Science Proves Me Right

Back in my yoot, I often made a play for a woman, and when met with the near-inevitable rebuff, I used to tease them by saying, “You know, if you don’t use it, it’s going to grow closed!”

All that said with complete ignorance of female physiology.  However:

Let’s be blunt: can a lack of sex hasten ‘vaginal atrophy’ or ‘shrinkage’ post-menopause? Yes, as it can contribute to a faster decline in vaginal elasticity.

Thank you, Science Boys, for coming to my rescue.

Of course, I hasten to add that my mocking comment never ever resulted in a change of decision by the lady thus addressed.  In fact, on one memorable occasion, I got this response:  “Well, I’d rather it grow closed than have sex with you!”

Women can be so cruel…

The Missing Candidates

So wannabe-Texas Senator James Talarico (Raving Loony Party) has been conspicuous by his absence from the campaign trail recently, and we’re supposed to be surprised by this?

Allow me to explain why we shouldn’t be.

Talarico has distinguished himself by making statements — sometimes off prepared speeches and sometimes by off-the-cuff remarks — that are in turn breathtakingly stupid, vapid, childish, muddled and offensive:  and sometimes all five simultaneously.

So of course the Democratic-Socialist-Muslim-LGBTQ-Green candidate has to be hidden from view before the November election, lest his positions (such as they are) piss off Texas voters to such an extent that they give him a severe thrashing at the polls.

May I remind y’all that this was the same reason that the comatose Joe Biden was once likewise secreted from public view, lest the voters see just how vegetative the senile then-President really was.

And it almost worked.

It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now.  And before anyone thinks that, like Biden before him, Talarico can get elected through massive voter fraud, let me remind everyone that we’re not talking about Illinois or California here.

Talarico is going to get whipped in November.  Texans are many things, but they ain’t stupid, and certainly not that stupid as to elect a hopeless no-regard nutcase like Talarico to the U.S. Senate.

Quote Of The Day

“The people who once gave us $6 per gallon diesel now want to be elected because diesel is $6 per gallon.” — Luis Gonzalez

Follow the link to find the real reason for today’s high gas and diesel prices.

Ugh (2)

Me:  O foul pestilence, desist I beseech thee with thine afflictions;  the sore throat, the hacking cough, the fuzzy head wracked with pain, the nose running its foul essence down the back of the throat.  Desist, I say!

Pestilence:  Nah.  Here, have some joint pain and muscle stiffness as well.

Maybe tomorrow.

Bad Math, Bad Service

Let’s wander off into yet another debate about tipping (“gratuities” WTF).

Here’s something that should make everyone’s ears prick up:

A Texas Roadhouse customer has reignited the tipping debate after spotting a major issue with the automated calculation.

Recording the clip from his table as he zoomed in on the payment machine, he explained: “I’m at Texas Roadhouse, is my math off?  Because 20 percent of $66 is not fucking $16.”

The receipt on the screen showed that his order had come to $66.66.  He had then selected the standard 20 percent tipping option which showed added $16.28, rather than the expected $13.33, to take his total up to $82.94.

And the unexpected $2.95 extra left the content creator scratching his head.  He wrote a simple caption that read: “What’s going on here Texas Roadhouse?”

I never ever use the auto-tip function when paying for a meal, simply because I have no control over what happens to the tip amount — supposedly given to the server, but all too often either partially- or wholly pocketed by the manager, or shared with the other restaurant staff.

Sorry, but I’m only interested in tipping the waiter or waitress (“server” WTF) a decent amount when the service has been exemplary.  And I pay cash directly into the waiter’s hand so that he gets to keep all of it.

On a parallel theme, this one about the so-called “Texas” Roadhouse chain.

I say “Texas” because the parent company is based in Kansas, not Texas, and as with all chains, your experience in them will vary greatly depending on where you are.

Clutching our TR gift card in hand (thankee friend for the gift), New Wife and I once went to the one nearest our home for a free meal, and the whole experience was excellent:  food served hot and in good time, great service, friendly waitress and so on.

So when we found ourselves out of town a little while ago and had few (okay, two) choices for “out” food, we picked the local Texas Roadhouse largely because of our previous meal at the other one.

Oy.  We should have gone to the IHOP.

Nearly an hour’s wait*, indifferent service — food arrived late, order incomplete and the frozen margeritas which arrived midway through the meal, and only after a reminder to the waiter… and let me not even speak of the unbelievable noise in the place.

Okay, let me speak of the unbelievable noise in the place.  Since when did the celebration of a birthday or other special occasion become something that involves the entire fucking restaurant?  Loud, raucous singing of “Happy Birthday” accompanied by hammering on tables and thereafter much joyous screaming:  I’ve had quieter times at an indoor shooting range.  And by the way, all this happened over a backdrop of thunderous, earsplitting Nashville-style country music and the usual shouting of the other patrons.  (From the movie The Long Riders  comes the memorable Cole Younger quote:  “Texans sure are loud!”)

And I had no hearing protection, either, although I should have.

So when confronted by the auto-tip thing on the table-top electronic menu thing (no paper menus WTF), I promptly hit the “0%” button, and we walked out without leaving any kind of tip to the waiter whatsoever.  (In his defense, I should mention that most of his time was spent chatting up one of the waitresses:  a far more pleasurable activity than, you know, serving customers.)

So file my next visit to Texas Roadhouse under “NEVER”.


*In the normal course of events, we never wait longer than a few minutes to be seated, at any restaurant because frankly, no food — no matter how apparently special — will be worth the wait. When we arrive at a restaurant and are told the wait will be more than five minutes, we leave and find somewhere else.

That we had been forced by circumstance to wait for nearly an hour at Texas Roadhouse before being subjected to the horrorshow as described above just made us all the angrier.

Missing Pieces

Ahem.

Kate Garraway and Jenni Falconer pay tribute to
the late Dolly Parton in cowgirl-themed ensemble

Sorry, ladies.  While I admit to having quite the crush on both of you, you’re severely deficient in at least one department in the “tribute” attempt.  But full marks for trying and in fairness, there aren’t that many women who could measure up to Dolly, so to speak.

And of course there are no pics because #CopyrightHucksterAssholeLawyers.