Ones you’d like to see, in Comments. Will not be moderated or censored.
Update: Damn, after reading some of y’all’s comments, I feel like a big wussy by comparison.
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Quote Of The Day
From the late- and very-much-missed Rik Mayall (as Tory MP Alan B’stard):
“NHS waiting lists can be eradicated overnight by shutting down the health service, thereby killing poor people and wiping out poverty.”
Cruel? Yes. True? Also yes.
News Roundup
Starting off with some good news:
...and all he had to do was fire a bunch of government workers and close their departments. Jealous, I am.
...”about fucking time”? Well, I would have said that.
In Tech News:
...except when it comes to censoring conservative content and making it disappear from their search engine.
In the Lawn Order Dept.:
...in which we play the our always-popular “Guess the Race” game. Also keyword: Chicago.
And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...to the surprise of absolutely nobody with any common sense, as we’ve noted before.
...and anywhere else, he’d be losing his mind permanently as his body temperature reaches that of the room; but not in Britishland.
...which somehow manages to combine both The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© and Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©.
And speaking of the unspeakable:
...which would concern me if I actually gave a flying fuck about the snowflakes’ opinion of me — especially as:
...well isn’t that special. Let’s send a few (hundred) thousand of them to live in Gaza, then.
And speaking of Unspeakable Wokism:
...in which we play our new “Guess The Sex of the CEO” game.
From the Sports Desk:
...is it just me, or does “German surfer” create the same cognitive dissonance as, say, “Swiss Naval Officer” or “Haitian chess player”?
In the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.:
...aren’t we glad that the U.S. doesn’t do titles?
In the Dept. of Health:
…
And, of course, there’s always some link-free 
And in a stroll down 
:
...well, let’s see what awaits the throbbing phalli of Teh Brits:
All together now:
♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “Run Britannia! Britannia run away!” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
And that’s all the news anyone needs, I think.
Caption Competition #239
Your suggestions in Comments.
News Roundup
They’ll never catch on. Anyway, speaking of lies:
Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:
...because if all they spoke was the truth, there’d be no “climate change” doctrine, period.
...for “planet” read “Catholic Church”.
…
...and the Taiwanese yawn. Also, F- for the fucking awful puns.
In the Dept. of Irony:
...black pot, meet kettle. (Vince Foster and Jeffrey Epstein were unavailable for comment.)
In Technology News:
...[yawn] let me know when they come in .45 ACP.
From the Tourism Bureau:
...thus making Europe’s most expensive hotels now stratospheric.
In Political News:
...and yet, amazingly, in that 11-day period he’s still managed to vote fifteen times, three times each per bill.
#TypicalDemocratVoting
...I’m hoping for a higher death toll, myself. (no link because PPV)
...I’m just amazed that there’s a Target still open in St. Louis.
From the Dept. of Health:
...and he was related to her.
#ScourgeThenExecute
And from the Dept. of Education:
...because grades are so, like, rayciss.
...in which we play our ever-popular game of “Guess The Race”.
...or even with young boys.
In the department known as 
Finally. on Paige Three:
...let’s see what’s so bad about this bikini, shall we, that FecesBook is getting agitated:
Nope; not much more to see here (other than the usual). And from the recently-finished tournament at Augusta National:
You most certainly can, sweetheart. And that’s the news.
“Dear Dr. Kim”
“Dear Dr. Kim,
“I have a son aged 38. He has a partner and three children. My husband and I feel as though we’ve been cut off because we haven’t seen any of them since Christmas 2019. One of his sons was born in 2021, so we haven’t even met him.
“There hasn’t been a falling out – it seems that we have just drifted into this situation. The main problem is his partner. She used to claim that we never made the effort to see them, even though we were always the ones who messaged and made plans.
“In fact they never once came to us. It always felt like we did all the running – but this wasn’t good enough for her. The longer the situation has gone on, the harder it is to see a way out.
“Our daughter and my elderly father have also heard nothing from our son. He has cut himself off from the whole family. But I know that as soon as someone dies he will want his share of any inheritance.
“Dr. Kim, I’m at a loss as to what to do.”
Dear Loose:
It sounds very much like you’ve come across the dreaded “Poontang Over Parents” situation. In these situations, it’s often a terrible thing when your son chooses the former option, but as much as I make light of the problem, it’s not at all a nice thing.
The part of your letter that bothers me is this: “I know that as soon as someone dies he will want his share of any inheritance.”
Right now, you’re being stiffed from the love and joy one should expect from grandchildren — fucking hell, it’s the only upside of having your own kids in the first place — and there’s only one way to head off this little bit of avaricious spite.
Actions have consequences, and your asshole of a son (and the bitch he’s hooked up with) will need to learn this lesson ASAP.
You and your husband should prepare a joint Last Will & Testament now (I’ll explain the “now” in a moment). In it, make sure to specify that Loving Son will get nothing, nada, bupkes from your estate, ever, and your daughter and her family (whom you love and who loves you back) will get it all. Be sure to explain why, in as scathing or hurt tones as you can manage (your lawyer will doubtless be able to offer good advice thereon).
Then send him a copy (with receipt signature required, to prove that he actually got it). Don’t put a cover letter with the will; just let the thing stand all by itself.
Yes, this may exacerbate the situation, but let’s be honest here: how much worse can it get?
And why should you do this now? Simply put, if you do it later, the little shit may contest the will, claiming that you and your husband were “mentally impaired by advanced age” or whatever the legal term is, so it’s in your best interests to make that a non-issue.
I am truly sorry that you are being put through this, but right now there’s not much else you can do. Pleading with him to change his behavior will just give the Bitch Girlfriend satisfaction.
By the way, I’m accepting your assertion that their behavior is indeed unwarranted. If it turns out that you or your husband said or did something unpleasant to the girlfriend, then you are the ones seeing the consequences of your actions.
— 