Tag: Humor

...that’s because he’d fallen afoul of the dreaded Witchcraft Lobby.

...got news for you, buddy:  it never does.  I was in Dachau in 2005, and still haven’t forgotten it.

...works for me, and I suspect, works for just about everyone except the farmers who’ve been feeding at the ethanol subsidies trough.

...yeah, they said it would be “free energy” (and it isn’t), and they said it would cause energy costs to go down (and they haven’t).  A pack of fucking lies from top to bottom.

Update:

Conservatives:

...lest anyone gets the wrong idea, here’s a reminder:

...ummm [insert something about the Supremacy Clause here]

...I think that when they answered the job ads, they didn’t quite understand the “job for life” offer.

...I just wonder how he managed to fit those two GIANT BRASS BALLS into that lil’ rowing boat.

...you know, if she wanted to get smacked around and punched in the face, she could have just married a rapper.

...and if they’d just stuck to the old inconvenient Sony Discman and a CD collection, they wouldn’t be having this problem now, would they?

From the Sweeney Files:

...I hope she makes more than a hundred jillion dollars out of all this exposure [sic], just because all the Usual Harpies On The Left™ hate her for being beautiful and conservative.

...typical Socialist:  if you can’t win elections, change the voting rules so that you do.

...remember, comrade:  Marxism dictates that all property belongs to the State.

And for a parallel development in Krautland:

...typical Marxist playbook:  create a crisis, then “fix” it by stepping on the rights of others.

But back to Blighty:

...yeah, never mind all that “will of the people” nonsense;  the Party knows best.

...I’m trying to think when this wasn’t Labour Party policy — or the Conservative Party’s, for that matter.

...next step for Labour:  nationalize the bourgeois banking system, because that’s working so well for the ChiComs, after all.

...I’m struggling to think how it could get any worse than the current system.  And speaking of immigrants:

...begging the question:  “Why was he released in the first place?”

...as Labour’s “NetZero” policies come home to roost.

...keep milking the People to pay for the system:  once again, Marxism rules. Also:

...which would be most Brit city households, of course.  Both the above and this move have, as their unstated goal, the abolition of privately-owned transport.

...hard to see how Britishland will stop the next Argy invasion of Las Malvinas, isn’t it?
#GuttedMilitary

In Real Estate News:

...ah yes, Burnham’s “mansion tax” at work, in the world’s most overpriced residential market.

Finally, in the Police State of Britishland:

...ya think?

...because the Union Jack is a symbol of intolerance and racial hatred, you see.  Unlike the Palestinian flag.

And in the Colonies:

...because that patriotism stuff is so intolerant and racist, you see.

And to end this summary, a moment of sanity.

...I know the question on everybody’s lips:  “Is the tree okay?”

...there was a time when the visual of Susan Sarandon in handcuffs might have been quite titillating [sic], but sadly, no more.

...just in time to be banned, of course.

...what is this “international ordure” everyone keeps talking about?

...wow, not even caused by a) Glueball Wormening or b) Donald Trump?  How did that happen?

...the “Democrat” in the headline is totally redundant, but I guess this bill would end all those drive-by BB shootings in his neighborhood.  Also: opthalmologists would be hardest hit.

...I’m guessing that the ChiComs make their own pagers.  Anyway, Trump says it’s bullshit, so make your own decision about this.

...all together now:
♫ ♪ ♫ ♪The stars at night
are big and bright ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
[clap-clap-clap-clap]
…and y’all know the rest, of course.

From motorcycles to booze, US ban on $1 billion worth of Canadian imports goes into effect
...never cared for Canadian Club (and never heard of any of these brands), Molson’s is shit beer, don’t like the taste of maple syrup;  so yeah, whatever.

Finally, from the Pussification Chronicles:

...bloody hell, it’s bad enough that men have to pay for those overpriced geegaws without having to make wifey happy by queuing to buy them as well.
#GheyBritMen