Take Yer Pick

Well, you were about to catch a flight out of St. Louis after having sold your company to a bunch of Missouri bankers, but Al Qa’eda / ISIS / Hamas blew up the airport, fortunately before you got there.

With the concomitant chaos, you figure that your best bet to get home is to drive there, wherever “home” is.  But you’ve got a large check in your briefcase, and as it happens, you come across Daniel Schmitt & Co, a purveyor of fine cars to the discerning customer — so you think to yourself, “What Would Kim Do?”, and of course, Kim would take some of that money and buy a decent car for the drive home.  Especially when Messrs. Schmitt & Cie. have things like this available:

Assume, for the sake of it, that all the cars in their showroom would be reliable enough to get you home (even the British and Italian ones).

So browse among them, and pick the ONE you would dump the dough on, start up and set off in.  And let me know in Comments which one, and why.

It may take you a while…

Talking About Wheelhouses

Okay, you may all start laughing at me now, but here’s my latest automotive crush:

…and all the details are here.

The biggest knock on the Healeys is, of course, their ability to spew oil and lose carburetors.  And then there’s , courtesy of Lucas Electrical (the Prince of Darkness) and failing instruments (the Rootes of All Evil).

But.

If that thing isn’t drop-dead gorgeous to you, we can’t be friends.  And its roaring 2.9-liter straight-six engine… I need a cigarette, and I don’t even smoke.

FYI:  we had one in the family, but my Mom made Dad sell it because she felt like a floozy driving it, and “all the men looked at her”.  (Which says all you need to know about my mother.)

I feel faint.  Mostly because of its price, but anyway.

Unreliable

I am often accused of being an EV-hater, in that I write so often about the shortcomings of said vehicles and, more often, the uncertainty of keeping them alive, so to speak.

I don’t hate EVs.  If I still lived where I used to live in Chicago, I would almost certainly be tempted by, say, an electric Smart Fortwo* or something similarly tiny with which I could make my way around the city in small, convenient trips to get stuff (like groceries) that are a huge PITA to carry around on the bus or in a taxi, both of which are in steady supply in Chicago.  In fact, the real utility of an EV in such a scenario comes not in the little trips to and from the supermarkets, book stores and liquor stores, but in trips slightly further afield, such as trips to the racecourse, a concert venue like Rosemont and similar suburban destinations.  You see, while getting a trip out there is no big deal, finding a cab or bus for the return trip can be problematic (ask me how I know this).

And if I lived in a coastal town e.g. somewhere in Florida, I could equally be tempted into using an electric runaround like an e-Moke for those little trips to restaurants, beaches and yes, supermarkets and liquor stores.

However, there are several drawbacks to owning an EV as one’s primary (or only) transport, principal of which is that the EV market presupposes a convenient, reliable and unending supply of electricity.  And as we’re rapidly discovering, said supply is not only none of the above, but in fact, the situation is likely to get still worse as demand starts to exceed supply and the infrastructure, already proving to be inadequate, start to fall apart.

“But you can always just recharge your EV at home,” you may say.

Perhaps this little story from Britishland may be instructive:

T.T. writes: Eon Drive installed an electric vehicle (EV) wall charger at my house last year but it has never worked. 

Despite offering a guarantee, Eon has refused to attend my property to investigate or fix the problem.

Tony Hetherington replies: Eon told you the problem was ‘voltage fluctuation’ in the electricity supply to your home, so you had it monitored by Energy North West. When this showed nothing was wrong, you contacted Utilities Alternative Dispute Resolution – a sort of licensed ombudsman scheme which referees problems involving EV equipment.

The ADR adjudicator ruled Eon had to fix the charger or remove it within 28 days. This did not happen, and in the end you sold your electric car.

The story continues, with all sorts of typically-British complications thrown in, but the point made is still valid:  electricity is not necessarily a slam-dunk commodity in terms of its supply… anymore.  Indeed, the very fact that EV batteries typically require a “boosted” power supply to work properly or at least be recharged more rapidly should give plenty of reason for skepticism.  Ordinary household electrical systems, apparently, are just not up to the task.

That seems to be the case in 240v-powered Britishland, in any event, with its short distances between destinations;  how we are going to fare in 110v-Murka with its endless highway system and huge distances between Points A and B?  I leave it to you to guess.

The reasons, by the way, why I said yesterday that FJB’s new regulations aren’t going to work Over Here are quite simple.

In the first place, there is no way in hell that we are going to be able to build not only the generation system (we used to call them “power stations” back in simpler times) but the delivery infrastructure to satisfy the enormous increase in demand that a mandated universal EV regime would require.

Secondly, we are not Europeans or Brits, who have a long and storied heritage of supine acquiescence to government diktat;  in fact, we are notorious for our inherent resistance thereto.

So government flunkies and their lickspittles can pass all the laws and regulations they want;  we’ll just ignore or –far  more likely — actively resist mandated regulation.

We shall see how it all shakes out, of course.  But I am more optimistic than most, in this scenario at least.


*except that Smart can’t actually make an electric Fortwo because it’s not big enough to hold the size of battery required, hence the Smart #1 which is a complete POS, not the least in its nomenclature.

