Stuff that makes me laugh
Is it just my imagination, or are the weeks getting short? I’m pretty sure that some bastard stole my Saturday… not to mention a couple of my posts. And my email is still fucked (sendee, no receivee).
So to escape Teh Worries, Teh Funneez:
Good question. Let’s ask Brie Bella, twin sister of last week’s Nikki:
Now go away and let me tackle my systems issues… aaaaargh.
Your suggestions in Comments.
“I’m so old fashioned, I thought that ‘Chinese junk’ was a kind of sailing ship, not ‘everything you buy at fucking WalMart’.” — Kim du Toit
Keeping it short and sweet, like Salma Hayek.
…and if one of my children ever did this to me, they could expect to see their car firebombed or towed. Which is why they wouldn’t do it.
…as are we all. These pathetic accommodationists make Neville Chamberlain look like Attila The Hun.
…I report, you decide.
…hey, “Reverend”: waddya expect from a bunch of gun-totin’ rednecks, anyway? Kinda like what we expect from a racist hustler from NYfuckenC.
…I was going to refer to these people as “morons”, but it seems redundant, somehow.
…LOL as panic ensues.
…hardly worth commentary, really. Anyone who’s ever had a Tequila Evening could probably top that story.
…and until recently, New Zealand was always regarded as the “sensible” country in Australasia.
…order away, Joe. Let’s see how that works out for ya.
…giving a whole new meaning to the term “one-night stand”.
And speaking of short and sweet:
…although frankly, I was amazed to see that the shortass’s feet even reached the ground.
Finally, a couple of my Brit Readers have complained about me giving short shrift to the extraordinary Rhian Sugden on these pages. Complain no more:
From Teddy Dalrymple:
“With luck, the mass impoverishment that is quite likely to strike Great Britain in the near future will prevent the British from going abroad in any numbers, thus slightly raising the cultural level of the rest of the world.”
When I emigrated , the following was written on the Bon Voyage card presented to me by my former colleagues:
“Kim is leaving South Africa for the United States, thus raising the average IQ of both countries.”
Who said statisticians have no sense of humor?
I just thought I’d get ahead of the curve, for once:
