Category: Bad News

...make it a long prison term, y’all.

...ditto.  Also:

...pictures show the “protesters” waving Mexican flags, when the bullets’ recipient was actually Venezuelan (I told you they all look alike).  I guess ActBlue didn’t have any Venezuelan flags in stock.

...”hard-right” being the equivalent of “centrist Democrat”, in U.S. terms.

...oh look:  Asshole Muslim Nation #1 is bombing Asshole Muslim Nation #2.  Any more of that popcorn around?

...fraud in Minnesoduh?  Well I never.

…in which we play our popular game of “Guess The Race”.  (Hint:  Louisiana)

...once our problem, now Canuckistan’s.  Whatever.

...that’s not news.  “Penelope stuns in black garbage bag”… oh wait, that wouldn’t be news either.

...oh, how these poor people suffer for their art.  Although it must be said, the Mara sisters would not be my first choice for a cinematic threesome.
#Penelope&MonicaCruz

...whereas you want to impose socialism on everyone, you Trotskyist bitch.

...pass the popcorn, please.  Make it a BIG bucket, because this going to end so well.

...I never thought I’d see the day when I felt nostalgic for George McGovern.

...the real scandal was that all the (male Muslim) onlookers were masturbating during the event.  And speaking of events:

...now that’s what I call a spectator sport.  Next up:  Schü-mines in the long jump pit.

...”only”?  I’ve had relationships that didn’t yield that many shags.  And if you think that’s bad:

Man Checking CCTV For Burglars Catches Wife
Having Sex With Family Dog
...oops. At least it was the family dog and not just some stray off the street.

...as opposed to any of the fifty other reasons a Muslim scrote might have had.
#CastrationThenWhipping #OptionalHanging

...how will the poor thing ever get by with only the 180 million followers that remain?

...this would be even more newsworthy if there was anything there that we wanted to see.
#NoManShould

...let’s hear it for the Serbs:  classy as always.

...next thing you know, he’ll be wanting to exclude them from voting, the racist bastard.

...like anyone should care what this self-aggrandizing little turd does with his worthless life.

...can’t imagine why anyone would be fixated on this ghastly woman, but there’s no accounting for taste, is there?

...I think they just got lazy and re-published their warning from the 1970s.

...it’s always good to have a priceless historical artifact reduced to an exercise in cock counting.  Next up:  a count of “going in unto” (i.e. shagging) mentions in the Old Testament.

...wave goodbye to that little revenue stream, BritGov.  I’m just surprised it took him so long to say so long.

...let’s face it, the man is a god.

...probably easier than just deporting all Muslims, but it’s their party after all.

...I would be extremely surprised if the combined IQs of these two debaters rose as high as 60.

...as always, the old “putting the merchandise in the window” saying comes to mind.  However, let’s examine the evidence:

 

And not all the weight gain went to her superstructure, either:

I should point out that this totty’s latest album is entitled Dirty Blonde, which seems about right.

And that’s the news.

...yes, by all means continue to be helpless victims.  Let the UN Navy protect you… wait.

...next step:  ban their use altogether.  (I can dream, can’t I?)

...nor does Texas.  Except for a couple of assholes who do (see below).

...no doubt he feels the same way about the Miranda law and the Fourth and Fifth Amendments in general, the motherfucker.

...next step, ban cash welfare. (I can dream, can’t I?)

...overstay your visa, get what’s coming to you.  I wonder how this gayboy’s going to feel about returning to Muslim Britain.
#RefugeeApplicant #IDontThinkSo

...and the only after-school assignments I ever got from my teachers was homework.

...solution:

...Oh wait, it’s NYfC, where such activity is streng verboten.  Nemmind.  Carry on petting the cute little animals.

...can’t use A/C in the heat, can’t use heaters in the cold.
#CoolBritannia

...simple reason:  because if they withhold, Daddy will just find someone else to bonk and may stop the flow of cash.

Partial list of desirable Mercy Sex providers:

Bosnian Serb Warlord Ratko Mladic, Handed Life Sentence for
Genocide, Dies in Prison Aged 84
...still the best-ever first name for a supervillain.

...arrested for what?  Sheesh, who among us can say they’ve never been tempted?

...in other news, the chicken entrails for today aren’t looking too positive either.

...other than my Canucki Readers (fine fellows all), I had no idea that there were any such things in the Great White North.

...right up until she murdered all three of her children, that is.

...over what period of time?  A year?  A month?  A day?  Enquiring (and admiring) minds want to know.

...lemme guess:  “White men” for the first, “Muslims” for the second, and “women” for the third.

...just one of the oh-so many benefits of The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©.

...sorry, but she was much more fun when she was a Train Smash Woman.

And finally:

About damn time, too.  Don’t forget the Joyce Foundation, while you’re there.