’s one example:

Reader GT3Ted sends me this via email:

Just to make you drool and brighten your day,  I thought you might be interested in the following link.

This is the catalogue for the upcoming auction to be held in conjunction with the Villa D’Este Concourso on Lake Como in Italy. Which car would you bid on given a Million $ Budget? (That budget limits you to only about 75% of the cars (230) in the catalogue.)

Broad Arrow Auctions_The Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este Auction 2026 – Catalog

Can I resist going there?  No.  Can I resist paging through the blessed catalogue and drooling over the examples of automotive gorgeousity featured therein?  Also no.  Would I go there if I could, if only to bask in the warm sunshine of Lake Como?  Yes.  Is Reader GT3Ted an utter bastard?  Goes without saying.

So here are the cars I’d look at (links only, because pics take too long):

65 Maserati Mistral Coupe — possibly my favorite Mazza model, ever.  See also the Spider version.  Oh, and did I mention the 3500?

56 Lancia Aurelia B24 S and another one — definitely my favorite Lancia, ever, although there is stiff competition from the Integrale HF.

93 BMW 850CSi — V12 Beemer engine, oh my.

73 Dino GTS — okay, on reflection scratch this one.  (I just cannot see myself, with any-sized budget, dropping half a mil on an entry-level Dino, even a pretty white one like this.)

Actually, once I’d stripped out all the Ferraris and Lambos (because #Gaudy&Horrible #AlsoWayTooSpendy), as well as all the RHD cars (Aston Martin and Skyline) there weren’t really many that caught my fancy, other than the above.

Feel free to explore and select your choices.

The first time I ever saw a SmartCar was over in Yurp, back in the early 2000s.  I loved the idea of a “city car” — still do, in fact — because living in downtown Chicago at the time, I could see its wonderful utility.

It made even more sense for Yurp’s teeny lil’ city streets.

For those of you who’ve only ever lived in the suburbs or on farms, it’s easy to dismiss the SmartCar as just a little toy.  For city dwellers, though, this is a godsend.

Yeah, it doesn’t hold much more than a driver and a passenger, or a driver and a couple shopping bags — but that’s really all you need in the city.  (For the record, both I and Connie could fit inside, but only if I pushed my seat forward because we couldn’t fit side by side #KimShoulders.)

And of course it fails the Kim Storage Test in that I don’t think you could fit a rifle case inside — although I never tested it because at the time I wasn’t shooting rifles that much #Chicago #NoGunRanges.

Also, at the time the SmartCar launched, there was no Fiat 500 on the market.  But now there is, and to me the 500 represents the ultimate compromise between “too small, really” and “still too small, but less so” or even “acceptably small, because you can fit a rifle case in it”.

All this was triggered by the news that the SmartCar is going to be relaunched, as a Duracell car only.  Of course, I wouldn’t touch one because a.) it’s going to be built (of course) by the Chinese, b.) because it’s hideously ugly — see the linked article but you have been warned — and c.) because I already own a Fiat 500 via New Wife, and see no reason ever to sell it.

But it remains a decent option for people living in tight spaces — hell, at least it gives protection from the weather, which is more than its competitor does.

Jay Leno looks over what I think is the most beautiful car I’ve ever seen — much prettier than any Dino 246 — and talks to the guy who created it.

And the drive… that engine sound made all sorts of my body parts start to swell and stuff.  Basically, the guy made an E-type that is what Jag should have made but didn’t, either because the cost would have been prohibitive or else the technology was unknown at the time.  What he has now?  Phwooaaaaarrrr.

Exquisite.

…that you were in your thirties back in early 1980-85, and had a job that required you to drive about a hundred miles a day, every weekday — let’s go back in time, and imagine that you were what they called back then a “traveling salesman” and had to call on both existing and new customers in a fairly large sales area.

Let’s also stipulate that this job was somewhere that required driving in non-urban traffic (perhaps in the Midwestern states, or maybe the rural Northwest or Northeast), so not in LA, NY, Chicago or any of the other metropolitan cesspits.

Clearly, this would require a car that was reliable, comfortable, could handle hot and cold weather and was large enough to carry samples.  So the company accountant took you aside and said, “Here’s $15,000 dollars;  go buy yourself a decent car.”  (Note that no company accountant was ever going to give you enough for a Merc or the like;  you’d probably be stuck with a Murkin car or one of the minor Euro, Japanese or Scandi brands.  For reference, a 1984 Olds 98 would run you between $14k and $15k back then.)

So:  to which dealer would you be going, and what car would you get for yourself?

Feel free to give reasons (because I know you will).

My choice below the fold.

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