News Roundup

Let’s dive right in.


...only one?


...do they mean meat like this? 
...short answer:  no.  Longer answer:  fuck off and die.  And speaking of nanny busybodies:


...go fuck yourselves, you foul fascists.


...you helped create this movement;  you deal with it, asshole.

From the Dept. of Health:


...keyword:  Brazil.


...note the plural “hospitals.


...coming from the same crowd who said that unless everybody donned these face condoms, everyone was gonna die.

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:


...should be 700,000 but we’ll take what we can get.

And in related news:


...lemme see here:  percentage of NYC seniors who vote Democrat:  100%
Ergo:

And speaking of seniors:


...well, that’s one way of putting it.  (No link because paywall)


...all part of the “boys will be boys” policy in… wait, Memphis?


...which just shows that we need commonsense lawnmower control, and that avocados are not that healthy.  Also, keyword:  Australia (?).

Some Animal News:


...keyword:  yup, Australia.

And the most INSIGNIFICA ever:

  

...okay, that’s what I want at my funeral.

Finally, in ShowBiz News:


...yeah, whatever.  Let’s just look at her legs awhile:

Enough?  No?  Okay, then:

I’ll stop here, or else we could be doing this all day.

News Roundup

(the first of our Christmas ads for the season)

And off we go.


...sounds about right.  The pity is that the kid will get charged with murder instead of getting a pat on the back for vermin removal.


...is anybody surprised by this?

From the Department of Education:


...get ’em young, honey, go to jail.  Also, keyword:  Arkansas.


...does anyone think that an application of Hammurabic Law would be excessive?  No?  Me neither.


...so one assumes that if a bunch of angry Jews were to disrupt Eid that they’d get the same treatment?  LOL


...keyword:  Turkey.  And now it’s a heavenly body… anyone?  Bueller?


...Go Navy.


...should have fired back.


...actually, he got fined for tossing a brick through her window.  What’s not surprising is that she wants him back.  It’s a lovely story.


...key word:  Russian.


...I got nothing.  Not even a link.


...sheesh;  when even the world’s most clueless woman gets it right, you have to know.


...if you’re going to do something like that, you have to pick the best-lit ride in Disneyland.  And he did.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA!!!!

...as once again, we see the perils of letting Spell Check edit your newspaper.

Finally, in Hottie News:


...of course she looks incredible:  she’s Monica freaking Bellucci, FFS.

Then and now, exquisite.

Breakfast gin, Kim?  I think so.

Brilliant Deception

Okay, go ahead and judge me, but I howled with shocked laughter when I read this little tale:

For months my boyfriend led me to believe he was busy caring for his elderly mother – but she’s been dead all along and his lies were a front for him having sex with another woman, and living with her.

Sometimes, you just have to tip your hat to a master.

Playing Field, Leveling Of

NASCAR fans or non-Formula 1 devotees can skip this post.

Consider the final standings for the 2023 F1 season:

 

If that looks like a runaway train for both Max Verstappen and Red Bull, then it was.  Verstappen won 19 out of the 21 races of the season, and Red Bull’s Perez won one.

Which has led to an interesting game among fans, thinking about leveling the field, so to speak, for the 2024 season.  Here are the favorites:

  • Level the driver playing field and find another Perez-level driver for Red Bull to replace Max.
  • Force Max to wear an eye patch and strap one arm to his leg.
  • Force Red Bull to use Trabant engines. (“Then they’d only come 3rd.”)
  • …and Reliant Robin 3-wheel technology.  (“Okay, 4th.”)
  • Fire Max and sign Daniel Ricciardo.  Or Logan Sargeant.
  • …and so on.

Let’s see;  only 90 days till the new season begins.

In the meantime, there are the college football championships and the Super Bowl… which I care about as much as most of you care about F1.