Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Here’s the story.  You’re treating an apartment complex’s parking lot as your own personal racetrack.  Some residents tell you to quit, because there are kids playing in the area.

You take umbrage at this infringement on your liberties and drive off, fetch your trusty AR-15 and start popping off at a crowd of people hanging out in said parking lot.  Being a lousy shot as well as a terrible driver, you miss everybody.

Then some woman decides to return fire with her handgun, whereupon you lose all interest in the proceedings because she’s a better shot than you, and you’re bleeding to death in your car.

I think I got all the salient details, but go here just in case.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Don’t you just love it when tough old broads take care of much-younger assholes in a righteous manner?

A 70-year-old woman said she fired a warning shot after a stranger walked into her home Sunday afternoon and wouldn’t leave, before ultimately shooting him. The man died at the hospital.

Right on, Gammy.  Although the warning shot was an unnecessary precaution… still:

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Here’s how to be merciful:

A DeKalb County, Indiana, homeowner opened fire on four alleged robbers around 6 a.m. Sunday, killing two of them.

WPTA reports that the homeowner was asleep in his house when his dog’s barking awoke him. He then “saw three people in his home, later identified as 42-year-old Tabitha L. Johnson, Dylan Morefield…[and Rameica Moore].”

The homeowner claimed two of the people threatened him, allegedly holding a gun to his head.

After allegedly gathering a number of things to steal from the homeowner the robbers demanded money. He wrote them a check and was then able to get his hands on a shotgun and open fire.

His shotgun blasts killed Morefield and Moore.

He then walked Johnson outside the home at gunpoint, where he found a fourth alleged robber and held that individual at gunpoint as well.

Of course, he should have been able to whack all four;  but hey, I’ll take felony murder for the surviving goblins.

LOL looks as though you need more than four people to rob a house in rural Indiana…

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

This one has everything:  a naked man, a riding mower, an elderly couple and an excellent outcome.

A Georgia homeowner fatally shot a naked man who tackled his 67-year-old wife off a riding lawnmower and then began attacking both of them.

One would think that any goblin would think twice before trying this on in rural Georgia, but then again, goblins are not generally PhD candidates.


Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

There are just not enough “alleged”s in this happy story, so I’ve added a few:

An alleged intruder was fatally shot Thursday morning in Houston, Texas, after entering a home and [allegedly] opening a bedroom door.   The [alleged] incident occurred around 1 a.m., ABC 13 reported.

Police indicated the homeowner was sleeping on the second floor when he [allegedly] heard glass break. The alleged intruder then entered the home, came upstairs, opened the bedroom door, and the homeowner shot him in the neck.

The alleged intruder fled the home and went to a neighbor’s house, telling them he had [allegedly] been shot and seeking medical help.

I can already hear your groans, because the paramedics arrived in the nick of time and saved the alleged scrote’s life, right?

Nazzo fast:

However, time ran out while he was at the neighbor’s house and the alleged intruder died.

He didn’t die, he just ran out of blood.

Needless to say, even though this allegedly happened in Houston, Our Hero is not facing any charges.

And had this happened anywhere else in Texas, there’s a good chance the neighbor would also have shot the bastard, dripping blood all over the Persian like that.