Stuff that makes me laugh
Here’s a little snippet:
…and here’s a pic of the slag herself:
Ugh.
Let me tell you, the only way I’d be tempted into spending money on something like this is if the offer was for this model:
And I’d pay a premium for the “Sexy Contralto Italian Accent” option.
Let’s begin the Monday lesson:
And to alleviate the suffering, some random totty from my ” You Probably Shouldn’t Post That Online” folder:
Now hit the beach… or something.
So let’s look at the news, which will also cause you to break wind.
From the Dept. of Health, Nutrition and Religion:
...tastes like shit, is bad for you: just like vegans themselves, I’m told.
Speaking of religions:
…
And while we’re on the Jew-Hate train of thought:
...wait: sexual activity? If looking at those Holocaust pics gives you a woody, you need help.
From the Dept. of Education:
...this all started when the courts decided that illegal immigrant children were entitled to free state education.
#DontCare #ReapTheWhirlwind
...Go Huskers! And while we’re there:
...sadly, only in rural areas, where there isn’t too much danger from random assholes. In the city schools, however, where there IS that kind of danger, the schools need to rely on the cops.
#UvaldeAgain
Still with the kiddies:
...but but but…isn’t underage sex illegal! You mean making something illegal doesn’t end the problem?
From the Lawn Order News Desk:
...and of course he will; in 2050, when it’s used against his side.
...at gunpoint, perhaps? I think he just means “run them over”. [/Insty]
#NudgeNudgeWinkWink
And The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© continues apace:
...promises made by government, promises not kept by government. Welcome to the U.S.A.
#CivicsLesson
In the Romance Dept.:
...errrrr no, I think you’ll find it was actually the heroin.
#AutopsyReport
And now for some linkless 
And living in 
:
...actually, she’s always been kinda fond of the sparkly dress stuff:
And on that powerfully-erotic note, we end the news.
Your suggestions in Comments.
And if ever we needed beer:
...I don’t wanna say “I told you so!!” but…
And completely unrelated to the above:
...no, you shouldn’t buy “an” AR-15. You should buy at least two because, as the old saying goes, “Two is one and one is none.” Three would be better, and four (one or two for you, and a couple for your friends, if needed) is just dandy.
Some International News:
...wait: Japan’s getting upset by this? It has to be bad.
...not so nice when it happens to you Arab assholes, is it?
#Payback
...and then were promptly arrested for destroying an endangered species, I bet.
Some Murkin News:
...name ONE, asshole. Get specific.
...did they overturn Kelo? No? Then nobody cares.
...priorities: they’re important.
And in the Dept. of Education:
...it’s called “free enterprise”, guys; leave her alone, dammit. Also, keyword: Houston.
In Business News:
…
And now, ’tis time for 
...welcome to the boys’ club, honey.
And on that note, it’s time for our little journey down 
:
Unlike the news, that’s just the way we like it.
Let’s get to Teh Funnie:
And speaking of meat, a few leftovers from last week at Aintree:
Now put on your shoes and fly off to work…