Speed Bump #8,745

Oh dear, we have yet another example of SpellChek doing the editing job at a newspaper:

“Vogue Williams flashed her envious physique in a black and white bikini as she took a dip in the ocean in St Barts on Friday.”

The word they were looking for is “enviable” — a physique cannot be envious, only people can be envious — and even “enviable” (worthy of envy) is incorrect:

Nothing to be envious of there, methinks.  Now the Irish ex-model’s hubby, on the other hand:

…has better tits than she does.

But all that still doesn’t excuse the crap grammar.

Speed Bump #3,248

At Insty’s place, I saw this:

…and I was irritated by the non-clarity of the post.

There’s always an issue when using numerical values when writing.  You can write “Ninety-nine out of a hundred people think that George Soros is an evil cunt” — which is acceptable — or “99 out of 100 people think that George Soros is an evil cunt” which is equally so.  One can argue that the latter usage is more effective in that the scale is better described, and that is generally true when using large numbers, e.g.

“The chances of that cunt George Soros being hit by a meteorite while crossing Sunset Boulevard on any given Thursday are 1 in 174 trillion” works better than “one in one hundred and seventy-four trillion” (too many words, albeit expressing the same distressingly-small likelihood).

However, in the above Twatter post, the writer should not have used the numeral in his sign-off sentence, because there’s another “1” preceding it — referring to the other cunt, Nancy Pelosi — and the sentence as written causes a mental speed bump because in actual fact it is Pelosi (#1) who has changed her position / sold out on the tariff issue.  (Trump (#4) has never changed his position on tariffs:  he’s been arguing in their favor since about the 1990s, long before he  became a politician.)

“Only one hasn’t sold out” would have been the proper way to write it.

Perennial Speedbump

Oh FFS… how many more times am I to be subjected to this linguistic atrocity?

“I was sat with Maura Higgins and Danny Jones at the star-studded BRITs Afterparty…”

No;  you were seated OR you were sitting next to these people.

Of course, this comes from the Daily Mail, so expectations are low.  Even so…

“I Thought This Country Spawned The Fucking Language, And So Far Nobody Seems To Speak It.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Speed Bump #297

From (of course) the Daily Mail:

Angelina Jolie walks away $80 million richer after dragging Brad Pitt ‘through ringer’ in eight-year divorce battle

Were there bells involved?  No?

Then it’s wringer, you fucking imbeciles — the machine what squeezed the water out of sodden clothing with rollers (back before we had clothes dryers).  Not that I would expect Millennial- or Gen Z illiterates to know about them.

Which is no excuse.

Speed Bump #784

If you’re trying to fix colleges, you could at least start by using proper grammar in your headlines:

“Student sues South Carolina college after suspended for gun-related social media post”

…OR:

“Student sues South Carolina college after suspension for gun-related social media post”

…OR:

“Student sues South Carolina college after being suspended for gun-related social media post”

…OR:

“Student sues South Carolina college after having been suspended for gun-related social media post”

All those options, and you picked the wrong one.

Speed Bump #856

From Longtime Friend & Reader Weetabix:

This morning on the radio, the host called an idea “far-fletched” before describing the problems with the idea. The guest then said, “You hit it right on the nail.”

1) Is a “far-fletched” idea one that has better fletching so it can fly farther?

2) Did the guest believe the host was trying to hammer his thumb on purpose?

Good questions, both.  In mitigation:  radio is a live medium so people can misspeak while expressing an opinion — but that’s all the more reason to gather one’s thoughts before expressing them.