Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

One more time:

Homicide Unit detectives are investigating a self-defense claim following Saturday’s 3:30 a.m. fatal shooting of DeCarlos Groves, 25, inside the Corner Mart, 2600 Clarksville Pike.

A review of the store’s video surveillance shows Groves producing a handgun during an apparent robbery attempt. Groves then jumped over the counter, landing on top of the store clerk, Peter Fang, 20. Fang retrieved a weapon from his shirt pocket which discharged as Groves landed on him, striking Groves. As the struggle continued, additional shots were fired from Fang’s gun and Groves fell to the floor. Fang called police. Groves died at the scene.

Not to prejudice the thing, of course, but “Guess The Scumbag’s Efnicity” will be a slam-dunk.

Given the clear video evidence of the event, Our Hero will be sent on his way with an attaboy from the po-po.  And from my Readers, too.

5 comments

  1. If this happened about 1000 times per day in a few years the whole species might become tolerable.

    Nah, what was I thinking?
    They’ll never be tolerable.

  2. “As the struggle continued, additional shots were fired from Fang’s gun”

    Sort of weird use of passive voice there. Are they so used to using “blame the gun” language when it’s the scumbag doing the shooting that they can’t bring themselves to say “Fang fired more shots?”

    1. Yes, because it’s the guns and not the people that are the problem. It doesn’t have to be grammatically correct or even make sense, it just has to fit the narrative. Doesn’t matter who the shooter is. Guns fire themselves somehow.

      Now, can someone explain what gun fits in a “shirt pocket”?

  3. Good. Committing crimes like theft and robbery etc should become very, very dangerous to the criminals. Then they’ll find another line of work

    JQ

  4. Nashville PD is still blaming car thefts on leaving the keys in the car and firearms thefts on firearms being left in the cars.

    Nashville PD, maybe there wouldn’t be so many guns left in cars if there weren’t so many “No Guns” signs in our fair city.

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