Here we are for the inaugural Un-P.C. Awards ceremony. Unlike all the other awards ceremonies, this one isn’t fixed (Oscars, F1, coff, coff ) in that all decisions are made by one man, i.e. Yer Humble (and Unbribable) Narrator and chief supervisor of Kim’s Beer & Treason Brigade.
So here are the winners (no podium finishers for reasons of space / patience, but a couple could actually be lifetime award winners).
Best Internet Boobs Photo: Salma Hayek
Best International Tits: Carol Vorderman
Best Socialist Tits: AOC
Best Photoshop of Socialist Tits:
World’s Best Wingman: Ghislaine Maxwell
Best Prospect For “Suicide” Before Month’s End: see above.
Best New Word (for me): Chesticles
Okay, enough boobs. Other awards:
Most Likely To Have a Train Smash In 2022: Britney Spears
Best 2022 Train Smash Prospect (Youth Division): Maisie Smith (19)
Most Unlikely Hero of 2021: J.K. Rowling
Toughest Old Broad: Queen Elizabeth II
Most Boring Couple: The Ginger Whinger and Duchess CaringSlut
Best Obituary: Battleswarm
“Leaving a trail of slime behind him –”
Start over.
“A repugnant, repulsive reptile –”
Try again.
“What can be said about him that hasn’t already been said about bubonic plague?”
Strike that.
Man, I’m really having trouble staying on the high road for this Harry Reid obit.
Top 10 Songs Of 2021 (apparently; I’ve never heard any of them)
Best New Song I Did Listen To In 2021: Eye of the Storm (Battle Beast)
Congressional Hero: Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV)
Best New Handgun: Springfield SA-35
(I know, shuddup, my list)
Best New Rifle: CZ 600
(link in pic)
Best Headline:
Biggest Anticlimax: Omicron, Grandson of WuFlu
Best Righteous Shooting: Kyle Rittenhouse
Best New Car / Truck / SUV etc. (from this list): None
And finally, with apologies:
Favorite Personal Post of 2021: Seeking Better Times
Favorite Political Post of 2021 (tie): Just One and Out Of Touch
Kyle achieved his best in 2020 but I will accept Best Trial of 2021 for him.
We all KNEW it was a Righteous Shooting back in 2020 — but it took a year for the state to grudgingly acknowledge the fact.
Our useless asswipe of a governor doesn’t seem to acknowledge it. I can’t stand that guy.
I wish to make just one tiny complaint. In this post you said “okay, enough boobs.”
Sir, as a dirty old man in training, I would suggest that there is no such thing.
I do agree with your choices, however.