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And in other news that leaves a bad taste in your mouth:

…

…maybe if you hadn’t invaded Ukraine…?

…hands up those who’d prefer to see Sweden and Finland in NATO instead of Turkey — hmmm… all of you, huh?

…the competition to see how many tampons someone can fit into their mouth will begin in 3…2…1…

…as I told the officer during the Girl Scout Incident Of 1989.

…there are so many reasons not to order a Diet Coke at any time, e.g. it tastes like shit, makes you thirstier and has as much effect on your weight as a Classic Coke — so its extra fizziness is just a bonus.
Great Moments In Medicine:

…or as we call it in Murka, a “Clinton Suicide”.

…thus proving that shit movies can be bad for your health.

…or, more succinctly: Get Woke, Get Fucked.

…in order of importance: dogs, chocolate, heat-sensitive explosive devices, soft plastic items, babies.
And in no-link INSIGNIFICA:

Finally:

…I report, you decide:



And that, as they say in the Anglosphere, is the news.