100% Funny… And True

Taki’s Mag’s weekly feature “The Week That Perished” is often very funny, as well as irreverent.  Last week’s piece was the funniest yet — and as is often the case, the most true.  Take for example their explanation of the South African mess:

“ZOOD” AFRIKA
The riots and looting tearing through South Africa simply cannot be happening. The images must be CGI; the news reports fake. Everyone knows that black people only riot and loot because of institutional racism caused by evil whites and their damnable supremacy.
It’s a law of physics, no more violable than gravity.
So no, it’s simply not possible that blacks are rioting and looting in a black nation because of actions taken by the blacks who rule them against other blacks who used to rule them.
In fact, the backstory of the SA riots is so convoluted, only a writer of Marvel blockbusters could’ve come up with it. The origin story involves something called the “Zondo Commission,” which totally sounds like what Doctor Strange or Starhawk would appear before while trying to find the Galubrious Cubes or the Synstricious Stones or whatever inane plot device saves the universe.

And it just gets funnier and funnier from there — and it is 100%, ultra-clean, unvarnished truth.  My favorite part, though, is this:

And apparently killing Somalis…for reasons that surely make as much sense as anything else going on in that geographical septic tank. It got so bad that last week Somalian diplomats sent a formal protest to the South African government demanding protection for Somalis living in SA. The Somalian flag is a machete-wielding warlord carving a starving child in half while eating a baby. When your nation has become too extreme for those lunatics, maybe it’s time to dial it back a bit.

I know that there’s a considerable overlap of my Readers and Taki’s, but for those who aren’t, get over there toot sweet.

Now Accents?

Great Cicero’s bleeding adenoids, have we come to this?

Linguist Dr Rob Drummond, who works at Manchester Met University, argued using accents for comedic effect in sitcoms like Fawlty Towers, where Andrew Sachs famously portrayed a clumsy Spanish waiter called Manuel, promotes ‘lazy stereotypes’ and can be ‘pretty damaging’.

Damaging to whom, exactly?

While my native accent is pure Johannesburg WASP (often mistaken for British in America, but never in Britishland), I love doing accents.  While some are not so good (my Texas twang fools absolutely nobody), my Indian-, French- and even German-accented English are all pretty good.  (Afrikaans-flavored English, of course, is second nature.)  My Scottish accent is passable outside the U.K., but nothing beats my Australian — I’ve fooled even native Aussies into thinking I was pure Ocker, and having armed myself with some Strine slang, it’s unbeatable.

And if I live somewhere for any lengthy period of time, the native accent is easy — when I lived in north Jersey, even some of my NJ buddies could be fooled when I called them up and asked in my best Hoboken Nasal, “Yo, howya dooin’?”

So now I can’t do accents anymore, in case someone is “damaged”?

Fuck that.

That Freedom Thing

The old expression goes, “If you are not allowed to laugh at something, you’re facing totalitarianism.”

Try this example:

Katie Hopkins has been deported from Australia after ‘joking’ about breaching hotel quarantine rules and calling Covid lockdowns the ‘greatest hoax in human history.’
The controversial British social commentator, 46, boarded a Singapore Airlines flight from Sydney at 3pm on Monday after her ‘critical skills’ visa was torn up by the Federal Government and she was fined $1,000 (£536) for answering the door of her room in quarantine naked and without a face mask in violation of quarantine rules.

Here’s the best part:

It was at 5am on Saturday that Hopkins took to Instagram live to post a speech where she ‘called out’ the lockdowns in Sydney and Melbourne and threatened to answer her hotel door naked.

Why is this funny, in light of her expulsion?  She never actually answered the door naked and maskless — she only jokingly threatened to do so.

Nevertheless, to the priggish OzGov, who have to lock down their population serially because of their inability to manage any form of mass inoculation against the WuFlu, this was All Too Much:

Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews said on Monday morning: ‘I hadn’t heard of her before and I don’t want to hear about her ever again.
‘I thought it was just shameful, the fact that she was out there boasting about breaching quarantine was just appalling,’ she told the ABC.

‘As soon as we found out about her behaviour and the fact that she was out there openly flaunting our quarantine system here, we took pretty strong action as quickly as we possibly could to get that visa cancelled, and to make sure she would be leaving the country,’ she said.

What a bunch of self-righteous tools.