News Roundup

Along with thum pithy commentary, ath alwayth.


too bad she can’t run for our presidency.


yeah, all those Comanche hospitals we burned, those Kiowa highways we destroyed, and let’s not even talk about the Cheyenne motor industryor this Apache theater:


I guess I missed the memo where a foreign government figurehead gets to tell people how to spend their own money.


a.k.a. the “we break it, you fix it” management style.


a.k.a the “we’ll cause your prices to rise, but you have to lower them anyway” school of economics.


to the hearty relief of airline passengers everywhere,  What a goat rodeo that was.


I think this “creative shaming” needs a little acknowledgment, not censure.  As my homies say, “Bitch had it comin’.”


I guess his (terminal) blood cancer had nothing to do with it.


in other words, “Wah wah wah I didn’t get invited even though I’m a homo and should therefore have been at the head of the line.”

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

And once again, we solve the eternal puzzle of why men play professional football:

 

News Roundup

Here we go again:



not to mention all that “undocumented shopping” going on.


doing the job that the Feddle Gummint won’t, the motherfuckers.



more like a by-product of American feminism, but whatever.


you mean, like when Trump was President?


and you’re absolutely not a fucking fascist, you rancid old bitch.


to the surprise of absolutely nobody.


you mean, Future POTUS DeSantis.

From the Dept. Of Suckage:


sad, but understandable.  Thanks for all the hard work, guys.

MORE FALLOUT FROM THE “JON GRUDEN EMAIL SCANDAL”
and if I gave a shit about the NFL or what it was doing, this would be upsetting.

And now, some more INSIGNIFICA:

   

And speaking of things being good enough to eat:

Call me a far right-wing extremist, then… and by the way, Bone Daddy’s “burnt ends” are addictive.

Imaginary Conversations

On my last trip up to Boomershoot, it was just me and the Son&Heir (aged about 16) in the old F-150 FX4 making the three-day-up, three-day-down journey.

On the way up, we drove along Idaho Rte 55:

…whereupon I stated idly:  “I wouldn’t mind retiring to a little cabin up there against the foothills”, to which the Son&Heir replied, “No, you can’t.”

“Why not?”
“Because I’ll still be living in Texas, and I’ll be damned if I have to fly back up here every time I get a call from the sheriff.”
“What do you mean, call from the sheriff?”

And the fruit of my loins (and heir to my gun safes and their contents) proceeded to have the rest of this conversation all by himself, complete with the appropriate accents.

“Jack?  Sheriff Johnson here, up in Valley County.”
“Oh God, what’s he done now?”
“He’s shooting at trucks driving along the main road again.”
“Didn’t we take all his rifles away from him the last time?”
“Yeah, except his .22s.  And he’s using them now.”
“Why this time?”
“He says they make too much noise and disturb his peace.”
“But he’s as deaf as a rock.”
“Can you come up and talk to him?  Next time I’ll have to arrest him, and you know what happened the last time we tried to do that.”
“Is the deputy okay?”
“Well, he doesn’t have to use that walking stick anymore.”

“Dad, you have to stop shooting at trucks from the porch.”
“Why?  I gotta keep my eye in.”
“Well, for one thing, it’s against the law.”
“It’s a stupid fucking law.  Trucks are noisy;  isn’t there a law against making a public racket?”
“Dad, we talked about this last time.”
“And it’s only a little .22 bullet, anyway.  At that range, you’d hardly feel it even if it hit you, and anyway, I’m only aiming at the trailers, not the drivers.”

“Yeah,” the Son&Heir concluded, turning to me, “just tell me that all this could never happen.”

I had no answer.