Category: Funny Stuff

Seen at Don Surber’s place, this tongue-in-cheek poll:

There are two points to be made here.  Surber points out, correctly, that Alberta ain’t Alabama.  Albertans are only conservative compared to, say, their Ontario compatriots.  Adding AB to the U.S. would give the Socialist Party two new U.S. Senators and several U.S. House seats.  This, by the way, is true of all the Canucki fiefdoms (“Fiefdoms, Kim?”  Remember that the actual political leader of Canada — albeit of the rubber-stamp variety — is King Charles III, as Surber also points out).

In the larger sense, this is also true of Cuba, Venezuela and any of our neighboring countries — they’re all frigging Commies, and we sure as hell don’t need more of them in our blessed Republic.  So, as my old friend Patterson would say, fuck that idea for a bowl of cherries.

And as much as the last suggestion (de-stating Minnesota) may seem appealing, that opens Pandora’s Box of Nastiness, because then we’d have to consider the idea of doing the same to (deep breath) California, Massachusetts, Illinois and New York.  (Also, as attractive as it may seem at first, we should forget throwing out New Mexico unless we want an actual Mexican Salient sticking into our underbelly.)

Nah.  Let’s keep all the kiddies in the house, so to speak, and just control their behavior the old-fashioned way:  by whacking their little pee-pees, politically speaking, whenever they get too obstreperous.