Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Not much to see today, unlike here.  Still:


…to which I say, fukkem.  But right on cue:


…of course, it was New York.


…and fuck you, too, asshole.  Wait till I do something like this:


…it ain’t gonna be pretty.


…which can easily be fixed by some activities which include MOABs and daisycutter bombs.


…also Scorpios, unicorn rodeo riders and men named Fred.  JHC, what a load of bullshit.


…but the only newsworthy part of this story is that he wasn’t Indian (dot-head variety), or Chinese.


…but I should remind everyone that Southside Chicago votes overwhelmingly Democrat, so they got what they voted for, good and hard.


…and while Britain breathes a sigh of relief, I can start making plans to go back Over There again.

And finally:


…and Governor Death Eater Cuomo’ s decision to house Chinkvirus patients in New York nursing homes was just as spectacularly wrong.

Rules

Food & Drink, Good Stuff

This article got me thinking — or rather, its title did:

Rules for a deconfinement dinner party

I thought about it for a while (about 30 seconds), and came up with Kim’s Rules For A Post-Lockdown Party:

  • invite a group of really good friends, or family members you get along with, or both
  • have an ocean of fine booze at the ready — in my case, Glen Morangie single malt;  Sipsmith gin;  champagne (for New Wife, her favorite tipple);  a case of Barefoot wines, in different colors;  two cases of decent beer;  a bottle or two of Tawny Port;  Richelieu brandy;  and whatever the guests want to drink (prearranged)
  • a huge rib roast (or leg of lamb), accompanied by roast potatoes and -parsnips, asparagus, and some other veg TBD by New WIfe, along with crusty French bread and farm butter;  with peach cobbler dessert and vanilla ice cream (dieters, vegans and teetotalers, needless to say, are persona non grata).

And that’s it. Good food, lots of booze and good company, all seated together round the dinner table at the proper social distance (12″-18″ apart), and have at it.

Of course, those are my ingredients for any decent dinner party, but let’s not get all bogged down with details.

Tuesday Funnies

Funny Stuff

The best thing about a Monday public holiday is that it makes the week shorter, like Hayden Panettiere.  In the meantime, there’s still work to be done as we all get on our bikes to get back to work:

And so, a few smiles may be needed:

And speaking of parties:

And to end this post on the same note it started:

Gives the term “biker babe” a whole new meaning, dunnit?

News Roundup

Bad News

Pointed commentary — pointed, like these.


…that’s not news.  The news is that she was only in labor for 22.6 seconds, a new world record for girl babies.


…I don’t think there are measuring instruments powerful enough to detect my sympathy for these people.


…my only question being:  how did they fit this man’s giant balls into the back of the police car?


…these being the cityfolk that pretty much drank themselves into a stupor every night during Prohibition, how did the stupid Commie De Blasio think he was going to stop them?


…I didn’t even know they had strip clubs in Cheyenne, but I’m pretty sure that face masks could only be an improvement.  For both the girls and the customers.


…and these are the same people who are flooding into the U.S.  Oy.  No wonder the Democrats love them.


…fair enough, as long as they reciprocate for our folks.  (Son&Heir has a standing job offer in London…)


…yeah, but they used the British Chinkvirus models to predict all this catastrophe.


…to the surprise of nobody but the gun controllers.

  …OMG noes, she’s being hounded by the very State apparatus that she wants to sic on everyone else.

And speaking of boners:


…and his defense?  “I didn’t know she was dead — I thought she was Jewish.”

Question Of The Day

Bad News, The Gun Thing

Go ahead and read this little snippet:

Large lizards are invading Georgia and pose a major threat to native wildlife, state officials have warned residents.
Argentine black and white tegu lizards, which can grow up to four feet long and weigh more than 10 pounds, have been spotted in Georgia for years, and officials are now trying to eradicate the species from the state.
“They eat just about anything they want,” retired Georgia Department of Natural Resources’ Wildlife Resources Division biologist John Jensen said in a 2019 video about the lizards.

So, Gentle Readers, here’s the question:

What would be the cartridge you’d choose to help Georgia out with their little problem? 

Your suggestions in Comments.

Here’s mine.  And here it is, demonstrated — but this old boy is having WAY too much fun.  Jealous.