Righteous Shootings – Splendid Isolation

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

September 3, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

Don’t know how I missed this one, right here in Texas. Apparently, some choirboy decided that all he needed to rob a bank was a knife, and indeed, it kinda was. All was going to plan, except that one of the bank’s customers didn’t think that this little wealth redistribution plan was acceptable, drew his trusty carry piece and shot the fucker dead.

Lesson learned: Using a knife to rob a bank: not the best instrument, at least in a state where customers are likely armed with guns and have a proper sense of right and wrong.

(Thanks to Reader Brad, who sent this news to me from his private fortress in deep-blue Illinois — where an action such as the above would have landed Our Hero in deep trouble.)

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

September 2, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

Several Readers sent me this happy tale, thankee all:

An alleged intruder is dead after being shot multiple times by a Spartanburg County, South Carolina, homeowner around 2 a.m. Sunday morning.

Wait… multiple times?

I’d like to know a lot more details about this happy episode, e.g. the gun used, cartridge, exactly where the choirboy’s worthless hide was perforated, but I guess we’re not going to be told any of that. [pout]

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

August 19, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

So you get a protective order filed against you, but ignore that and go into the protectee’s house for whatever reason (none good, probably).

Then you get all aggressive about it and are shot dead, to the surprise (and sorrow) of absolutely nobody.

And the cops are on hand (after the fact, duh) to scoop up the corpus delicti and give a pat on the back to Our Hero. Tra-la-la.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

August 12, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

Whenever I’m talking about some scrote getting shot in the act of burgling someone’s house and threatening the homeowner, some bleeding heart always asks the question: “So you think that your TV is more valuable than someone’s life?”

The answer, of course, is that it’s not whether I think that; in fact, it’s the burglar who thinks that the TV is worth more than my life. So as we’ve established that someone thinks that a life is worth less than a TV, it might as well be me who ends the philosophical discussion.

I was reminded of this when reading this happy little tale:

A man who reportedly became angry after being denied alcohol entered a Riverton, Utah, convenience store Friday with a shotgun and was shot dead by a bystander.

Okay, that’s worth some applause all by itself.

However, when the full story is revealed:

KUTV reported the man entered the convenience store and was denied an alcohol sale because he did not have identification. He allegedly responded by confronting the clerk and was then coaxed out of the store by other customers.

KSL noted the man had become “argumentative” and “belligerent” before having to leave the store. He then got into his vehicle and drove around, only to circle back to the store and enter carrying a shotgun, according to the report.

The Gephardt Daily pointed out that an armed bystander engaged the man when he re-entered the store, fatally shooting him.

But wait! There’s MOAR!

One report indicated that two armed bystanders may have fired at the man.

Now go back to my original thesis. Think about it: This asswipe put the value of a bottle of hooch above the cashier’s life. (I know, I know: maybe he just wanted to scare the poor schlub into selling him a bottle of Old Rotgut 2-year-old; but maybe he was that angry and frustrated that he intended to blast the guy into Kingdom Come — we’ll never know.)

So Our Hero (or Heroes? O be still my beating heart) was quite within his rights to see him off; and Anger Boy found out, too late, that the booze wasn’t really worth it.

Scratch one more asshole off the list of Them Wot Needs Killin’.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

August 10, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

From sunny south Florida comes this lovely story:

A delivery food driver in Miami Gardens, Florida, managed to pull his gun and fatally shoot an alleged armed robber in self-defense around 1:40 p.m. Thursday afternoon.

The driver claimed he was delivering food when he was targeted for an alleged armed robbery. During the course of the incident, the driver pulled his gun and shot one of the suspects. Responding officers and medical personnel attempted to save the suspect’s life but he died at the hospital.

And the other scrote?

The deceased suspect has not been identified but police described the second suspect in the alleged armed robbery as 28-year-old Jabari Thomas, who is being held on no-bond at the Broward County Sheriff’s Office Jail.

Too bad Our Hero didn’t get a twofer, but let’s not let perfection be the enemy of the good, shall we?

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

June 11, 2026 Kim du Toit Righteous Shootings

From, of all places, Southern California:

The Riverside County Sheriff’s Office said a home intruder armed with a shotgun died Friday night after being shot during an exchange of gunfire with a San Jacinto, California, homeowner.

Here’s the interesting part:

During the confrontation, the suspect fired multiple rounds at the homeowner. The homeowner returned fire, striking the suspect. The homeowner was not wounded in the shootout but the alleged intruder was pronounced dead at the scene.

Well, so much for that “shotgun is better than a handgun” trope. (I’m assuming that Our Hero was using a handgun because as usual, the press report is sadly lacking in important details.) If my assumption is correct, then it drives home what I’ve been saying for years: aimed, accurate fire beats spray ‘n pray, nine times out of ten.

Which reminds me: it’s been weeks since I practiced with my bedside gun, so it’s time I remedied that situation.

So if you’ll excuse me…