Humor – Page 228 – Splendid Isolation

News Roundup

June 1, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

The news is a little old today, but then so am I.

…key word: “Italian”.

…that’s the Arabs for you: always late to the party.

…hasn’t this turd’s expiration date come and gone yet?

…next up: Benedict Cumberbatch is auditioning for the character of Kunta Kinte in the remake of Roots. Because diversity.

…but wait; that’s not the best part of the story:
Brown said he filed a report with the Atlanta Police Department.
…and a memorial service for Irony will be held tomorrow. And the real news:
Atlanta Cops Are Still Laughing Themselves Silly.

...simple solution: tell people when they make their reservations that you’ll be holding them for 10 minutes and not a second longer. Then issue your hostesses with stopwatches.

…and another growth industry comes to Texas. That said, I’ll believe it when I can go into Guns ‘R’ Us and buy one over the counter without filling in any paperwork.

And now for INSIGNIFICA (and pretty horrible they are, too):

And speaking of horrible:

…no link; you think I want to lose ALL my Readers?

…the only way I would be interested in this would be if the nanny had been caught giving the Royal Ginger a BJ.

Speaking of gingers:

…here’s her knee before the boo-boo:

Now go to work. Only three more days to Friday.

Monday Funnies (Delayed)

June 1, 2021 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

The only good thing about this being Tuesday is that it’s the beginning of a short week. Otherwise, however, it’s the same old job:

So let’s get on with it, “it” being Teh Funneez.

I think they do cosmetic surgery as well as cosmetics because : 1) thinner face, 2) sharper chin, 3) no bags under eyes and 4) bigger breasts.

And on that topic, heeeeere’s Kelly:

And if this doesn’t put a spring in yer whatsit, you’re beyond help.

Caption Competition #179

May 28, 2021 Kim du Toit Captions, Friday Feature

Your suggestions in Comments.

Furniture

May 21, 2021 Kim du Toit The Gun Thing

I have often said that a .22 rifle is not a firearm, but a household appliance and should be treated as such (e.g. Aisle 6 at Walmart, no 4473 no nothing except maybe proof of age over 16).

However, the “guns as household items” concept can always be stretched, as this man proves:

As I said to Combat Controller (who sent me the pic), at least it’s just a Norinco SKS, so no harm done. Had he done it to a Garand or similar, he might well have received a few visitors — and not prospective buyers, either.

Funny as hell, though. Almost as funny as this video…