Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

News, like Nancy Pelosi’s drink problem, barely worth commentary.


…once again the really interesting thing about this is that over one third of the people think that President Braindead is doing an okay job.


…dog bites man news:  socialists have never known how an economy works.


…oh yes it can.  Forever.


…and in solidarity, I bought a box of Frosted Flakes for the first time in nearly twenty-five years.


…when as any fule kno, the correct acronym is LGBTOSTFU.


…I think I’d need a thousand-odd words to write that article, myself.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:


…and stop that laughing.

Almost as good, from the Dept. Of Irony:


…imagine walking in Washington D.C.  What idiots.


…anyone who’s ever worked in retail will understand this one.


…anyone who has ever tried to find parking in an English village will know exactly how this came about.


…not surprising, as SNL hasn’t been funny since the 1990s.

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

    

…and:

Nice that we’re all here to bear witness to the Fall…

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

Dear Dr. Kim:
My girlfriend says she has been faking orgasms for a year and I am considering breaking up with her.  What should I do?  — Unsatisfied, [address withheld]

Dear “Unsatisfied”:

Short answer:  Break up with her.

Long answer:  Break up with her.  No relationship has ever survived sexual dysfunction — in this case, your desire to take your partner to the peak of sexual intimacy, and her inability to do so.

Longer answer:  Break up with her.  In the vast majority of cases, a woman’s inability to have an orgasm is not physical, but psychological — and most especially if she’s never been able to reach a climax with any partner.  There is no upside to the two of you trying to address this together and frankly, I don’t see marriage as even a remote option here.

This is not your problem;  it’s hers.  Move on.

— Dr. Kim Read more

3 Inexplicable Things

3 Inexplicable Things, Funny Stuff

Haven’t had one of these for a while, so here goes:

3 People who should have retired a LONG time ago, but haven’t.

  • Dog The Bounty Hunter — FFS, he’s like 200 years old, still epitomizes White Trash with that trailerpark hairdo and bad-boy-gay clothing which would get him thrown out of any respectable biker gang.  And his schtick is older than my withered ass.

  • Joan Collins — another oldie well past her sell-by date, but still acts and dresses like she’s 25.

  • Nancy Pelosi — this drunken old gargoyle continues to cling to power long after she’s made enough money from it to last four lifetimes, and done more than her fair share to make the U.S. a socialist country.

Feel free to add your suggestions to substitute for the above, but they’d have to be really good to beat this lot.

Choices, Choices

Deep Thoughts, Funny Stuff

Found this at Knuckledragger’s place, and it got me thinking:

If the next meteorite was going to strike a U.S. city, which one would get your vote?

Suggestions in Comments, with a BRIEF rationale.

Unless you nominate Washington D.C., San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle or Portland.  Then no explanation is necessary

News Roundup

Bad News

News presented as though it matters.


…and right on cue:


…and homeschoolers see their numbers increase.  Until homeschoolers are also classed as “domestic terrorists” by the DOJ.


…in other news, Stevie Wonder decries the color of his car.


…also:


…and if you think that the second is not a maskirovka of the former, I have a NY bridge to sell you.


…and why not?  It makes the same kind of sense all his other nominations have made.


…you don’t say.  And because only 40% of the population vaccinated, death and chaos will ensue.


…says the man who still hasn’t realized that a) he’s pretty much irrelevant by now and b) that we’re going to ignore everything he says.


…if they were, I might just register as a Republican.  As it is, though…


…looking for a) a conscience and b) equal treatment from the Left is a pointless exercise.

From the Heart Of Stone Department:


…this could only be funnier if the passenger turned out to be the groom.

And from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious:


…and in other news, Japan surrenders after A-bomb dropped on Nagasaki.


…okay, we’ll just go back to calling them “mothers-to-be”, until all those pregnant men start objecting to that too.

And INSIGNIFICA:

 


…because they want to close their money-losing magazine for good  [sic].

And as a reminder of what Playboy models used to look like:

No girly-boy can ever compete… but that’s not gonna stop the Super-Woke descendants of Hugh Hefner, is it?