Turns that occasionally-funny Brit comedian Russell Brand has been a Naughty Boy:  shagging women all over the place, molesting women on set, hosting orgies, groping strange women… all the stuff that makes Teh Wimmynz angry.

Golly, if only there had been some kind of clue,,,

I remember him being interviewed by two stern TV female journos on, I think, Faux News.  As much as they tried to shame him, or make him look like a fool, he just overpowered them with wit and savage mockery.

At the end of the interview both women gave identical statements:

Then there’s this tragic tale… try not to giggle.

Women just love a Bad Boy, and our Russ is now being pilloried for actually being one.

Noise And Sighing

Here’s something in the Daily Mail  that I actually agree with:

Ignore this hyped-up nonsense about women’s sex lives

Turn on the TV or flick through the pages of any glossy magazine and you’ll get the impression that women in their 50s and beyond barely have time to catch their breath between steamy sex sessions with their (more or less) significant others.

Visions of flowerbeds abandoned, knitting unattended, reading glasses discarded, Marks & Spencer shapewear scattered underfoot as the nation’s menopausal matriarchs maintain meaningful dialogue with their nether regions. The only trouble is, it’s all hyped-up nonsense. This notion that our sex lives begin at 50 is not borne out by the facts.

And while I don’t doubt that Carol Vorderman et al are having a super time boudoir-wise, for most women the reality is rather less thrilling.

A survey of 5,000 Brits has found that 47 per cent of women aged 50 to 54 had not enjoyed any intimacy in the previous three weeks, rising to 52 per cent for those in their late 50s. Among women in their early 60s, that figure rose to two-thirds.

Three weeks?  Among women of my approximate vintage, I’ll wager that the time period can be measured more accurately in months — except that most people lie like Clintons about their sex lives.  They may be too ashamed that the last time they had any nookie was New Year’s Eve, and even then it was more like a drunken fumble before both participants passed out.  So when asked the question, they’ll cross their fingers and say “Quite recently, actually.”

Considering that most of the women in Sarah Vine’s article can most charitably be described as whores (media, attention-seeking, gold-digging, power-chasing whatever), it doesn’t surprise me that their concomitant sex lives with toyboys, ageing billionaires and their male celebrity counterparts are going off like alarm clocks.

And still more to the point:  when did the details of people’s sex lives become anyone else’s business?  I know it pays to advertise, and if I know anything about men — and I do — it’s obvious that by these women blaring out the workouts that their well-trodden pudenda are willing to offer, at least some guys are going to go after the well-aged honey in those wrinkly pots.

But as Mrs. Vine points out, that’s not the way to bet when considering normal, non-celebrity women.

The Two-Front War

It was always a nightmare for the German generals’ war plans:  having to fight a war in both the West (against France, Britain etc.) and in the East (Russia).  Once in that situation, Germany was always going to lose as it lacked both the resources and the stamina to win both simultaneously — although they gave it a good old college try in WWI, and might actually have succeeded had they not been shackled to the hopeless and hapless Austro-Hungarians, and pissed off the Americans.

But I’m not here to talk about history.  What gave rise to the above is this little snippet:

A bigamist former soldier’s double life was exposed when his daughter from one of his marriages messaged his second wife on Facebook asking what her connection to him was.

Jason Hayter, 48, had five children with his two wives and lived with one family in Germany, where he was stationed with the Army, and visited the other in the UK.

Neither woman knew about the other as he explained his lengthy absences on being away with the Army and, after he left, training as a paramedic, or on mental health problems.

Mental health problems?  Speaking as one who has raised only one family (okay, maybe two, but in series rather than in parallel), I can quite imagine that having to deal simultaneously with two wives, each with children, would drive any man around the bend — especially when secrecy has to be maintained.

I can see the attraction of having a wife and family and a mistress, provided that she’s French (like Mitterrand’s Anne Pingeot) and understands the rules — FFS, his wife and mistress not only both attended his funeral but stood side by side at his graveside.

That, I can understand.  But to actually marry two women in parallel?

Our buddy the bigamist has been sentenced to seven years in jail — a blessed relief for him, to be sure — and I bet he’ll be the only prisoner in history to argue against his own parole.  Anything to get away from Wife Squared.  (And it is indeed squared, not doubled, as any man with experience will testify.)

