5 Worst Current Headlines

In ascending order of awfulness:

  • Yellowstone Caldera To Erupt At Noon Eastern
  • Biden Already Planning 2024 Reelection Campaign
  • Most People Fleeing New York Plan To Settle In Texas
  • Kamala Harris-Willie Brown Sex Video Leaked On PornHub
  • Piers Morgan Applies For U.S. Citizenship

Your suggestions in Comments — but they’d better be worse than all the above.



  1. Sheila Jackson-Lee confirmed as Secretary of Education.

    Hillary Clinton to pose nude in Penthouse Magazine.

    1. AW! Geeze Termite! Where’s the brain bleach?

      Ya know, maybe there is a use for trigger warnings outside of the range?

  2. Ghislaine Maxwell found dead in her cell — Jeffrey Epstein documents irretrievably lost — Clintons escape prosecution, get off scot-free

      1. Hi Kim,

        I have been around for quite a while as a silent bystander but now I felt it was time to register. That was the most awful headline I could think of. Why not start a competition for the most pleasing headline?
        (“Clinton executions: Hillary screeching till the end” — “Nancy Pelosi dead in tragic accident: fell down stairs blind drunk — joint investigation by FBI & IRS” — “Jerry Nadler, Adam Schiff, Chuck Schumer found dead in erotic auto-asphyxiation game play” — “Ilhan Omar sex tapes N°1 on PornHub” — “Obama in drug-induced coma: hospitalized with massive narcotics overdose; 41.8kgs of cocaine found in Obama residence” — “Full disclosure of Epstein papers; Maxwell turns crown evidence: hundreds of arrests” … just to name a few of my favorite daydreams)

        It took me a while to find your new website after you had suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth (at least, so it seemed to me).
        I am very glad that you are back and running up to your old form and even improving on it. I hope life will treat you well and I am hoping for all the best for you and your family.

        Kind regards,


  3. As things stand with the world, #1 is actually one of the best headlines we can hope for.
    Get all the nonsense over with in one fell swoop and have the rats start from scratch creating their civilisation, humans have clearly decided they no longer want to be one.

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