Category: Funny Stuff

Pure Comedy

Morons & Idiots, Politics

Fine, I know he’s the prime contender for the late Sheila Jackson Lee’s title of “Stupidest Person In Congress”, but even for him, this is rich:

Representative Adam Schiff (D-CA) said Wednesday on ABC’s “The View” that it was “hard to find someone better qualified in our history to become president” than Vice President Kamala Harris.

Ummm I can think of half a dozen, and that’s just since 1900.  (Okay, since you ask:  Taft, Coolidge, Hoover, Eisenhower, Nixon and Reagan.  Hell, Warren Harding was better-qualified than the DEI VP, never mind the lesser Republicans like the two Bushes.)

And if we go further back in our history… oh, Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Jackson, Lincoln… need I go further?

I would suggest that Schiff undergo a lobotomy, but I suspect he already has.

3 Modern Things

3 Inexplicable Things

…that would have caused my old Dad’s brow to furrow with amazement:

1.) Bottled water.
“WTF?”  Selling ordinary water?  In bottles?  And charging how much?”  That’s not to say he was unfamiliar with the concept — he’d been to France, and after getting the runs from drinking Parisian tap water, he did what the Frogs did and drank Perrier.
But the idea of a society which did have clean and potable water out of the tap (e.g. the U.S. and the U.K.), but still sold bottled water would have been as alien to him as people not being able to drive a stick shift.  So:

2.) All auto, all the time.
Back when I were a yoot and my old man was still alive (early 1970s), you couldn’t take your driving test in a car with automatic transmission.  Which meant you had to know how to take off on an incline without rolling backwards, as well as being able to row through the gears when parallel parking (another required activity).  Once again, he was perfectly comfortable driving his various Mercedes (all auto), he just wouldn’t now be able to understand why almost nobody in the current generation can’t perform so simple an activity.  Of course, that’s not all the modern yoot can’t handle:

3.) No manners, no discipline and no beatings.
The lack of manners in today’s society and the indiscipline not just in kids but in everyone would have driven him crazy.  Tardiness, ingratitude, disrespect not just for one’s elders but for everyone… all this makes me want to reach for the sjambok.  My dad would have been worse.  And all this is because children’s (okay, boys’) backsides have somehow become sacred objects that one may no longer use as a disciplinary receptacle for the above whip.  As I always say, it’s not the punishment  per se  but the fear of punishment that keeps youthful psychopaths on the straight and narrow.  And all this has disappeared from homes, the schools and the court system because OMG the chiiiiildren!  And the children have responded in true Lord Of The Flies fashion, and we are shocked and saddened by all of it because we are morons and can’t understand the root causes of the above.

What a load of bollocks.  All of it.

Now It’s “NO Feet”?

Funny Stuff, Old Fartism, Today's Yoot

What the hell has become of the yoot of today?  (I know, it’s a common plaint.)  Via Insty, I see this strange paradigm:

Generation Z, the generation born between 1997 and 2012, is now occupying high schools across the country, and their feet are decidedly covered.  Not only do they often prefer not to show their own feet, but they can take offense to others who do.

Bloody hell.

Yeah I know, creepy foot fetishes and all that.  (If I can be honest, I think that of all the sexual fetishes, the one for feet has to be the most harmless.)

Anyway I’m not immune to the allure of the female foot, although it’s not a particular fetish for me.  Here’s Semiaramis:

…whose feet are decidedly sexy, but then again I find her whole outfit undeniably so.

Kids need to get some perspective, and a grip.

When The Hatred Surges

Gummint, Mocking Furriners, Watermelons

Not talking about our local Commies and their HitlerTrump bullshit here.  Nope, we have to go Over There to see a bunch of gummint types having their asses handed to them by the voters, for once.

The Labour government’s decision to scrap its blanket 20mph speed limits in Wales just a year after they were introduced has sparked hope for the rest of the UK. 

Wales’ Transport Secretary Ken Skates admitted the policy was so unpopular even his own family had signed the petition against it.

This despite all the assurances that a 20mph (!!!!) speed limit would do so much to combat Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©.  Of course it wouldn’t (and won’t), just as our own imposition of a 55mph highway speed limit did nothing of the sort either.

I suppose retraction is better than a public hanging, after all — although that may be a contentious issue all by itself, especially among Stout Bulldogs of my acquaintance Over There.  (The Englishman, for one, is especially fond of the “heads on pikes” approach to curbing government excess.)

Now we’ll see if the Welsh example spreads to other Brit municipalities of similar stupidity.  But I wouldn’t count on it.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

So let’s spice up the dreadful morning with a few items of (predictably) questionable taste.

And on a similar topic:

Okay, that’s enough political stuff.  Let’s go deeper:

Some things that do have periods:

And on that bloody note, I’ll send you off into the week.