1. The guys attending sniper school had to be constantly reminded to not wear their ghillie suits to work.

  2. Like so many of her fellow sufferers with Acute Juiciness Syndrome, Irma unconsciously ‘strums’ her lips each time she feels those powerful reproductive ‘urges’!
    (Her face lips, so get your mind ‘out of the gutter’! (A ‘naughty’ pun? You decide…))
    Irma, seen here as she ‘trolls’ another potential ‘conquest’, strokes her lips in anticipation of some ‘deeply’ satisfying oral ‘amusements’!
    Although encounters with others of ‘her kind’ are rare, Irma quickly recognizes a ‘kindred spirit’ simply by the condition of the hair… so similar to her own!

  3. Passenger: First visit to waxer after lockdown?
    Hairball: yeah
    Passenger: ooo that’s gonna burn

  4. Clearly concealing her ‘activities’ hand to ‘strum her lips’ beneath the coat she ‘conveniently’ lays across her lap, Irma is pleasantly surprised by a commuting neighbor using the ‘exact-same’ [editor note — not even close] method!

  5. Although she vaguely recalled a mention in the ‘alternative’ press as among the ‘possible side effects’, on their way home from the latest in the quite-necessary ‘booster’ series of inoculations, Irma was still startled to note a significant development in her twin sister… hereafter known as ‘Hairma’!

  6. “Wear your Army uniform on our next date.” she said. “It’ll make me proud,” she said.

  7. Getting on the current Hollywood fashion train of not bathing, Madonna has also given up shaving.

  8. The Firesign Theater foresaw this one several decades ago:

    “Mind if I sit on this fuzzy duffle bag?”
    “That’s no duffle bag, that’s my daughter, Fuzzy Mae. But you can sit on her anyway.”

  9. With today’s fuel prices, Sylvia wasn’t too keen on the “Gas, grass or ass. Nobody rides for free.” policy, but she came prepared.

  10. All I’m saying, dear, is that it might not have been the best idea to *completely* abandon personal grooming during the lockdown.

  11. Just on my way to work, ma’am, thought these trams do seem a bit more stuffy nowadays.

  12. Cousin It realizing that “natural organic” treatments aren’t enough to deal with his mold infection.

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