Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

When you hear news like this, you just know it’s going to have a happy ending:

“10-4 units responding to the burglary in progress, 22nd Avenue caller now advising it was a black male wearing a white shirt armed with a firearm. The caller now advises she has shot that male; he is currently laying on the ground.”

Ignoring the grammar — it’s “lying”, not “laying” — the rest of the story appears to be that a choirboy broke into an Alabama woman’s house armed with a gun, only to discover that said Heroine was likewise armed and quite prepared to defend herself.  Which she did, to his detriment.

Of course, the choirboy was just some innocent kid — not.

Morgan County Coroner Jeff Chunn identified the male as 46-year-old Narado Brinkley, and WZDX said his criminal past includes drug and burglary convictions.

State records show Brinkley served time for offenses, including first-degree robbery, third-degree burglary, possession of a pistol by a convicted felon, and distribution of a controlled substance, WZDX noted.

His records also indicate multiple probation violations, and he most recently served five months after a 2023 conviction on drug and burglary counts, WZDX added.

So maybe not some pore lil’ choirboy, but a total asshole not worthy of any sympathy whatsoever.

There should be some reward — I mean actual money — offered to people who end up ridding society of such scum.  Feel free to disagree with me, but you’d be wrong.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

…in which we debate the use of the word “alleged”.

But first, the salient details of the case:

An alleged armed intruder died around 1:45 a.m. Sunday on the back porch of a Pierce County, Washington, home after a homeowner shot him.

KOMO News reported the homeowner called 911 to inform them he had shot an alleged intruder. Pierce County Sheriff’s Deputies arrived on scene to find a 36-year-old suspect “with a single gunshot wound on the back porch.”
[cue applause for excellent shot placement]

Now I understand that everyone has to use the word “alleged” in matters like this, because the “alleged” dead guy had not been proven to be an intruder in a court of law.

In this case, however, the Corpus Delicti isn’t ever going to court, unless they rename cemeteries as such.  And then there’s this:

KING5 quoted Sheriff’s Office PIO officer Carly Cappetto saying, “In the surveillance video, it does show that suspect had a gun in his hand and was actively banging on [the] back door of that homeowner in a fully fenced backyard.”

Seems like pretty conclusive evidence that said “suspect” was indeed intruding — unless Our Hero had given him permission to climb over the backyard fence, which seems unlikely;  and similarly, the soon-to-be-dead asshole was carrying a gun, which in any place not named Boston or London might seem to indicate that he was dangerous, and therefore worthy of shooting — unless he simply wanted Our Hero to help him clean the thing, which also seems unlikely.

I should point out that when I report on Righteous Shootings, I often edit the headlines or text to remove these silly little qualifiers (like “suspected” or “alleged”) because they’re pointless and are there only to appease the Powdered Wig types in the public defenders’ office.

In situations like the above Blessed Event, however, such qualifiers are just unnecessary.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Just south of Chicago in Joliet, some choirboy armed himself with a screwdriver and some evil intent, and broke into a house occupied by a young woman and her little daughter.  Not knowing his intentions but making a good guess about them, the young mother shot the asshole in the head, sending his already-low IQ to zero and his body temperature to room-level.

Because this was in Joliet and not in the City Of Chicago, the police apparently muttered a couple of complimentary words about her fine placement, then did their job and carted the corpus delicti  off to the crematorium or wherever.

And if this story and its happy ending does not give you the Warm & Fuzzies, then we can’t be friends.

Many thanks to Reader Brad_In_IL for the link.


A few notes:  in some jurisdictions, Our Heroine would have been in trouble for her actions, using “disproportionate force” (whatever that means) — like she should have rummaged around in a toolbox and found a screwdriver to protect herself instead of using an eeeevil gun.  I know;  that sounds so stupid, but that is nevertheless the attitude of law enforcement and/or government in those places.

In the United States of America, however, we do not share the sentiments of Massachusetts and New York, never mind Britishland and other gun-fearing shitholes of similar inclination.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Oh lookee, a twofer:

One from King County WA (Seattle area!) and another in Phoenix AZ:

An alleged intruder in King County, Washington, died after a woman opened fire on around 2 a.m. Monday morning.  The woman called the King County Sheriff’s Office and told them she shot a man was allegedly trying to enter her home.

Deputies arrived to find an unconscious man lying in the driveway. The wounded suspect died later in a hospital.

Then:

A Phoenix, Arizona, homeowner shot and killed an alleged burglar Sunday morning shortly before 8 a.m. The homeowner shot the alleged burglar while on a 911 call with police.

I love the smell of dead goblin in the morning.  It smells like… justice.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

If you’re anything like me, you’ll be wanting a cigarette after reading this lovely little story — even if like me you don’t smoke.

An intruder who used brass knuckles to beat against a front door and break a window just before midnight Friday in Missouri was shot multiple times by the homeowner and killed.

KFVS 12 reported that the homeowner, Austin Glastetter, was in the house with his wife at the time of the incident.

Glastetter told the suspect, 31-year-old John Fisher, that he was armed, but Fisher allegedly responded by saying, “You’ll have to kill me.”

Wait, wait, hold it in for just a minute…

Glastetter then shot Fisher multiple times.

And:

The Scott County Sheriff’s Office issued a release noting that deputies arrived on the scene to find Fisher deceased.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em…