Category: Mocking Furriners

Fighting Off The Bully

Mocking Furriners, Pussification Parade, The Gun Thing

Apparently, dogs attacking people is becoming a thing in Britishland.

Here’s one to make you wonder:

Fighting off an XL bully is nearly “impossible,” according to a martial arts expert. Self-defense tycoon Matt Fiddes, 44, has called for a ban on the beasts and said that if anyone finds themselves confronted by one then do your best to run away.

Run away from a dog?  Yeah, that’ll work.  The exercise will just make him hungrier.

Of course, Over Here we don’t have to listen to bullshit like this because we have recourse to fine tools like this one:


…loaded with your choice of .410 goodness (I’m kinda torn between #2 and #5, but I can be persuaded, in Comments):


Of course, the Brits could use pepper spray — no wait:  “Carry and use of pepper spray by common citizens is banned under Section 5(1)(b) of the Firearms Act 1968”.

What about tasers or stun guns?  “Stun guns are considered firearms, and as such are also controlled under the Firearms Act 1968”.

Looks like they’re stuck with:


…although they’re probably also banned under the “Dangerous Club Act 1968”, or something.

Sure must be nice to live in such a state of fear — hooligans, thugs, dangerous dogs etc. — all because of stupid laws.

I prefer living in the state of Texas, thank you.

Poking Fun

Food & Drink, Mocking Furriners

I like the way this guy works:

Ben Reid, from England, recently spent a few weeks on holiday around Italy and learned that many locals were quite specific about their food.

The English man was constantly chastised for making ‘adjustments’ to his meals – such as dipping his croissant in coffee, and pouring water into his espresso.

Ben eventually started ‘trolling’ strangers with bizarre acts. 

However, the act that evoked the most condemnation was cutting spaghetti with scissors.

Two waiters actually went up to Ben and told him he ‘wasn’t allowed’ to consume his food like that.

‘You have to roll the pasta with your fork, you cannot cut it with scissors. People will think you’re an idiot,’ the waiter said, and then confiscated the scissors.

Brilliant.  I’m just surprised he wasn’t scolded for not having a glass of wine with his dinner.

I do the same kind of thing in Chinese restaurants by using a fork instead of chopsticks.  Let ’em sneer or roll their eyes, I don’t care.

Yeah, Whatever

Mocking Furriners

Here’s something guaranteed to make you snore (as it did me):

UK and European carmakers are facing multibillion-pound costs if the European Union goes ahead with the introduction of tariffs on electric vehicles partially manufactured outside the two regions.

European carmakers are urging the EU to delay post-Brexit tariffs on the sale of electric vehicles to the United Kingdom and vice-versa over fears that the increased prices will overwhelmingly benefit China, one of the leading producers of the batteries required to run the cars. The European Union has refused to heed the request for a delay by the British Government as they try to stimulate the growth of the continents’ domestic production of electric vehicles (EVs). Experts, however, have warned that the bullying tactic has failed to excite manufacturing enough to justify sticking to the proposed tariff timeline, enacted by the post-Brexit Trade and Cooperation Agreement (TCA).

It’s all kinda confusing, especially to one of addled brain like myself, but the executive summary seems to be that governments have been interfering with markets by means of tariffs, and now it’s gone and bitten them in the ass.  (Feel free to correct me if I read this wrong.)

However, as it involves

  • the EU and
  • electric cars…

Next Banned Word: Macho

Men & Women, Mocking Furriners

At least, this is the inference I get from the latest bit of governmental foolishness, Euro Division:

Spain has announced plans for an app that will tell wives if their men are doing enough housework. The new app intends to address the gender imbalance of housework and will log the hours a family member spends doing chores.

And which department is coming up with this lovely example of Big Sister snooping?

Ángela Rodríguez, Spain’s minister for gender equality and domestic violence, said her department was in the process of developing the free app.

One might argue that the rationale for even having a “minister for gender equality and domestic violence” is dubious (and one would be right — “gender equality” is a bullshit concept, and “domestic violence” is a police matter already).

The minister was speaking at a conference in Geneva discussing discrimination against women. The minister presented a report at the convention on Spain’s women’s rights. 

Rodriguez said nearly half of the women who took part in a survey by Spain’s National Statistics Institute said they did the majority of the housework in their home. 

Oh boo fucking hoo.

Wonder what the fat bitch would think of this little joke?

I can hear the Sisterhood’s wailings from here.

Anyway, Spain is pretty fucked up about all this:

A Spanish court has ordered a businessman to pay his ex-wife £180,000 for 25 years of unpaid domestic labour, based on the minimum wage throughout their marriage.

And oh yeah, the ruling was made by a female judge — like you didn’t suspect that already.

If the hapless Spanish businessman refused to pay the money and went to jail for his disobedience:  now that would be truly macho, Señor.

Never gonna happen, though.  Looks like Spanish men have been pussified like pretty much most Western men (to coin a phrase).

Juxtaposition

Economics, Mocking Furriners

Here are three headlines:

…and it is:

…but wait!

U.S. Govt spin:  “See?  We’re ten times better than the Euros!”

Ordinary Americans:  “In so many ways.  Now shuddup and fix our economy — or better yet, get out of the fucking way and let us fix it ourselves.”

We’re going to need 3-4% quarterly growth just to catch up with the Trump years, and there’s no way we’re going to achieve that under the current Administration.

The Kissinger Statement

Mocking Furriners, Wars & Other Fun Games

I haven’t had much to say about the whole Russia / Ukraine thing because I’m somewhat ambivalent about the whole business.

On the one hand, yes, Vladimir Putin is a megalomaniac Russian bastard like so many of his political predecessors (Lenin, Stalin, Peter the Great etc.), and Russians themselves are a bunch of assholes (see:  Russian oligarchs, Russian mafia, Russian hackers, Russian corruption etc.).

Unfortunately, the Ukrainians are not exactly little angels themselves.  While they lack the global power of Russia, Ukraine is just as corrupt as their next-door neighbor, as shown with their dealings with our very own Biden criminal enterprise, to name but one example of their bastardy.

In other words, if Russia is the #1 Asshole in this area of the world, Ukraine is very definitely #1a.

Hence the Kissinger Statement, first spoken about the Iran / Iraq War of the 1980s:  “It’s a pity there has to be a winner.”

I’m not saying that the Ukrainians shouldn’t resist Putin’s invasion with might and main and kill as many Russians as possible;  I’m just saying that we should reserve our sympathy for Russia’s next target, e.g. the Finns, who definitively do not deserve the Ukrainian treatment.