I’ve ranted so often about shitty architecture on these pages that one might be forgiven for thinking that I’d be sick of it by now.
Residents living next to one of the most expensive houses in Britain have blasted the home as a ‘monstrosity’.
The newbuild, in the exclusive London suburb of Chelsea, has been nicknamed ‘Gucci House’ by appalled neighbours because of its ‘gaudy’ appearance.
The ‘ugly’ mansion occupies land that was formerly a school playground and has a dark grey exterior and imposing metal gates outside.
The exclusive street is the oldest in Chelsea, dating back to at least 1566.
I know, it looks like a wart on a pretty girl’s face — not, mind you, that London residential architecture is anything like a pretty girl’s face: it’s dated, and occasionally quite horrible — but whatever, it’s what gives London its character.
As to why some rich fuck and his equally-fucky architect would want to lessen or destroy that character, I leave it to you to decide. But speaking of that architect, here’s a quote which describes the process perfectly:
Original architects, Gumuchdjian, describe the property as surrounding a garden courtyard with an entrance that echoes the Parisian Hotel Particular.
Okay, let’s just nip this little turd-piece in the bud.
There’s no such thing as the Parisian Hotel Particular — it’s not a specific building, so it shouldn’t be capitalized. The hotel particulier is a style of building, and denotes a grand townhouse. Here’s a typical example of said style, in Paris:
To even suggest that this London carbuncle resembles the above is mendacity in the Clinton Class.
And here’s the final word on this catastrophe, from a neighbor:
‘My house has survived The Blitz, it was built in the 1780s, they’re not building to match the heritage of the area. It’s like vandalism. How can the council approve this when it doesn’t match the other ones?’
Here’s a clue:
The house changed hands just last year and according to data from the Land Registry, the price tag of £73.2million was 209 times the average house price last year which was £350,396.
When a house costs about $100 million, a hundred thou or so to the right councilor or planning authority is small change.