Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Checkpoint

Drive Time, Legal Stuff

From Loyal Friend & Reader John C. comes this:

See, what gets up my nose about this is that when Gummint puts up signs, there needs to be clarity above all things.

Take that “requirement” addendum, for instance.  Is that a 2-gun minimum per car, or a 2-gun minimum per occupant?  This ambiguity certainly leaves the interpretation up to the supervising official, and I’d hate to run afoul of state law just because of the lack of clear signage.

My advice, therefore, is for people to carry at least two guns per person when they visit Texas.  Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Reader Question

Africa, Military

Reader Brian H. sends me this pic and asks:  “Seriously, which one is you?”

Seriously, neither could possibly be me:

  • I don’t smoke
  • I’m not Rhodesian
  • I wasn’t drafted till 1977
  • They’re holding guns, not a guitar, and finally:
  • I’d never wear those little shortie-pants in the African sun;  my lily-white skin would burn to a crisp in about half an hour.

But I’m flattered that you think I would have been in the Rhodesian Light Infantry (RLI).  Those guys were maniacs.

Well, So Long Blondie

Law and Order, Politics

I guess DJT figured she just wasn’t working quickly enough to prosecute all the Obama/Biden-era bullshit that was heaped on him and all the rest of us.  And I have just the right person for the AG’s job:  me.

Yes I know I’m not a lawyer.  The DoJ’s got whole buildings full of ’em, and where’s that got anyone?

What the nation needs right now is someone to manage all these  assholes  legal eagles and get them pointed in the right direction:  and I’m just the right guy to do it.

Give me two things — okay, just one (I’ve got the 1911 thing all covered).  What I need is an industrial-strength cattle prod, the kind that shocks the bejeezus out of you with just a light touch, and renders you unconscious with any kind of prolonged touch.

Then let me loose in the DOJ, armed with that cattle prod and a copy of the U.S. Constitution, and watch me.  Even Tom Homan would get a little nervous around me.  And watch the ticket prices soar when Congress summons me to testify on some bullshit issue or another.  I’m talking standing room only, bubba.

I used to think I’d make a good Press Secretary.  But DJT’s got that covered with the other blondie, and she’s excellent.  Nah, I want a position that gets me to kick actual ass all over the room, and the DA’s job seems about right.

Now if I get the job, I don’t want y’all profiting from the announcement:  in other words, don’t buy shares in the textile companies that make them orange prison jump suits (if they’re still not all made in China).

The real fun will start when the Clintons and their ilk start looking for a friendly country to escape to.

Hey, it could happen.  [/Judy Tenuta]