In the wake of Bud Light performing the impossible task of stepping on its own transgender wokedick comes this silliness:
Miller Lite is facing criticism for a weeks-old ad that pushed a feminist message.
“So here’s to women,” comedian Ilana Glazer says in the ad, which Miller Lite published in March for Women’s History Month. “Because without us there would be no beer.”
Without women, there pretty much wouldn’t be any need for beer, but let’s continue:
Glazer explains that women have made beer throughout history and the beer industry has not paid them enough credit. The ad criticizes beer advertisements that feature women in bikinis.
Errr nobody gives a rat’s ass about who actually makes beer — it could be made by Brazilian macaque monkeys, for that matter, and I suspect some actually might be — but showing women in bikinis is just the beer industry’s equivalent of a cosmetic company using some actress as their “face”, i.e. getting the attention of its core buyers.
But that just leads to my main point.
Regardless of who makes it and who drinks it, “light” or “lite” (i.e. diluted) beer is a totally shit product.
We shouldn’t be boycotting Bud Light or Miller Lite or any of their cohort brands; we should be boycotting diluted beer in toto.
When I say “we” I mean all existing male drinkers of this foul swill — I had one sip of Miller Lite back in 1985, and have never touched the shit (of any brand) since, so I can’t very well boycott something I never drink.
Still, I can’t deny that there’s a need for people to drink lots of hardly-alcoholic booze, so I have to reluctantly concede that there is a market for it. Going back to my first experiences with light beer, I recall that anyone throwing a party always had to get some Lite in so that the girls could drink with the boys.
So while men have always bought light beer, it’s generally been for their womenfolk and not themselves: men can consume and handle alcohol in quantity more easily than women — fact! — so why not? Light beer, then, has always been aimed at women, but subtly: showing bikini-clad women in those ads simply reminds the buyers — mostly men — not to forget the ladies when they plan their party.
Clearly, though, that’s just Not Appropriate anymore, and Men Are Pigs and Women Are Downtrodden and and and and, ad nauseam.
Is it time for a breakfast martini yet? Oh, why the fuck not? If there was any 6X anywhere around, I’d go for one of those, but there isn’t so I’ll just substitute.
Not a lite bone in its considerable body.
Judging from the Comments, I seem to have pissed in a few people’s light beer. LOL