Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Other Priorities

Crime, Gypsies Tramps & Thieves, Mocking Furriners

I spoke of Victoria Coren a little while back, and now it’s time to call on her brother Giles, albeit for different reasons:

Giles Coren exploded with rage on social media this morning as he revealed thieves pinched his £65,000 eco-Jaguar for the second time in just three months.
The TV presenter, 51, turned detective back in April after his beloved car was stolen but police told him they didn’t have the ‘manpower to investigate’.

Of course they don’t.  Perhaps it’s because if you go on Twatter and call a footballer a nigger, the response will be dramatic, and immediate.  But to continue:

In an incredible thread, [Coren] posted pictures of his journey in tracking down the Jaguar I-Pace, which he eventually found in Highgate, north London, telling followers he ‘got his electric kitty cat back’.

Didn’t help much.  After spending a small fortune to re-key his car and change all its “anti-theft” doodads, the car was stolen again, leaving Coren in an incandescent rage.

In a furious tweet, Mr Coren wrote: ‘They’ve stolen my fucking car AGAIN!!!! Cost me three grand to reset the keys and put in a new tracking system after last time and what good does it do? FUCK ALL.
‘If you see a black Jaguar iPace reg ending JVN could you tell me? I’ll give you a million pounds.’

Giles, ol’ buddy:  if you’re going to drop a million bucks, you should rather move out of London, to a more law-abiding place like say, Reading.

I’ll give him the last word, though:

The food critic began: ‘Last night the cunts stole my new Jaguar I-Pace. So Fuck them, fuck the environment and fuck any sort of giving a shit about cars.
‘I’m buying a six year old diesel fucking Skoda and everyone can just fuck off.’

Note to the Greens:  when you’ve lost the food critics… after all, this electric car thing will soon lose its allure for other reasons.

News Roundup

Bad News

News so graphic, it should be a comic book.  And it is.


…most governments and teachers’ unions equate homeschooling with child abuse anyway.


…climate change is no doubt causing the Moon to wobble too.


…I’d love to see “Mayor” Buttplug’s supporting argument for this drivel.


…hate to break it to you, Sparky, but we’re way past the “beginning” phase.


…I think Mayor Lightweight should offer her services to Johannesburg, where 11 is the hourly count.


…they got the idea from footage of New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.


…key word:  California, where no legal precedent concerning guns is safe — including the Constitution.


…and just when you thought California was the Perv Capital of the world, the French up their game to remind us who’s boss.

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and lest anyone is not familiar with the last topic:

   

 

My initial take is that not too many people are going to notice the difference.

Caption Competition #186

Captions, Friday Feature

Today’s competition is a little different from the usual.  Y’all have probably seen the twat [sic]  from the FBI.  Here it is, along with some responses already posted.  Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to add your “twats” in Comments.


Unlike in Twatter, your Comments will not be censored or purged, so have at it.

News Roundup

Bad News

News that’s so stomach-churning, it requires little comment, e.g. England losing to Italy in the European Cup Final by penalty shoot-off:


…oooh, who said Brexit wasn’t going to hurt?


…but as government so often tells us under such circumstances:  “If you have nothing to hide, you should have nothing to worry about.”

And showing us how to do it:


…if only Hungarian wasn’t such a difficult language to learn.

“GAY GROUP: ‘WE’LL CONVERT YOUR CHILDREN.’” As sung by the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus. (via Insty)
…at least one of those terms is redundant.


…I don’t know who will benefit most from this reversal but given the source, I’m willing to bet it’s Chinese nationals.

Now let’s get to the kind of news that interests everybody.


…someone that delusional just has to be a lifelong Democrat voter.


…which is probably the same percentage of women who have an orgasm during sex. If that.

But to raise the average, we have instances like this:


…welcome to my world, age 15.

And lest we think it’s all orgasms and sweetness and light, there’s this:


…wait till you read the details.  Yowzer.

But now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

    

Finally, the usual smut:  last time we saw the Butt Squad, they were being arrested in Dubai:

Apparently, that wasn’t enough for them, because they’ve done it again.  And they support the England football team:

I think they’re quite charming.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Back to a five-day work week:

Is it vacation time yet?  After all:

Related:

And I thought that instead of posting the usual skin pics, I’d go for a more classy look today:

All by William-Adolphe Bouguereau.