Double Entry

Men & Women

No, this isn’t about bookkeeping.  It’s about a woman who has a condition known as “uterus didelphys”, which in layman’s [sic]  terms means she has a twofer in terms of her reproductive organs:  two uteruses, two sets of Fallopian tubes and yes, two vaginas.  (For the language puristi, note that I wrote “uteruses” and not “uteri”, or else I’d have had to write “vaginae” instead of “vaginas”.  I’m striving for consistency, here.)

Anyway, she uses her didelphism to justify the fact that while she has two boyfriends, she allows each one to penetrate only “their” specific vagina and therefore technically she is “not cheating” on them.  As she so charmingly puts it:

“They both have their own vagina, so they only have sex with that one.”

(As an aside, I am driven to wonder how she handles that separation when it comes to cunnilingus, and also whether each vagina also has its own little “man-in-the-boat”, but let’s not be diverted.)

Given how often womyns call foul on men who cheat on them by saying, “she means nothing to me, it’s only sex”, I am led to wonder whether our little strumpet is in love with one of her tame penises (not “penes”, see above) and is just using the other for sex;  or (more likely) whether she’s just using both for sex and/or getting an income from two streams, so to speak.

I report, you decide.

Or, if you’re like me, you can go and throw up now, while wondering — and not for the first time — when the fuck [sic]  topics like this became part of the public discourse.

10 comments

  1. Ha! Ok – i’m thinking you wrotes (note I didn’t say writes) this post just to enumerate the proper use of “uteruses”.. because how often does that come up in causal conversation if you aren’t a gynecologist? “penises” not so much..

    1. You give me too much credit. I was just fascinated by the “double vagina” concept. Two sexy for words.

  4. https://www.etymonline.com/word/octopus

    “The classically correct Greek plural (had the word been used in this sense in ancient Greek) would be octopodes. Octopi (1817) regards the -us in this word as the Latin noun ending that takes -i in plural. Like many modern scientific names of creatures, it was formed in Modern Latin from Greek elements, so it might be allowed to partake of Latin grammar in forming the plural. But it probably is best to let such words follow the grammar of the language that uses them, and octopuses probably works best in English (unless one wishes also to sanction diplodoci for the dinosaurs).”

    I was once acquainted with a guy who was pretty passionate about this. He had a dedicated facial tic just for “octopi”.

  5. You should, in all fairness, investigate the bloke with two penises. I when I say he doubly blessed…well, you’ll have to see the pictures for yourself.

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