Pointless Shit

I’m always ranting about how the auto industry has overloaded basic transportation with evermore-complex technology (3 seat-position memory options? FFS), but of course, they’re not the only ones.

Here’s another example, seen via a link on Insty’s page:

What a load of bullshit.  My old Keurig essentially has two options:  size of cup, regular/strong brew, and that’s it.  (“High Altitude Setting”? FFS #2)

Oh wait… I forgot mine’s warning light for “There’s No More Water In The Reservoir, You Idiot, Can’t You See Through The Clear Plastic?”

Let’s not forget the lie of “Brushed Silver” when it’s just shiny plastic.

And forgive me, but the whole point of a Keurig is that you can make a cuppa quickly without waiting for the water to boil, so the “Auto On/Off” switch is the work of Satan.  (Yeah, “saves electricity” blah blah blah… fuck the whales.)

Needless to say, in the spirit of manufacturers everywhere, my model Keurig is no longer available;  so when it finally quits working, I’ll be forced to buy one of these multi-featured over-complex monstrosities at, of course, a price which is 40% more than I paid for mine.

Don’t even talk to me about the cost of replacing my ageing VW, or my soaring blood pressure will ensure that the Tiguan outlives its owner.


  1. I’ve been pricing potential replacements for our aging side-by-side fridge/freezer. Who the fuck needs a “smart” fridge that enables me to see what’s in it 24/7 from anywhere in the world!? I already know about the dead hooker; I’m the one who put her there FFS.

  2. Never buy new electronics or appliances if you can get refurbs; never buy factory refurbs if there’s a repair service in your town that sells rebuilds.
    There used to be this concept known as “quality control.”

  3. Now do television remote controllers.

    I’m with you. Complication is not enhancing my experience. I think that I might go back to a french press and a manual grinder. That combination made the best cups of coffee that I have ever had. the grind and brew drip machine we currently have isn’t bad though.

  4. The High altitude setting is because water boils at a lower temp at altitude. ( 193 @ 10,000 ft ) So I’m guessing they decease the power so they don’t boil the unit dry. But what altitude did they use? Denver at 5,200 ft or Vail / Aspen at 8,000 ft or Santa Fe at 7,000 or La Paz / Lhasa / Cusco at 11,000 ft?

  5. I picked up a single cup coffee maker just like the Keurig at Walmart for $20. And it has only two buttons – one for pods, one for a basket of grounds, basket included. It and the Keurig are probably both made in China and will last a bit longer than the warranty, so never mind the name brand.

  6. Not long after the Keurig brewer first came on the market, my wife and I bought one. I later bought a second to take to work and had a small coffee service set up in my office. At the time, the coffee where I worked sucked (it did get better, after a couple years) so it was absolutely worth it. Both brewers broke the same way, due to what turned out to be a design flaw. Though I didn’t replace the one at work, the one at home was replaced with a K-cup brewer made by Breville. At the time, Keurig had come out with its attempt at coffee DRM and I wanted no part of that. It served us well for a decade and a half before something inside finally wore out and it started leaking. We replaced that one with a unit made by Cuisinart which is still going strong. It’s simple to operate, just set the cup size and go. It does have an auto-off timer which is easy to set.

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