Boats, Floating Thereof, Whatever

Here’s a happy little tale of how a couple decided to jump the gun, so to speak:

A couple have revealed that the secret to their happy and strong relationship is allowing each other to sleep with other people. Zoe Grey, 31 and her partner Matt, 36, live together in Cambridgeshire with the four children they have between them. Former soldier Matt, who had been cheated on by previous partners, initiated the conversation with Zoe about starting an open relationship. Keen to experiment [I bet she was — K.], Zoe agreed, and she admits she’s never been in a healthier relationship.  “There is so much trust between us. The fact we can have fun with other people eliminates the worry of cheating, lying, and sneaking around. The connection we have together is so strong, and our relationship is so solid.”


Zoe continued: “After a couple of months of doing this, I told Matt that I also wanted him to have fun with other women and let me know about it, and now we have a fully open relationship and have fun with other people together. At first, he was shocked that I wanted him to do it too. It was alien territory for him, and he was nervous when we first went to a club, but now we have the most amazing relationship and we are happier than we have ever been.”

There was a time when I would have got all bent out of shape by stuff like this, but as the title of this post indicates, I don’t care anymore,

My prediction, however, is that this little menage-à-plusieurs  is going to end in tears, and the four kids are the ones who will end up suffering — all so that their feckless parents can fuck other people without guilt.

In the interests of full disclosure, however, here are a few pics of said sexual explorers:

Quite a banging [sic]  bod for someone who’s popped four sprogs… but then again, the real question arises:

Why do people have to advertise life choices like this to all and sundry?  Couldn’t they just have gone on in private with none being the wiser?

But no:  I guess this is par for the course among the Tik-Tok attention-seeking generation of Millennials these days. More’s the pity.

HOW Much?

I am not a wealth envy-kinda guy, and I generally have no problem with people going after money… but yikes:

Kevin Costner’s estranged wife Christine Baumgartner is awarded $129,000 per month child support – just HALF the amount she demanded – amid VERY ugly divorce war

Do they have a dozen kids that need supporting?  Indeed not:

The former couple share three children: sons Cayden, 16; and Hayes, 14; along with their younger daughter Grace, 13.

They will also be splitting expenses down the middle for the kids’ pricey private school tuition, as well as their extracurricular activities, which includes sports.

Baseball gloves from Gucci, tennis shoes from Jimmy Choo, Tiffany reading lamps, leather-bound autographed first-edition school text books, diamond-encrusted tennis racquets from Fabergé:  I’m amazed that the amount was pushed down to a lousy $129k per month from the $500k / month (!) she’d been seeking.

Here’s what gets in my craw.  If this gold-digging whore (thank you, Mr. William Burr) had been the wife who helped ol’ Kevin become this movie star, I might — might — be a little more sympathetic towards her “needs”.  But no:  Costner ditched his first wife (who had supported him through the lean years before stardom) and went on to marry Wife #2, this tree-gardener woman (after shagging women of the Elle McPherson ilk).

So in a sense, I guess he got what was coming to him, eventually.

I’m just astonished that he could actually afford to pay $129k per month, but then again he’s a big Hollywood star.  (And just to be clear, I actually like him as an actor, and know quite a bit about his background because my late wife Connie was very briefly his agent, back in her Hollywood days.)

The sums of money just make my head spin.

Equitable Income

The feministicals are always talking the “income disparity” or “wage gap” between men and women — i.e. that men are paid more than women for doing the same job.  (It’s bullshit, of course, but run with me on this one.)

Well, that’s not true of all jobs.

Let’s take… oh, OnlyFans for example.  Here’s an example (sent by Reader Mike L, thankee)  of how a fairly plain-looking woman was able to pay for her roof repairs simply by posting a few saucy pics of herself on said roof (sample pic below).

Now I don’t have a garage roof needing repair, but had I gone to OnlyFans and posted a few pics of myself in a bathing suit on top of a roof, does anyone think that I could have raised $10,000 — or, for that matter, 10,000 cents, even?

(me looking all Afrikaans, with sjambok*)

I think it’s unfair that women should have access to this kind of disparate income opportunity and men don’t, so I call on the federal government to pass laws to ensure the equalization of income between men and women on websites such as OnlyFans.

Fairness in all things, right?

*And I apologize for any feelings of extreme nausea caused  by the second pic.