When Does It Become Obscene?

Surfing on a bellyboard along the waves of Teh Intarwebz, I was struck by something, and not for the first time.

Readers of this corner will of course be familiar with golf hottie Paige Spirinac, who possesses quite possibly one of the best female bodies around, as evidenced in these pics:

Now here’s the thing.  While young Paige’s derrière is by no means underrepresented, it’s not by any means over-large, e.g.

So why have huge buttocks become a thing?

Maybe the trend started with screechy pop star Jennifer Lopez:

… and was amplified [sic]  by the awful Kim Kardashian (who has never been slow to ride a trend, so to speak):

It seems, however, that this trend has no upper limit — and I speak not of all-over fatties like Lizzo, but of “Playboy models” like this one:

It’s been decades since I looked at a Playboy, but if this is the trend of their models, it will be decades more before I do it again, if ever.  Horrible.

Another example is “plus-size” model Ashley Graham, who despite having an exquisitely-beautiful face, has a backside that would fill a school bus:

Among African tribes, a large pair of buttocks is a feature of attractiveness, because it speaks not only of fertility but also of the owner thereof being well nourished (a source of pride for their husbands as providers).

But that’s in Africa.  We live in the West, and have a European standard of beauty.  And I speak not of ultra-skinnies and the like (that being more a creation of homosexual fashion designers), but of women who have proportional statistics.

Here’s actress Sasha Alexander, for instance, who has what I would consider a decent set of proportions:

Note:  no inflated breasts, nor a bulbous backside.  Another example?  Sure, why not?  Here’s the rather Mumsy-looking Laura Hamilton, who in in her forties and has two kids:

Let me say in summary that I’m not asking for women to strive for some impossible ideal of beauty:  anything but.

What I’m asking for is proportion, and not grotesqueries.

And yes, I’m familiar with the contradiction of all the above, considering that  pneumatic sexagenarian Carol Vorderman often appears on my back porch:

…as does the equally-balloony Kelly Brook:

What can I say?  I’m a sucker for a pretty face.


  1. That one of Ms. Spirinac mid-windup, with her leg muscles all showy… God Almighty… round up the boys and let’s go conquer Troy…

  2. I prefer small, firm, neat bottoms, but I’m not at all put off by big round ones either.

    What I find horrible is the overall fatties like that thing Lizzo.

  3. “When Does It Become Obscene?”
    Yes of course, proportion, in almost all things.
    Too much of almost anything is obscene.

    The exceptions would be:
    Ammo and guns and weapons in general
    Guitars and amps and accessories
    Freezers full of good quality foods
    Feel free to add whatever you think…

    1. My wife told me that recently one of her tennis buddies said that she (my wife) spends an “obscene amount of time at the firing range.” My wife said, “What?”

  4. Ghetto culture run amuck.

    Face facts, there’s a significant portion of humanity who’ll follow any stupid trend if they see some celebrity doing it first. For example, I don’t know that there’s any man out there who actually thinks a nose ring is attractive on a woman, but there’s plenty of women who get nose rings. Why? Stupidity, mostly. Stupid enough to get butt implants since most white women don’t have the necessary genetics to grow an ass that big.

    And the general worship of ghetto culture is trashing our society. Not trying to be racist, just saying that adopting cultural trends of the poorest, most uneducated, and most crude segment of the population does not enhance the rest of the population. Rap music, sagging pants, backwards baseball caps and now horrendously over-sized buttocks? Enough is enough.

    1. I blame OJ. His lawyer Robert Kardashian is the reason that hjs daughters first started to get any press coverage. That attracted the rap producers and Basketball players who are apparently genetically attracted to that body shape. ( … and because they are the only ones who can afford those entiltled spoiled bimbos. ) it been down hill ever since.

    2. Exactly. I came to say that when Kim wrote “Among African tribes, a large pair of buttocks is a feature of attractiveness…” he answered his own question. Why we let the most savage, least advanced among us drive our culture is beyond me.

  5. Couldn’t agree more, Kim. I intensely dislike this current “fad”, cheerfully exaggerated by the wearing of skintight exercise pants everywhere. And as for the ‘prosthetic’ underwear now available for women, with a padded arse …

    For my tastes, Amy Adams (https://cdn.fansshare.com/image/amyadams/amy-adams-night-the-museum-jacket-night-at-the-museum-830742276.jpg) has one of the nicest butts around. Mind you, the front-on look’s not too bad either (https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a3L160e_700bwp.webp).

  6. I too Second Sasha – fine balance of curves and flats. Wife has a nice rear, but two kids and a desk job and its stress are not doing nice things. I beg her to go to the gym (or even walk) with me, but get “I’m too tired after a long day….”

    Lizzo’s problem is of her own making – she does elbow-curls, but not weights. Girl is running to major health issues, and her caboose should have its own ZIP-code, like other rear-endowed creatures. Plus she has a caravan of willing enablers who’ll feed her ego, and her mouth Cheeto’s and M&M’s.

    My dad always said that – “If its a big enough track of land in the back-forty, it should have its own ZIP-code….”

  7. Im a male. My ass has always been “overlarge” and solid (no jiggle). So buying a pair of pants is an operation. A lot of these gals probably grew these backsides the old fashioned way, thru genetics, and I don’t see it as a particularly off-putting trend overall.

    However squeezing your 50lbs of shit into a 5lbs sack of clothing is not an overly classy move. Some can pull it off, you hambeests at WalMart, can’t. If you have to ask if you can, you can’t.

  8. I did a fair amount of photography for the web, not usually people, mostly buildings. Photoshop is an important tool for editing, it allows you to remove a rubbish bin or a stop sign, change the lighting, retouch a window. You get pretty good at noticing other people’s edits, too. I think the one you said was a Playboy model had been enhanced, they are too round, too out of proportion, and a little too smooth. Might be wrong, but I expect that any model or actress that has a picture published on the web has someone making sure that things look their best.

  9. Kim: “What I’m asking for is proportion,…”

    I agree completely, Kim. It’s why I dislike the “massive mammary” look on a lot of women. A decent “B” cup looks good on most women, but a lot of models go completely overboard with breast enhancements and giant tits that look unnatural and unattractive – to me at least.

  10. I have no idea why Kim Kardashian or the rest of her litter are popular at all. Their butts are huge and they need backup alarms and lights on them for safety. Unfortunately the lights will draw attention to those zip code deserving derrieres. Perhaps Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” started this trend of bulbous rear ends.


  11. No one in the thread has yet mentioned Brazil and its butt culture. In Brazil the female butt is the main attraction – – any photos of the annual Carnival will make this instantly apparent, and butt implants are big business in Brazil.

  12. In Africa, there will always be another famine. Therefore, the ideal baby-mama is carrying visual evidence that she’ll be able to continue feeding your unborn or recently born baby in a famine.

    The problem isn’t so much carrying that taste over to a civilized nation, but that in a nation that has grown food surpluses every year for at least two centuries, it’s become possible to go past that healthy bodily indication, to a grossly exaggerated and unhealthy overage.

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