Never Not Ever No Way

Commenting on this post about my car issues, Longtime Reader Fred Z. asks:

“Have you considered a small motorbike for short trips and simple errands? Cheap to buy, cheap on gas, cheap to maintain.”

And easy to fall from, be struck by another car with, and a host of other dangers.  As the meme goes:

I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, was last on one (my uncle’s) at age 10 and never again since.  Ain’t gonna happen.

I’d drive an EV before a bike, but only if it looks like this:

Bright, high-visibility yellow.  No doors so I can jump out easily if the fershlugginer thing catches fire.

Kinda like riding a bike, except with four wheels.  I am aware of the irony, thank you.

Does that answer the question?

Sour Taste

Was chatting to my insurance guy the other day, and the result of said discussion was that as far as my VW Tiguan is concerned, I’m screwed if I ever get into a wreck because the book value of the 2013 model with 130,000+ miles is in the single-figure thousands.

This would be barely enough for a deposit on a “new” (i.e. second-hand) replacement, assuming I could even find one in acceptable condition — mine is near-perfect because I look after my cars, and it has the “leatherette” seats which are like hen’s teeth in this model.  (I’m a huge fan of the Tiggy because I’ve owned two, consecutively, and neither ever gave me any trouble, for a total of 210,000 miles.)

And to continue on the math of the thing, a $5,000 deposit would result in a $450+ monthly car payment, which I can’t afford #CrappyCashFlow.

So I’m stuck with what I’ve got, and the only thing I’ve got going for me is that a month’s total driving tops out at about 200 miles.  Had I not done Uber for a couple years, the mileage would now stand at about 40,000 miles, but I had no option in the matter (did I already mention #CrappyCashFlow?).

Anyway, I’ll just have to be careful out there, as a wise TV cop once said.

But there is an advantage to not having a modern — i.e. 2015+ — model, in that the electronics of the Tiguan are minuscule:  no keyless entry, no mapping software or any of that jive.  In fact, other than electric windows and -rearview mirrors, it’s about as electronics-free as one could imagine:  no seat “memory”, no “touchless trunk-closer”, none of any of those apparently-must-have “features” which are now common in cars nowadays.  Hell, my Tiggy doesn’t even have an Event Data Recorder (EDR) chip installed (that came after the 2014 model year).

This non-modernism is a real advantage when it comes to dealing with bastardy of this nature:

In a world where privacy is becoming increasingly elusive, drivers are facing an invisible foe that could be costing them money. A New York Times report details how automakers are sharing information on driving habits with insurance companies which can have a harmful impact on people’s wallets.

Insurance companies have “offered incentives to people who install dongles in their cars or download smartphone apps that monitor their driving, including how much they drive, how fast they take corners, how hard they hit the brakes and whether they speed.”

Car companies have established relationships with insurance companies, so that if drivers want to sign up for what’s called usage-based insurance — where rates are set based on monitoring of their driving habits — it’s easy to collect that data wirelessly from their cars.

But in other instances, something much sneakier has happened. Modern cars are internet-enabled, allowing access to services like navigation, roadside assistance and car apps that drivers can connect to their vehicles to locate them or unlock them remotely. In recent years, automakers, including G.M., Honda, Kia and Hyundai, have started offering optional features in their connected-car apps that rate people’s driving. Some drivers may not realize that, if they turn on these features, the car companies then give information about how they drive to data brokers like LexisNexis.

Here’s the thing:  I am one of the world’s most careful drivers;  in fifty-odd years of driving, I’ve had two wrecks of any consequence (and none at all in the past forty years) and two — count ’em, two — speeding tickets (both for doing less than 50 in a 40mph zone).  That’s it.

So if anyone would qualify for a lower insurance premium, assuming that I’d agree to let my insurance company snoop on my driving, it would be me.

But I’ll see them all burn in hell before I agree to this bullshit.  Fuck these assholes, fuck their Big Brother snooping, and fuck any car company who goes along with this foulness.  I’ll stick with my old ‘un, thankee:

No wonder ol’ Fred’s smiling.  He doesn’t have to put up with all this bullshit.

Comparison

Maserati re-released their GT model a year or so ago, and made a great to-do about its heritage, comparing it all the way back to the A6 tourer.  Okay;  let’s take a look:

1956 A6G/54 Zagato

2023 GT

Leaving aside the new GT’s Whore’s Red Lipstick (or whatever it’s called) color, and ignoring completely the fugly rims…

…the new one’s not bad (although surprise surprise, the 1956 model is the one that gets my dangler tingling).

Sadly, of course, it no longer has the V8 Ferrari engine of the earlier 2010-era GT, but the replacement 3.0-liter V6 is the same engine out of the excellent-but-impractical MC20 racer:

…so it can’t be all bad.

The new GT retails for just under $170,000 here at Boardwalk Maserati in Plano — a relative bargain in these inflated-money / overpriced sports car times, and $100k less than, say a Ferrari Roma — so at least it’s not that stupid, price-wise.  (The older GT used to cost about $150k, and the 1956 A6 G/54 will set you back well over $900k, if you can find one — they made fewer than a hundred, all told.)

Lovely, all three of them.  But what else did you expect from Maserati?


Some more pics of the 50s Maserati Zagato:

And the Frua-bodied Spider, which is so beautiful it should be illegal: