Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Well, I guess if you’re going to play Big Boy Games, you need to be prepared to die like a man:

A 16-year-old male was shot and killed Monday while allegedly trying to steal a car around 2:20 a.m. from a San Antonio, Texas, apartment complex.

Police indicated the owner of the car heard glass breaking outside his apartment and went to investigate. Once outside, he found the 16-year-old allegedly sitting his his car, trying to steal it.

The car owner believed the 16-year-old was armed so he fired at the suspect, striking him once and killing him. [some editing necessary – K.]

Gotta say that San Antonio seems to be becoming a dangerous place to work, that is if your “work” involves undocumented property redistribution.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Stop me if you’ve heard this one

Seems like an Olde Phartte went to his local ATM to draw himself a little bingo money, whereupon a yoot approached him with a gun and demanded that the Olde Phartte share — i.e. 100% for the yoot and the rest for its owner.

Well, even in Chicago this didn’t seem like a fair exchange, so Our Hero drew his own gun and swapped a few rounds with the goblin, with a decent outcome in that the goblin assumed room temperature and Our Hero was only slightly wounded.

Seems as though the Chicago PD are going to behave themselves, and Our Hero will not be charged.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

I don’t know why I bother to scan Teh Intarwebz for this kind of thing, because there are always a few Loyal Readers out there who send me glad tidings, such as this one from the Houston area:

Harris County deputies said the man was sleeping in his car because he had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend.

Authorities said another man who may have had a pistol got into the vehicle and may not have realized the sleeping man was in the truck.

The would-be victim had what the sheriff said was an AR-15 and reportedly shot the man several times. The suspected thief was pronounced dead at the scene. Deputies said the suspect had already stolen from several nearby cars before the shooting.

The shooter reportedly stayed at the scene and was cooperating with law enforcement.

Let us all have a couple minutes’ silence for the dead goblin Our Hero’s eardrums… because nothing says owie like an AR-15 going off in a confined space with no hearing protection — well okay, the boolets (!) are going to make an owie as well at the naughty end, but that’s of no concern to us, and certainly not to the cops, who seem to have the correct attitude towards the whole episode.

“They shouldn’t be out doing it in the first place. I don’t believe that he realized that the reportee was sleeping in this truck before it was too late,” said Sgt. Ben Beall with the sheriff’s office.

One hopes that Our Hero makes a full recovery;  the dead goblin won’t, but once again that’s not a problem for anyone except him.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Alert Reader Hugh S. suggested that I might enjoy this story, and indeed I do.

In north Minneapolis, of all places:

The shooting happened around 3:37 p.m. in an alley near the intersection of Golden Valley Road and Russell Avenue North.  Police Chief Brian O’Hara said two armed suspects flanked a Mercedes SUV stopped in the alley and that both men fired their guns. One of the gunmen was found shot on the ground and was pronounced dead. Police found the second gunman nearby, determined he was a suspect and placed him under arrest.

Go ahead and read it all.  As far as I can tell, the cops are still trying to figure out who shot whom, but none of that is relevant.  There’s another dead goblin off the street, and that’s all we care about.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

The plan is, you offer a car for sale on FuckedBook MarketPlace, insisting on a cash sale.  Then, when the prospective buyer shows up with pockets bulging with the stuff, you say “Oops!  Sorry, there’s no car but we’ll take your cash anyway!”  You’ll even have a gun in case things get nasty.

Sadly for the planners in this particular case, their prospective buyer came not only with cash, but with his own gun.  Legally owned*.

So when these assholes did the shooty thing, he did the shooty thing right back and sent one of the choirboys to join the celestial one.

Even though this happened in Illinois (Peoria, not Chicago thanl goodness), the cops weren’t interested in the choirboy’s problems, and gathered around Our Hero instead, offering congratulations and attaboys for helping them manage crime in their town.  Okay, actually:

He was released without any charges.

Good enough.

*here’s what interests me:

The robbery victim who fired a shot was a legal gun owner in another state and had a license to carry the weapon from one state to another.

What is this latter license?  As far as I know, Illinois doesn’t recognize any CCPs from other states.  Can anyone enlighten me on this?