Tag: Humor

Slim pickings for today, as the news is all about the same old boring shit.  However, in the public interest…

…that’s not quite true:  he referred to your country as a “shithole” (which it is), but considering that assholes and shitholes are inextricably linked, maybe you have a point, there.

…Black Watch Matters?  Not, it appears, to the BritGov.

…of course you’re sorry, Christiane.  And speaking of all that “healing” stuff:

…I know, she’s a brainless Hollywood harlot actress, but I wish I could load all these fuckwits in a time machine  and take them back  to 1939 Germany, just so they could see what real Nazism looks like.  (And yes, of course I’d leave them there.)

…I’m a little confused, here, Congresswoman Rancid African Bitch:  was that the “chaos” of the largest economic growth period in U.S. history, or all that actual chaos caused by BLM/Pantifa-inspired riots and looting in Republican-controlled cities?  But then there’s this:

…yeah, by all means let’s end our imperialistic military adventure in Omar’s home country.  (I think I just peed in my pants, a little.)

…distressingly, this report contains not a single mention of public scourging.  I should also add that as this happened in Wales, the word “brainless” is superfluous.

…no he doesn’t, any more than I feel pressure to have a negative attitude about gun control, which I hate as much as the Commie cocksucker hates America.

…just wait till these same braindead CEOs have to deal with Biden’s new Labor Secretary, Bernie Sanders.

…hey, as long as Salma Hayek is cast in the lead role, I’m cool.

No politics, just silliness… and a happy note to start off with:

…hey Chinky:  if you have a moment, I have a list of similar scumbags you can take care of.

Okay, just one political thing:

…what you get when Beetlejuice and Don King have a baby.

…finally, scientists do something worthwhile.  Although waking up next to Lori Lightfoot (see above) would probably work even quicker.

…like arguing over whether zombies are more dangerous than poltergeists.

…sorry, kids, but the Romans pretty much defined White supremacy, with their roads, bridges, aqueducts, public buildings, plumbing (to name but some)… none of which any other “civilizations” south of the Sahara ever managed to build.

…no wonder Brit politicians are such ineffectual assholes, when they spend four times as much on wine than on beer.

And finally:

…although they should probably have taken our guns away first, before deciding who goes on the cattle cars and into the “reeducation” camps.

Ah, the hell with all that.  Here’s some Heidi:

Guaranteed to be non-political, except for the first one.  Also, naked pictures of Giada De Laurentiis at the end.

…and it’s long past time for Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingram and  Sean Hannity to go to OAN or NewsMaxTV anyway.  Fuck Fox News, and the Murdoch brothers.

…call me a disbeliever, as Yoakam’s dense adenoidal Southern drawl makes all his lyrics unintelligible, even to Texans.

…not that I want to take the side of a raving pinko like Hanks, but the offended Jamaicans (if they are in fact the offended ones) can just go fuck themselves.

…FFS, that makes me nauseated just looking at it.  Also note that this is McDonalds UK, so Brits too can go fuck themselves every time they talk about “fat Yanks”.

…sounds about right.

…Irony Of The Day:  he’s named Makarov.

…one would have thought that he might have put “parachute” and “my fear of heights” together in his mind before volunteering, but this is the modern generation.

…I would have said “too Left” but whatever.

…in other news, the village’s tourism revenue explodes.

  .
…join me in welcoming the Emirates to the 20th century.

…FFS, if they wanted me to bonk for two solid months, they’d have to pay me more than that.  Unless it was with Giada De Laurentiis.

And oh yes, I’m afraid I lied about Giada’s naked photographs.  That was just marketing.

Here are some substitutes, of another TV chef:

Yeah, you’d bonk Nigella for two months for free.  Most real men would.