Every so often New Wife will absolutely skewer me with an observation that is so sharp that I’m left helpless with laughter. Here’s one example, after I’d done something profoundly idiotic:
Me: Ami I that stupid?
Her: Not all the time.
Last night brought out another one. We’d just finished watching TV for the night, and were sitting together on the couch, when she looked at me quizzically and asked:
Her: Have you cut your hair? (She hates it when I do.)
Me: No.
Her: Are you sure?
Me: I promise you, I have not cut my hair since you got back from Cape Town.
Her (unconvinced): I think you’re candlelighting me.
Me: You mean gaslighting?
Her: No, I meant candlelighting. It’s like gaslighting, but… gentler.
Ten minutes later, my stomach was still aching.
