Today’s Roundup is as long as John Holmes, so let’s get stuck in like he did.
…so in other words, just like it was before we invaded the place twenty years, thousands of American lives and a trillion dollars ago. How nice. And in related news:
…yeah, when we get round to compensating the families of American people mistakenly killed by our own cops raiding the wrong address, then we can talk. So sorry to sound heartless, but fuck you.
In Election News:
…oh what the hell, why should we be the only North Americans to suffer from a shit government?
…who do they think they are? Michigan Democrats?
…“return”? What’s Angela Merkel, bread pudding?
…under what definition of “cowardice” does “one man attacks three cops” fall?
…why would the Magyars be listening to Romney? Nobody in the U.S. does.
…and the results soon follow:
…nice one, Gammy.
…we all agree, except that you live in Britishland so you’re wasting your time.
…in the spirit of Anglo-American friendship, we should send FBI-has-been James Comey Over There to help out. He’s marginally better than a stuffed donkey, although some opinions differ.
…fuck off, Boris. The Green bullshit is only to divert attention from all your other cock-ups, and you’re not fooling anyone. And by the way, trouble is looming:
…and wind power isn’t going to save you, you Etonian shit-for-brains. [redundancy alert]
…well, I guess that technically speaking, 2% is less than half.
…this is a “dog bites man” report.
Time for some INSIGNIFICA:
…she tricked you, not him, Toots.
…in a follow-up report, the doctor was found beaten to death by a caffeine-deprived lunatic. And I have an alibi.
…is this a great country, or what?
Now pick two of the following that you’d invite to an airborne threesome:
Remember: only two.