Category: Food & Drink

Not Raw

Food & Drink

This pic reminded me of something:

It reminded me that I don’t like eating raw vegetables.  In fact, if I think of it, the only ones I don’t mind eating raw are tomatoes and cabbage (i.e. as cole slaw, with Marzetti’s dressing).  All other vegetables are only palatable if cooked.  (Cabbage gets a special mention, here.  I only eat it raw because cooked cabbage makes my stomach turn, violently — by both smell and taste, thank you boarding school.)

Even pickled vegetables get the stinkeye from me, except jalapeño peppers.  And don’t even think of sauerkraut, ugh.  (No wonder the Germans were once so aggressive, if that was a feature of their daily diet.  Ditto the Irish and boiled cabbage.)

Needless to say, this attitude does not endear me to the salad-eaters, who can’t stop rabbitting on about the joys of said foul stuff.  Nope.  Lettuce has no taste, and is really just a water-delivery vehicle, as is cucumber;  cauliflower is tasteless (cooked or raw), and as any baby will tell you, carrots are foul in any manifestation:  cooked, raw or pureed.

And raw broccoli has a special place in hell because not only is it bland-tasting, it leaves those little buds lodged in between the teeth for future discomfort and smile-disfigurement.  I can just barely tolerate it cooked.

Yeah, I’m mostly a meat-and-potatoes/rice man.  Surprise, surprise.

Okay, plus eggs:

And if we’re going to go all exotic on the meat thing:

And if I’m forced (at gunpoint) to become a vegetarian:

I think I need to pay a visit to my kitchen now.  And my apologies if this post has created a similar urge among y’all.

Comparative Dressing

Food & Drink

This little thing made the meme-rounds over the weekend:

My first reaction was:  Huh? because I don’t much care for ranch dressing myself, so at first I couldn’t understand the excitement among the Euros and Brits over the stuff.  Then I remembered what these guys generally put on their salad:

…which is easily the most vile cream-like substance anyone has ever put in their mouth.  (And that includes the output [sic]  of the porno movies made in the 1970s.)

So when we Murkins wonder why all the excitement about ranch dressing, you need to consider the (coff, coff)  competition.

Quite understandable, really.

Good News

Food & Drink, Health

Here’s one side benefit from the emergence of Ozempic et al.:

For a very long time, bariatric surgery, in which doctors removed a portion of the stomach, was the standard procedure for helping patients lose weight and manage obesity, alongside metabolic disorders such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. However, ever since GLP-1 medications like Ozempic became available on the market, there has been a shift in how people seek to lose weight.

I just wish this stuff had been around all those years ago, before I had my bariatric (gastric band) surgery.  I don’t often regret my important decisions, mostly because I’ve given them a considerable amount of thought before making them;  but having a plastic sphincter installed at the top of my stomach — thus reducing the amount of food one can swallow — was easily the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.

Executive summary:  it took away one of my few pleasures in life.  And yes, I could probably have had the thing removed (probably not now, it’s been too long), but at the time I had no health insurance (and the removal probably wouldn’t have been covered anyway) so here I am, some eighteen years later, still stuck with the damn thing.

And still unable to swallow a decent mouthful of delicious food.

And yes, I’m back on Ozempic, because (as I discovered) it did change my attitude towards food and the quantities thereof while I was taking it.  I thought this attitude would persist after I stopped taking it, but it didn’t:  in the year after losing some fifty pounds, I put about ten pounds back on.  And so here I am, back to the weekly prick in the stomach, at about $50 a pop for the 0.25mg privilege.

Fach.

Just don’t expect me to feel any sympathy for the bariatric surgeons as they see their income shrink.

Food Palaces

Food & Drink, Travels

Finally, a list in the Daily Mail that I can more or less agree with, because food.  The markets (ranked by the DM;  * means I’ve been there):

1. Reading Terminal Market, Philadelphia, USA*
No argument.  Best frigging food choices on the planet.  I’d like to mention my favorites, but we’d be here all day.  It’s actually worth going to Philly just to visit the place;  then get the hell out.  One of my buddies used to fly to Europe via PHL and used to break his trip there, just to get road food from Reading.  I might do the same, if ever…

2. Borough Market, London, UK
Missed this one, somehow (makes note).

3. Adelaide Central Market, Adelaide, Australia
Strylia, ergo no chance.

4. (tie) Mercado Central, Valencia, Spain / South Melbourne Market, Melbourne, Australia
See above;  but I wouldn’t mind going to Valencia.

6. Torvehallerne, Copenhagen, Denmark
I’m not a huge fan of Scandi food, generally speaking, but if I ever get there, sure (because Copenhagen).

7. Marché Bastille, Paris, France*
Been there and it’s lovely (because Paris);  but I’ve been to two or three others in the city that are just as good.

8. Granville Island Public Market, Vancouver, Canada*(?)
I’ve been to a foodmarket in Vancouver, but it’s been so long that it might have been another one.  Still, if this is the same one, it’s excellent.

9. Chelsea Market, New York City, USA*
Went there at least a dozen times when I lived in Joyzee.  Great but overpriced (#NYfC).

10. Ferry Building Marketplace, San Francisco, USA*
Excellent with amazing choices of seafood, but parking (back when I went) was nosebleed, even for SF.  Easier to take a cab.

11. Milwaukee Public Market, Milwaukee, USA*
Best foodmarket in the Central Midwest, by a country mile.  Nothing Chicago does can compare.

12. La Boqueria, Barcelona, Spain
Never been to Barcelona, but if I do, I’ll definitely give this one a shot.

13. Marché Atwater, Montreal, Canada*
Disagree.  Jean Talon is far better than Atwater, although it’s a fur piece outside downtown (but reachable by the metro).  I want to get back there SO badly, because saucisson.

