Category: Punks

Compendium Of Wrong

Law and Order, Punks

It’s difficult to imagine just how much more could have gone wrong in this situation:

Jay Conway, 33, was spotted dealing drugs by two plain-clothed officers in a park in May.

They tried to apprehend him but he got away before another uniformed officer, who was on patrol in a police car nearby heard a radio alert and took up the chase.

Dramatic bodycam footage shows brave Constable Dan Clayton hauling Conway off a stolen push bike, before pulling out his taser and ordering him to “Get on the floor now.”

But Conway, who was wearing a balaclava, ignores him and instead pulls a loaded pistol out of his sock.

Conway is immediately tasered but, as he falls to the ground, he points the gun directly at Constable Clayton, who can be heard shouting, “No, no” and “gun, gun, gun,” as he sprints for cover.

Of course, all my Murkin Readers are no doubt going “WTF?  Why didn’t the cop just shoot the asshole dead when he pulled the gun?”

If I were to tell you that this didn’t happen in the U.S. but in Britishland, then it all becomes clear.

Pro tip:  If a scrote points a gun at you, the correct response should be “Blam! Blam! Blam! [repeat as necessary] ” and not “No! No! No!”

If, however, your police force refuses to provide you with a “Blam! Blam! Blam!” option, perhaps you should reconsider your career choice.

Just sayin’.

New York Story

Punks

You may want to watch this video first, for context…

Back in the mid-90s, I was living in North Joizee, and one Sunday we decided to to take the family over to Manhattan for some window-shopping, food and just breathe in the atmosphere of the City.  I’d been there many times before, and Connie had actually lived in Chinatown for a while, several years earlier.

Anyway, we were walking through Greenwich Village after lunch at some diner or other, when I spotted from some distance away a young guy walking towards us, showing the same kind of attitude as The Verve’s Richard Ashcroft in the video, bumping carelessly into people and in general acting like a total asshole.

So I quietly told Connie to get behind me and shepherd the kids towards the shop window and away from the street.  She could tell from my attitude that something was about to happen, but as a one-time New Yorker she had street smarts and didn’t argue the point.

I watched this guy getting closer, and adjusted my position slightly towards the middle of the sidewalk, more or less in line with his approach.  Then about two steps before he got close, I looked to my right as though window-shopping, and braced myself.  Actually, I didn’t just brace myself:  I leaned forward and hardened my stance.  I might even have pushed forward a little.

So we collided.  But instead of Mr. Attitude carrying on like nothing had happened, he bounced off me and flew off the sidewalk, smashing into a parked car and falling heavily to the ground.

I didn’t even look round, just carried on walking, but I heard Connie giggle, “Whoa… well, he had that coming.”

I fucking hate antisocial self-centered punks.  My only regret after all these years is that I wasn’t in that video to dole out the same treatment to Richard Ashcroft.

Always loved the song, though.