Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

And if that doesn’t get you going, then this will:


...so much for all those panicky headlines, then.


...you mean that old rascal’s been playing the fool with us — or rather, the stupid Greens — all this time?  And speaking of the sun:


...considering how often the solar power plants have failed during icy winters and scorching summers (i.e. when electric power is most needed), it’s not unreasonable.  And if building those backup plants costs too much and takes too long, they can blame the Greens who put up all those barriers in the first place.
#ServesEmRight #JustDeserts

In Political News:


...and the other 20% want him executed. Compare and contrast to conservatives, 100% of whom want all Commies sent to the gulag or gallows. (Okay, I made that last bit up — but I bet I’m not far off).

Democrat Socialists FAFO:
...give ’em the same treatment that the J6 folks got.

“Reverend” Al Sharpton Doesn’t Like White Political Refugees
...quelle surprise.
#RacistCocksucker

In Education News:


...because DEI.  Just think of using those all those millions to partially settle some student loans… [ducks]

From the Pentagon Papers:


...it’s a start.  Later, we can talk about taking women out of combat units and Navy ships.

Latest from Business News:


...it’s not so much their crappy sludge that’s a problem (we all still loves us our Frosted Flakes, after all);  it’s the fact that their crappy sludge now costs $10 a box.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:


…

Finally, from the front lines of LGBTOSTFU:


...yeah, that worked SO well for Bud Lite.

And diving into the dumpster of unlinked  

 

And as we drive headlong down :


...no shit?  Well then, have a few impure thoughts on me:

There ya go… ya filthy animals.

Thieves

Advice

I had to chuckle at this little piece of advice for dealing with this particular issue:

There’s even a handy-dandy little list:

It is, as they say, to laugh.

As I’ve stated so often before, seagulls don’t respond to defensive postures such as the above:  the little fuckers will sometimes attack you for fun, not just for food.  So ignore all the above, non-violent measures.

As with most animals, the best defense is attack.  Lo and behold Kim’s Ultimate Anti-Seagull Device (which I describe more fully here):

Instructions for use:  if you’re going into seagull territory — which is just about anywhere there’s a large body of water — carry one of these.  When you see one of these airborne rats approaching, wait till it’s in range, then take a full swing at it;  don’t just bat it away, you want to inflict massive pain on the fucker or else it will just come back for more.  In my experience, you’ll only have to do this twice or three times before the other airborne rats will get the message and leave you alone.  The goal is to leave the bird flailing around on the ground with broken limbs (wings, legs or neck), making an awful ruckus that will frighten others of its ilk away.

Don’t get put off by the anguished squeals of any bird-lovers in the scene because they’re irrelevant to your problem.  Just whale away at these rodents (the birds, not the bird-lovers, but be my guest).  Then relax and enjoy your snack.  When you leave the area, feel free to kick the carcasses out of the way.

Remember:  a tennis racquet is sports equipment, not a weapon.  Just remember to rinse the blood and feathers off the thing when you get home.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

So let’s get into the spirit of the thing:

And on a lighter note:

And speaking of Godwin’s Law, here are some things you would never have seen if Hitler had won the war:

 

Why?  He thought red hair was an evil genetic aberration, and needed to be exterminated.

Then again…

Now go and plunge into the rest of the week…