14. Pike Place Market, Seattle, USA*
Nice, but I was unimpressed with the bread offerings (not everyone likes sourdough).

15. Viktualienmarkt, Munich, Germany*
Should be much higher on the list.  Best Bavarian foods ever.  Just the sausage selections alone are worth the trip.  I and the kids must have tried four or five different kinds of wurst, and all were wonderful.  And we won’t talk about the pastries and cheeses… oh and the upstairs doughnut shop sells the best berliners in the world.

16. (tie) Or Tor Kor Market, Bangkok, Thailand / Mathallen Oslo, Oslo, Norway
Never been, unlikely to go to either.

18. Municipal Market of São Paulo, São Paulo, Brazil
See above.  Brazil has never been high on my list.

19. St. Lawrence Market, Toronto, Canada
Anything Toronto has, Montreal usually has better, and cheaper.

20. Foodhallen, Amsterdam, The Netherlands*
Another one that should be higher up the list.  From breads to pannekoek to fries to (duh) cheeses, it’s tops.  If I lived nearby, I’d weigh 600lbs.

That’s my 2 cents.  And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the kitchen.

Multi-Tasking

Food & Drink, Tools

In a world which has become singularly devoted to specialization and its narrowing functions besides, this picture at C.W.’s place* made me hoot with joy.

Let’s look at this beauty from the perspective of Mom preparing Thanksgiving Dinner:  a cooktop with six burners, five ovens and three warming drawers.  In other words, you can prepare simultaneously your turkey, vegetables, pies and anything else you desire, plus you’re keeping pre-cooked dishes warm for the table, and have maybe a spare warmer for the plates.  None of this time-juggling nonsense that modern tiny and inadequate ranges force you into.

Now let’s consider all the things that Make Kim Happy:  not a single electronic doodad to be found anywhere, which means that any failures over time (if any) can be repaired by a competent mechanic or electrician, or else by replacement of the failed part installed also either by the homeowner or either of the above technicians.  You’d have none of this “Oh, one of the electronic switches has failed so you have to replace the entire panel” or even worse, “It would be cheaper just to replace the entire range than to fix this one thing” (a comment which always has me reaching for my 1911).

Oh, and did I mention that appliances such as this one would probably last for fifty years (or even longer)?

And yes I know that this Hulk-y thing of beauty is bigger than most modern kitchens, all by itself.  [20,000-word rant against modern interior design omitted]

To me, the tipping point of this piece was New Wife’s reaction to the above, which was awe and wonder, coupled with envy that someone somewhere has this lovely beast and she does not.

It’s wonderful, fantastic, and every home should have one.  Yes, it’s no doubt Too Much for the modern generation, whose idea of home cooking is a call to DoorDash or some such foulness.  I don’t care about them and nor should anyone else.  I just know that if I were younger and the head of a decent-sized family (as I once was), this appliance would make my wife’s life far easier, and that’s all I care about.

Feel free to argue the point with me, but you’d be wrong.

*Ol’ C.W.’s (misnamed) Daily TimeWaster website has been a longtime staple of weekend viewing for New Wife and I, as we spend every Saturday morning in bed with cups of tea and coffee respectively as we catch up with a week’s worth of his brilliant pics.  I know that he features a lot of links (ads) to Amazon, but I also know that the stuff he features is mostly very desirable to a lot of people — to me no less than anyone.  I have probably followed an Amazon link and subsequently purchased no fewer than four or five of the products per year of reading his website for the past decade (or longer).

And no, it’s not a waste of time.  Looking at the various things of beauty and enjoying his occasional dry commentary could never be a waste of time.

Keep it up, buddy.

My Favorite Foods Are Gonna Kill Me

Food & Drink, Science!

According to !SCIENCE!, two of my favorite foods are dangerous:

Croissants, baguettes and even breakfast cereals could be exposing millions to a cancer-linked toxic metal, French health chiefs have warned.

A major report has raised alarm over levels of cadmium in everyday foods, with experts saying nearly half of the French population may be consuming ‘concerning’ amounts through their diet alone.

The heavy metal, which is found in fertilizers used in modern farming, can build up in soil and enter staple foods eaten daily by millions.

Scientists say products ranging from bread and pastries to pasta, rice and potatoes are among the biggest sources of exposure, with diet accounting for up to 98 per cent of intake in non-smokers.

The findings, published by France’s food safety agency ANSES, have been described as ‘worrying’, with warnings the risks could grow if no action is taken.

Cadmium has been linked to a range of cancers, including those affecting the pancreas, bladder, prostate and breast. It has also been associated with brittle bones, kidney damage and cardiovascular disease.

Géraldine Carne, an expertise coordinator at the agency, warned that long-term health impacts are likely to increase if exposure is not reduced.

Okay, so it’s not just croissants and baguettes that could be dangerous because of this cadmium stuff, but just about every agricultural product we eat.

So in essence, we’re all gonna DIIIIEEEEE from eating because #CadmiumBadShit.

Phew… for a moment I thought I was going to have to cut down on baguettes and croissants.

Just for the record:  French baguette — as made by my local grocery store, Market Street — is the only bread I eat, except when I’m eating croissants (usually from Kroger or Dunkin Donuts) for Saturday/Sunday brekkie.  I seldom put any other breads in my mouth, unless I’m feeling rich and happen to be close to a Central Market store, in which case I get a Batard loaf.  (I wrote about my love of bread back in 2019, in case anyone’s interested, and very little has changed since then. #SetInMyWays #SurpriseSurprise)

Anyway, that reminds me:  I’m running low on baguette, so if you’ll excuse me…

…I’m going to get some on my way back from the range.